What can I do to make her understand that girls should not go around with dirty clothes, unbrushed teeth,musky underarms, skipping bathes and her hair uncombed?It's like she just don't care. She is heavy and I tell her , if you are going to heavy that's one thing, but to be heavy and nasty is terrible for a girl....it doesn't work!!! I'm not like that...I don't know where she gets it from. How can I turn a moth into a beautiful butterfly?
2006-12-28 07:03:17 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Mom-
there is something wrong
get her to a therapist or minister to talk.
This is a neon sign.
2006-12-28 07:05:37 · answer #1 · answered by Denise W 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Don't let this get out of control - it will only get worse. I would make her every night get a shower and make her wear deodorant and brush her teeth in front of you. And if her weight is becoming a problem take her to the doctor and have them put her on a well balanced diet. Don't let her continue to be a slob, make her clean her room and do chores around the house that will take some weight off her. It's just plain not healthy for a girl her age not to take a shower everyday. Tell her she has a weight problem and that she smells bad, if you don't say it to her in a nice way, I'm sure one of her classmates will say something and it won't be very nice. So you either tell her or I'm sure that some mean kid will. Do something now and save her the heartache of being teased and made fun of.
2006-12-28 15:22:25 · answer #2 · answered by bluekitty1984 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lead by example...I'm not saying you don't, but first you have to exhibit all the behaviors you expect from her. Be sure to provide her with all the toiletries she needs. In fact, take her to the store with you when you buy them. Establish and enforce structure in the house. After school she has to do homework, do chores, change & bathe before TV, computer or bed. Enforce it! If you are going out to a movie or something, tell her she can't go until she is presentable. Then start taking away priviledges and allowance. She'll get the message quickly. You have to be the parent. She is 13. Children need to undertand clearly who is in charge in the home and in their lives. Quit being her friend and "asking" her to do things. Don't be cruel or mean to her, but let her know that you still run the show, even if she is 13! Love, including tough love, builds strong character.
2006-12-28 16:46:02 · answer #3 · answered by Apple21 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully you aren't talking to her like you are in your question. She sounds like she feels lousy about herself so she doesn't care. However, if you nag at her and call her a "moth" and not a "butterfly," you might be making the problem worse. Back off.
She has to want to do something different. You can't make her. My son (now age 22) had been the same way. He is too heavy and has lousy teeth. When he got older, and wanted to have friends (girls) things changed regarding hygiene. He is still too heavy, but that is HIS CHOICE.
2006-12-28 17:15:52 · answer #4 · answered by Dizney 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's one thing to tell her to keep clean, but it's another thing to tell your daughter she is heavy. Girls, especially teens, are very sensitive when it comes to things like that. If YOU were heavy would you want people reminding you?
You need to set the consequences for bad hygiene. If she doesn't brush her teeth then she gets the tv taken away. If she skips a bath then the she's grounded from music or the internet. So far there haven't been consequences for her bad hygiene and once you set some she'll start taking better care of herself.
As for her heaviness, alot of girls at this age are heavy. It's part of puberty. You shouldn't remind her that she's heavy because it's not even her fault. Maybe you could, in a nice way, suggest joining a gym. Maybe the two of you could do workouts from home. Telling her she's heavy and then telling her to "fix it" isn't going to work. You're going to have to take that first step of getting her into better shape.
2006-12-28 15:10:17 · answer #5 · answered by CelebrateMeHome 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
When girls get to their teens, we all get sloppy, but this is a major cry for help. Ask her if something happened in school or just check on her once in a while. If you don't spend a lot of time together, make a shopping date and buy her some soaps and great smelling body washes to make her feel special. Don't mention about her being heavy again. Us girls are really sensative, and something like that can make a girl suicidal. I doubt that about her though, it seems like it hasn't gotten too far.
2006-12-28 15:15:41 · answer #6 · answered by Forever_&_Always 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do any of her friends have older sisters that she can hang out with for a day? Maybe if she heard it from another teenager it would sink in.
As a mom of a daughter, I completely understand and I know as much as you say it...it won't sink in. So, let someone else tell her about how sloppy she looks and then maybe she can get advice from this person about fashion.
Either that...or WAIT until she discovers BOYS. Once she does, she'll be spending hours in the bathroom getting ready. Do you have any friends with sons her age?
2006-12-28 15:14:15 · answer #7 · answered by question_everything 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister was heavy but took good care of herself until she got married at 23 and her husband who is huge didn't take care of himself. We finally came to my sister (my mom and I) and told her they both smelled and looked disgusting and a bigger person needs to clean themselves better than a small person and make sure to get folds and stuff. Nothing wrong with telling her she's heavy in my opinion because being heavy needs more maintinance and better hygene.
But perhaps being a bigger girl is turning the boys away just when she's ready to start looking at them and it's depressing her.
I'd say- set a weightloss goal for yourself as a new year's resolution and get a membership to curves but kinda whine to her that you don't want to go alone and then as a surprise get her a membership as well.
Go for a makeover at the Clinique counter at the mall, have them explain to her how important proper facial cleansing is and how important clean teeth are to give that beautifal face the perfect finish. Speak with a nutritionist at the dr's office about what she's eating firstly adding pounds secondly what it could be doing to her teeth and her pores and also that certain foods make your sweat smell strongly.
2006-12-28 15:25:50 · answer #8 · answered by momofthreemiracles 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Force her to wash and wear deodrant... find different kinds of deodrant that she can try and see what one she prefers. If you want her to get fit then research some kind of dance class that would interest her like hip hop and then see if her and her friends would like to join. If she's eating a lot of unhealthy foods then just stop buying. thats what my mum does and it really helps... when all there is is fruit - then theres no way out! and make her fruit smoothies with a blender because she will be more likely to drink it if you make it for her...
2006-12-28 15:14:52 · answer #9 · answered by l04i16 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont tell her she's heavy, it will just piss her off and she wont listen to the other stuff you say.
as for the slob thing, has she got a new set of friends or something? has something happenned at home?
maybe give her a compliment on something first, like her homework or artwork or something she's good at and then gently ask her why she doesnt bathe etc.
something definitely happenned to her...the weight thing is just puberty.
2006-12-28 15:18:04 · answer #10 · answered by crank 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her shopping and let her buy a few outfitts she likes.
Who knows mayb she doesnt like the close she is wearing.
or it could be she needs to see a therapist mayb something is bother her?
good luck
2006-12-28 15:11:59 · answer #11 · answered by Stary_989 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋