As a stupid Muslim-who never understood Islam correctly- I believed in no relation with women before marriage. I never had a chance even to be a friend with a girl before getting married. When I was 25 I found that I need to have a wife in my life. I did not think about it enough and asked my family to find whether my uncle’s daughter suits me or not. In my crazy family you can talk to the girl only for few times. Because if you are going to love her that would be enough. Although I had a Master degree I was stupid enough to follow them and choose her. I loved her for the first couple of days but then I went abroad for 1 year for study. I thought that I would have the same feeling after getting back. But I was not so. I did not love her anymore but I couldn’t leave her because I was thinking that this will ruin her life and God doesn’t like that. It is more than 4 years now that I am trying to love her and live with her but I can’t. I really don’t know what to do.
2006-12-28 08:06:36 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Dude, have you tried, i mean really tried looking at her from a different perspective. If you barely know her, take her on a date. Get to know here.
Marriage is about working together and giving her a chance. Find out what you do like about her. Otherwise you will wallow in misery. Remember God does not like quitters either and you did have a choice. Now that you made it, don't regret it. Don't cloud your vision of her with any preconceived notions and just discover her.
try it and you might be happy.
2006-12-28 08:41:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anthony R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this a real question? Umm, will a divorce leave her as an outcast from her family and your society so that she will never be able to marry again? Perhaps you should seek conseling with her to see if you can over come this together. It's hard to say really because in the U.S. divorce is kind of an every day thing now a days... but some times you just have to divorce instead of sacrificing your happiness.
2006-12-28 08:11:57 · answer #2 · answered by 2007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you don't want to leave her for her sake and yours as well. Have you thought about not loving her? What I mean to say is that I have heard of so many similar stories [or arranged marriages] and it doens't just start with love. It starts with respect. Ask yourself if you respect her. Then, it might go into friendship. Do you two have a good time together? In a while, it might turn to love. You just have to let it progress naturally. It may never be the love you want, but if you are going to stay with her then you have to work on what you can get. Hope it helps.
2006-12-28 08:46:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you think God is happy that you're in a loveless relationship and basically leading your wife on? My advice to you is step out the religious realm for a moment so that you can connect with God on a more personal and spiritual. Let God talk to you and direct you in what you need to do. Either way, it may be a decision that people may disagree with but at least you'll be a peace with GOD - JMO.
2006-12-28 08:12:36 · answer #4 · answered by gloried 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think the condition of you marrying your cousin was favorable to begin with, but that's my opinion. Anyway, because your family is already crazy, according to you, you should get out of this loveless marriage and move on with your life. It won't make them any crazier (trust me.). You don't want to wake up one day when you're much older and realize you've wasted your youth on unhappiness. Be happy, and make the most of your life. I don't think anyone would look down on you and judge you for that. Good Luck!
2006-12-28 10:46:05 · answer #5 · answered by Carmen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you did not return and make a child with her then look into divorcing her muslim style if there is such a thing. If there are children involved you owe it to them to keep the family together....they deserve both mom and dad in their daily lives. If it really will ruin her life then love her as you would love any relative....we can't divorce our relatives.
2006-12-28 08:36:37 · answer #6 · answered by Raven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't stay in a situation you don't want to be in. Get a divorce even if its going to shake things up. Thank about you...just for a minute.
2006-12-28 08:35:40 · answer #7 · answered by goldie89lynn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a divorce honey.
2006-12-28 08:09:45 · answer #8 · answered by U Have Nothing Better 2 Do 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay good luck, change your religion or change your views....
2006-12-28 08:10:03 · answer #9 · answered by troble # one? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋