Etiquette RE: Future M.I.L and dress making?

Question

Hello !
I am in a bind and am coming to all of you for some great advice.
In the early stages of my relationship with my FH, his mother sat down with me and told me that she would be honored to make my Wedding dress.
In late October, my FH broke the news to his Mom that we plan to be wed in March 2007. He asked her not to make a big production of it because we would like a small, intimate wedding.
In mid November, her father (my FH's grandfather) was diagnosed with stage 4 mesothelioma. I'm sad to say that he passed away a week ago.
Mind you, because of the sensitivity of the matter, I have refrained from talking to her about wedding plans and whatnot.
I might also want to add that she is currently living in Bahrain (an island off of Saudi Arabia).
She is in the states now visiting us and doing Christmas in Disney. I think she's trying to occupy herself so as she is not reminded that she just lost her father.

I hope I gave enough info in the above to help you help me.

Here is the question:

I am perfectly fine with purchasing a dress. Matter of fact, I've had my eye on a particular one for a few months now. BUT, I do not want to take the opportunity of her making my wedding dress away from her. I also want her to know that I am okay if she decides not to make me one, so she is not pressured, ya know? How do I bring this up? When?
My FH seems to think that I should wait until she goes back home (to Bahrain) after New Years. I'm afraid if I wait until she is back there, if she decides she still wants to make this dress for me, she will run into difficulty getting my measurements and yaddy yaddy. But, I'm afraid to ask her while she is here and risk sounding like a selfish, inconsiderate Bride to be.

Thanks for taking the time to read through this, and all advice is welcome.

Answer 1

AM LOST.

Answer 2

Just tell her you already purchased a dress. That you didn't want to bother her because of her recent loss. You would have loved her to make you a dress, but now you'd loose your money. Oh and the dress is at your girlfriends house so your FH won't catch a glimpse of it.

Answer 3

Sit down and talk to her abouit, if she never mention it.. then she might be too stressed and emotional to do it now but as you said- maybe she would like something to do. We can only guess, your going to have to sit her down and just come out and ask her. Unless, you would rather buy a dress and tell her not to worry about it.

Answer 4

I'm sorry to hear your situation but I'm really not sure what your question is. If you can add some details, I'll gladly give you my advice.

Answer 5

What exactly is the question?