Father needs future son-in-law to ask for her hand in marriage. How do I let him know this? He's a yankee.

Question

Father is very old fashioned . His favorite song is Stevie Ray Vaugh's " Live My Little Girl Alone " Both are freshmen year in college and she' s with child due in June 2007. Young man is well meaning ... But not familiar with southern ways Her dad is torn up about this. and it's affecting his health.

Answer 1

Go to Amazon.com and buy him 'Southern Ladies and Gentlemen'. Send it to him with a nice note telling him how happy you all will be to have him as part of your family and that you hope this funny (but accurate) book will help him understand and accept your daughter's culture. It's less that $12 and maybe he'll take the hint?

Answer 2

Dad needs to learn respect goes both ways, and if he feels "Yankees" have a different set of values, it is just as much his ability to adapt as it is his future son in laws. Is his future son in law chooses not to ask for her hand, for whatever reason, Dad will just have to adjust.
The tradition for asking a fathers permission to marry his daughter is not specifically southern. There is a trend for etiquette and manners to not be taught or expected anymore. That is sad, but to have your health affected by this is a bit of an over reaction.
However, having to have someong tell the young man he should ask for her hand may not be out of line, although seems pretty fake, especially since a baby is involved.

Answer 3

I would mention it to the daughter and future SIL in confidence that the father would appreciate being asked permission. There's no sense in it being a big drama. It's not the norm anymore so the new SIL just doesn't know about it. Inform him then he'll know. Problem solved.

Answer 4

I'd have to question the guy's motives, why in the hell would he want to marry a southern hick chick. doesn't he know the in-laws already hate him and the southern mommas girl will use that as an excuse at the first opportunity for that second marriage?

Answer 5

Hmmmmmmmm...... as a pair each element could be on the table. What you do unlike and what complication you. specifically got here from his relatives. You 2 could desire to grow to be one in case you pick to married one yet another and decide on this married to be paintings. In regulation is a few one you lots admire yet you do no longer could desire to stay with them. you are able to visit them few time a twelve months or you are able to invite them to visit you as quickly as in an surprising whilst. except you're asian, yet even asian interior the united state you do no longer could desire to persist with the custom. issues do no longer in simple terms go away. Draw a line and make the deal. in case you are able to no longer make any settlement at present than forget approximately approximately after married. issues in simple terms get greater complicated as stay go on. So get up and communicate.

Answer 6

Although I can understand your feelings, I think you're being a meddling father. You have no control over them. Just learn to be happy for with the decision they do make, that will be healthier for you.

Answer 7

I would tell the daughter to mention to her future hubby that she would appreciate that he ask for her hand. It's a sign of respect and if he doesn't do it, it's just going to make tension in their relationship between father and new son in law.

Answer 8

You're going to have to pull him aside and talk to him. I'm a southerner who has lived in NYC for 12 years. They just don't get it. Waiting on him is just going to cause the father more consternation.

Answer 9

A yankee? He ought to just break her plate and be shut of both of them. I'd just as soon have my kid marry an Irani Muslim as marry a godless, arrogant yankee.

Answer 10

How about simply pulling him aside and telling him. And seriously, any man who doesn't know you're supposed to ask the father first isn't really worth marrying!!!