I just never had much luck with women. I am not a smooth talker, funny, rich, or great looking either. I am mentally stable, but not confident at all. I have tried all sorts of things, even went to a shrink with self esteem issues. I think the advice was something stupid like, don't worry, you'll find the right one. That's good advice for a high schooler, but not when you are 37.
I went to college. I work for a living, so its not that I am living in my parent's basement either. I exercise, but I am not buff.
I am not looking for a model. I have had girlfriends over the last few years who I managed to find through the personal ads. But, I never really liked them. My friends thought they were too fat or not attractive. [I hate saying that.] The ads are the dating avenue of last resort.
I dress well, but only had gays or grandmas or well below average girls approach me.
I talk to girls, but never get anywhere. I ask some out, but mostly get rejected, no matter how kindly
2006-12-28 06:40:47 · 9 answers · asked by JustTheD 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I was in your shoes for awhile - I didn't get married till I was 37.
Like you, I was a professional living on my own and wanting to find someone cool who I could really love.
The only 'glitch' I see in your writings is the part where you say "My friends thought they were too fat or not attractive."
Well - who is dating these girls? You or your friends?
Consider this - Do you really want a girl all your pals are lusting over? LOL
I dated through the online sites for a couple years. You get to filter out a lot of what you don't want and focus on what you really do want. The women there are single and wanting to meet someone. So, it's a good deal. Spend the money and go out with a lot of the ones you feel attracted to from their ads and e-mail communications. I dated a LOT of girls online, and I had lots of fun and met some really great girls.
I even married one! She was everything I wanted...and it's working out great for both of us.
I don't know if my friends thought she was hot or not when we were going out, though. I know they all like her now that they've gotten to know her. That works for me.
Be yourself, and date others who are being themselves, too. Give the online dating thing a shot...I did it for fun and ended up finding a wife.
2006-12-28 07:25:12 · answer #1 · answered by wrdsmth495 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, forget about what your friends think. Everybody wants
the best of the best, but most of us have to settle for something
much less. Even if you were the best of the best, by your age
all those women that are interested in a serious relationship are
already there. You have to face facts and settle for a compromise. A nice girl with two kids that nobody wants to take
responsability for and has maybe a little weight problem, etc.
You may not receive the unconditional love that we all seek, but
hardly any of us get that anyway. I know I never did. My wife
was beautifull and a great housekeeper, a great sex partner and
a good mother, but always found too many flaws with me.
We all have a different perspective of what marriage or a great
relationship consists of and if you are not willing to compromise,
then you might as well just stay alone or become gay, but even
then, you probably have the same problem.
. Wow, I just read the other answers. They are all good. I think
there are a lot of nice people taking an interest in your well being.
Good Luck!
2006-12-28 06:56:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! I am 30 something, and I do understand what you are going through. You really have to work on your self-esteem first, feel better about yourself, that to me is an attractive quality. I have recently become single and it scares me to think about being hit on by the wrong men. I am usually hit on by guys in their early 20's nice ego boost, but not what I am looking for. So, I guess what I am trying to say is that I sympathize with you, just hang in there the right women is there, I believe that. Really work on your self-esteem, I battle that daily, and it is hard, BUT you can do it. Try looking in the mirror every morning when you get up and list your good qualities, then make the BEST of the day no matter what!
My best to you! Keep looking forward.
2006-12-28 06:56:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Women in their 30's are the best group to date.
The best ones are the ladies who got married at 18, got divorced at 26 and have been since for a while. These are the women that have come to know themselves and are uninhibited with affection. They also know what a bad relationship is like and can truly appreciate what it is like to be treated nicely.
I used to find packs of women like this at fun nightclubs where live bands would play disco music covers. In San Francisco when the the Cheeseballs or SuperDiamond play, they always have a ton of ladies in that demographic that are single and ready to mingle.
good luck with your journey.
2006-12-28 06:46:24 · answer #4 · answered by cleanguy4cleanfun 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what do you consider well below average...maybe you should try getting to know a girl before you decide she isn't pretty enough for you to date. Sometimes you become attracted to people as you get to know them and you see their personality. And you should work on your confidence...you could be the hottest guy on the planet, but if you dont' have confidence you'll repel girls.
Just decide you can have any girl you want and start approaching them...if you think you're good enough, they might too
2006-12-28 06:45:03 · answer #5 · answered by duvalicious 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
37 huh?...
Let me tell you something. I'm 23 and I like a guy who is 37. I know he likes me but he never even asks me out! That is really disappointing. Because when a guy is 30 something you expect..action from him.
Take my advice: I'm sure there is a girl you like. Go for her. Be romantic, be insistent and she'll be yours. But first decide whether it's really what you want. Relationship requires lots of work and cooperation. Maybe you are not ready to take responsability yet?
2006-12-28 06:53:37 · answer #6 · answered by Ami 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, just try to relax. Be yourself and don't stress about it. Start going to places where you can find women with common interests or, heck. . .the grocery store, library. . .
Keep telling yourself that you're a great guy and you'll project that to others. Get confident!
If you're mentally beating yourself up you'll project that. . .you are what you think.
Put your chin up, smile and let those ladies know that you're a catch!
Good luck to you!
2006-12-28 06:45:53 · answer #7 · answered by YuckItUp 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself always. It may seem simple but one day, she will come along and you'll end up toghether. Never be self conchious about how you look becase girls will notice. Remeber, build a friendship, then a relationship! Good luck! ; )
2006-12-28 06:45:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
look for the right person maybe u could try speed dating or wait for that person that u feel passionate about i'm shore that you will find ur lucky some soon good luck
2006-12-28 06:47:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋