I've been to parties where they said "BYOB (bring your own bottle) or bring a dish. But at this one, the hostess stopped the music halfway through the party & took up a collection for a friend. I'm broke myself right now & didn't think I should have been put on the spot like that. It made me very uncomfortable & we left soon after that.
2006-12-28 08:19:08 · 18 answers · asked by shermynewstart 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
The hostess did the wrong thing entirely. From the etiquette standpoint, she should have set up a collection box giving general information and a polite request to any and all who could assist. Stopping the music and to then just take up a collection then and there is very rude. You did the right thing by leaving soon after. If anyone asks you, tell them the truth about why you left and why you couldn't donate. If the hostess has the gall to ask you why you left and didn't pitch-in, tell her why. Then also gently and calmly tell her your feelings about what happened. If she doesn't apologies, move on. Be the better person and take the high road of dignity by not letting her or anyone else see you get anger about it.
2006-12-28 08:33:08 · answer #1 · answered by mangamaniaciam 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No this has never happened to me and personally I am such an outspoken person had it happened, I wouldn't have been the only one who was embarrassed at that moment. The Hostess would have been embarrassed as well by my verbal outburst of distaste. I wouldn't have given a dime and would have left after stating that it would have been nice if they would have called all people attending and let them know that they were going to do this.
This hostess should have at least made it clear that it was the holidays and that there was a friend in need and that if anyone wanted to they would be taking donations to help them out.
This was not only rude it was tacky.
2006-12-28 16:30:24 · answer #2 · answered by freyja5683 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That was very rude and very wrong what she did. If this was an intention, it should have been mentioned that a collection was going to be taken during the party for so and so.
Some people while their intentions are good, have no clue as to proper etiquette. If I were you, I would jot this lovely hostess and note and tell you how uncomfortable her gesture made you and other guests feel. (You don't even have to sign your real name).
2006-12-28 16:40:30 · answer #3 · answered by New 4 Lulu 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, that is the tackiest thing I have ever heard! If they absolutely felt that they HAD to take up a collection, the most appropriate thing to do would be to put a basket out near the door and leave a note on it "For Chris and Joan who are trying to cope with their daughter's illness" or something. Then no one would be put on the spot and those who wanted to give, could and those who didn't or couldn't give wouldn't feel uncomfortable.
2006-12-28 16:42:21 · answer #4 · answered by Goose&Tonic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you attend such a low class party anyway? "BYOB" should have been a warning sign! If someone so cheap as to having guests bring their own bottle then they shouldn't be surprised if no one shows up. You should not have shown up. I mean no disrespect but by attending such events you're only stooping to their level! Find yourself a better class of friends!
2006-12-29 14:56:56 · answer #5 · answered by Sven B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That has never happened to me and I personally think it's very tacky. If a collection was going to be taken you should have been given the head's up. A lot of people don't even bring their purses to parties because they don't want to have to keep up with them. It makes it awkward for all involved for something like this to be sprung on you.
2006-12-28 16:39:55 · answer #6 · answered by Pamela 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Was it a rent party? Maybe nobody told you it was a rent party, bill party, doctor party, etc.
I've seen everything. At that point, I wouldve said "OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO TURN OFF MY IRON" and left. But only after finishing my drink and stashing a few bottles in my purse.
2006-12-28 16:23:00 · answer #7 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has never happened to me. I suppose it wouldn't bother me if I didn't feel pressure to give. But if the hostess was putting pressure on people I suppose it would be uncomfortable.
2006-12-28 16:37:00 · answer #8 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it has not happened to me at a party
but it has happened at a hotel and restaurant somebody comes in for a collection while u r sitting at a table
its just very rude and i refuse to donate and i always say if you collected outside as i was coming in or leaving i would be happy to but to ambush somebody never
2006-12-28 16:59:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've seen people do ALL kids of cheezy and tacky things. In fact, I'm almost surprised when someone does NOT try to cheezball me out of money.
2006-12-28 16:21:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋