HELP! My son just asked the question?

Question

My four year old son just called me at work and asked me how a baby gets into it's mommy's tummy. His babysitter is pregnant. She didn't know what to say so she had him call me. I asked an older lady in my office what she told her children. She said she told them daddy planted a seed in mommy's tummy so it could grow into a baby. So that's what I told him. I know he will have more questions when I pick him up. Can any of you more seasoned parents offer your advice? it would be much appreciated!

Answer 1

your answer needs to be age-appropriate. if he doesn't ask any more questions, don't bring it up. if he does, don't give too much info as to scare him. keep it simple and answer questions like you think they might be answered on sesame street or dora the explorer.

Answer 2

well if he is four he will probably believe what ever to tell him but any way just try telling him how it goes but just leave out all the info you think he cant handle just tell him that when 2 people love each other very much the daddy plants a seed in the Mommy's tummy (like you already said) and then 9 months later the seed grows into a beautiful baby like he is. then when he is older and when he can handle it fill him in with a bit more info. hope i helped and good luck.

Answer 3

9lives explaination was awesome! I have done childcare for a long time so you hear it a lot. Let them guide you. A child doesn't ask more than they can handle knowing. He has to learn it sooner or later. Ask him how he thinks it happens and correct him bit by bit. Tell him but leave out the details. I started by telling my son that we wanted another baby, slowly went into more and more detail about it taking half mommy and half daddy and then the baby grew in my tummy. That's all he wanted to know and said "oh OK" but I was all prepared to answer more. Sometimes just getting that much is enough. My sister told her that daddy put it there until the baby is big enough to come out. Don't know if I agree with that but its all a kid needs to know. If they ask more questions, tell them bit by bit, but more than likely you will lose their attention (especially if you act like its no big deal). I have no problem with being honest with my kids though, its a part of life and they need to learn sooner or later.

Answer 4

My plan is to tell my son that when a mommy and a daddy love each very much God puts a baby in the mommy's tummy and it grows with love.

Answer 5

First of all, I would tell the babysitter not to be having my child call me at work with something like that. She should have told him "We'll ask mommy when she picks you up"

There isn't much you can tell a 4 year old. They aren't going to understand sex and all of that so you basically just have to tell them like your co-worker said. My son is 4 and I am pregnant and he wondered the same thing. We told him God put the new baby in mommy's tummy to grow until it is big enough to come out. He hasn't asked anymore about it. Really kids at that age have 1 track minds, he will probably have forgotten that he even wanted to know by tomorrow.

Answer 6

just be gentle-
be logical and use a metaphor "plant/seed" is okay- except they maybe scared of Lima beans from here on!

we did the "when to married people are in love" they want to have a baby. They come together in a special way and create a baby in the Mommy's belly and it grows there for several months so that the parents can make ready the room for the new baby.

I used the "Jesus in the manager" story too.
good luck mom!

Answer 7

Its up to you what you think is appropriate to tell your child. I explained to my 2yr old when I was pregnant that a Dad has sperm and a Mum has an egg and when the sperm goes into the egg it becomes a baby and the baby grows inside the Mums womb until its big enough to be born. She was fine with that. I also showed her my pregnancy book which illustrates the size of the fetus. So she knew how big the baby was. Years later she asked how babies are born ( where they come out ) and I explained the truth) It was rather embarrasing for a while cause she kept telling everyone. Until I explained that everyone already knew and they didnt want her to tell them. I think honesty is the best policy. I remember when I was 2 and my Mum was pregnant with my brother, and I asked that question. I remember her showing me pictures of babies development and how they are made. But again its up to you and what you think your child is ready to hear. Have fun and good luck.

Answer 8

I drew diagrams for my kids when they asked, about age 5.
I referred them to their own bodies for the man part and drew a diagram of a woman's anatomy. Then I told them than when people are ready to really love a child, they put their bodies together with a LOT of love, and this sends an invitation to the baby they want to invite into their lives.
I told them it takes 3 things to invite a baby:
1. A Mommy and a Daddy with their two bodies
2. Love between them and the desire to have a baby
3. Their promise to always be there and take care of the baby.

I had also taught them responsibility for pets before, so they know that when you invite a puppy into your life, you have to take care of it, too. I used this example to impress upon them that when someone wants to have a baby, this is a great responsibility, and they have to be absolutely sure that they are willing to really take care of it.
I used a book with pictures to show them how the baby grows in the womb. Example: http://www.amazon.com/Conception-Birth-Life-Unfolds/dp/0385503180/ref=si3_rdr_bb_product/002-8415866-1618430
(Just copy the link and paste into your browser, it will take you to the Amazon page with this book). You can also search the web for fetal development images.

I found that my boy's interest in the subject mostly related to their curiosity about themselves. Who am I? How did I come about?

It would be inappropriate to pass any adult shame-based biases onto them.
We browsed through the 'baby' book, and they were wide-eyed with wonder that they had grown from such a small thing into who they were. Then they lost interest, their curiosity satisfied, and the question didn't come up again until their teen years when they wanted more detailed information about 'men and women'. That's another subject though.

In my opinion, it makes no sense to tell children lies about conception. They will remember what you told them and their trust will be diminished later.
You don't have to give them the complete sex education. Keep it simple, but be honest.
Tell them something you can build upon later.
Relax, at that age they won't be thinking about wild sex and porn. They just have a simple, curious question that can be answered in a simple, honest way.

Answer 9

when two people love eachother they get married and have kids. The man plants his seed, also known as semen, into the womens seperate tummy, not the same tummy where food goes, but another tummy (called a uterus) and 9 months later a baby is born. I use real terms when giving descriptions so there is no confusion and less questions.

Answer 10

Children are exposed to way more than we were as children. I say you start them off early and tell the truth. Start now and every conversation after that regarding the subject is a reinforcement. Hopefully they will be like my children 17 and 14 and know how it happens and to not mess around until they are way of age.

We have cousins who started cranking babies out at age 13, so I felt the need to not cutsie up this topic at an early age with my children, it served as a good method of birth control, by the time I got finished painting the picture!

Answer 11

I have been asked this question more than once. (I have 3 children already) I always tell them God puts it there if the mommy and daddy want it. They don't usually ask to much more. As they get older I explain a mom and dad make a baby in there. I have yet to have to explain how. Thank goodness. That is what I tell my children. As they get older they get more detailed answers. Good luck