My boyfriend is Italian and his family is from up north..He's very close to his mom, which Italian men are known to be. He does things that aggragvate me, though, like tap into my e-mails and look through everything in my cell phone etc..he has to know EVERYTHING. But when the tables turn, he'll get a phone call or see one of his friends, and say "can you go in the other room and wait for me, this is important.." or he'll walk away when he gets a certain phone call and get furious if I follow him. His excuse is that I can't handle certain things!! Once, I wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine and had my friend call me..I did the same; went up stairs and used his lines "this doesn't concern you..sorry, I have to take this..wait here"....he was LIVID..he kicked things , he stormed after me, turned red..went nuts about it..his mom tried to stop him and he pushed her out of his way and caused a big commotion in his house. Is this double standard typical of Italian-American men?
2006-12-28 06:21:33 · 18 answers · asked by Anna 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
thanks for all the input..I have thought of leaving him, but i'm so afraid i'll miss him too much, so I decided that I would hold on until I find another guy, but it seems impossible with him watching my every move!! I mean, who knows, he might even read this question blog thing!
2006-12-28 06:53:29 · update #1
judithlynn's right; I don't know how italian-american really act or how much stereotypical behaviour are true in real life or not; but I can tell you in Italy a girl will not accept such a behaviour from a man. That of course doesn't mean that in Italy no man (or woman) at all act like yur bf, but people who does are considered (plain said) dirty bas*****.
So it doesn't matter where he or his family's from, it's all not about root, but rotten brain. *Absolutely* don't make the mistake to think he can change after marriage. As difficult it can be to leave a person you love, if a person you love doesn't respect you as an equal person, he doesn't deserve to be loved.
2006-12-28 15:28:14 · answer #1 · answered by Pinguino 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dating An Italian Man
2016-09-30 11:14:01 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I am from an Italian American family and I can tell you that people *are* like that (not just the men but the women too). There is a lot of nosiness, bossiness, controlling behavior. Older people think they have to be in the younger folks' business. But anyway, I agree with other posters: even though the stereotype is sometimes true, it is no excuse for tolerating this kind of behavior! Italian or not, this man is ABUSIVE! Get away from him!
2006-12-28 06:38:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I am from an Italian family, and yes it is common for Italian men to lose their cool easily. You definitely don't want to make an Italian man mad. If I were you, I'd sit down and talk to him about it. He really needs to control himself. It doesn't even matter that he is Italian, that is not an excuse. If you two can't make a fair agreement, then stop going out with him. A man who can't control himslef is not worth dating. Believe me, you'll be having problems with him in the future if you can't calm him down. He needs to learn he can't always have it his way. A relationship should be fair and to both people not just one. Good luck!
2006-12-28 06:28:33 · answer #4 · answered by Sarah J 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
It has not been my experience that Italian men are like yours. I dated one who was lots of fun, so was his family & friends. My brother-in-law is 100% Italian & he & his brothers are great. Your boyfriend is controlling. He's got some serious problems which has nothing to do with his nationality & given his extreme behavior if he ever marries he will probably be physically abusive as well as verbally. I'm surprised he hasn't already harmed you physically. Why aren't you running away from him just as fast as you can? No one on earth deserves to be treated as he treats you. So please listen to everyone's responses here & heed their advice.
2006-12-28 06:28:24 · answer #5 · answered by Judith 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
MOST DEFINITELIY HONEY
Mine was the same way, weve been together a while now though, and since we had our son things have changed. I wish I could tell you how to change him but thats just the way that italian men are. Exactly like the steriotype, we know that that putting up with it has its benefits.
2006-12-28 06:25:18 · answer #6 · answered by Chrissy WB 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He shouldn't be. Italians are not as machist anymore in Italy. I don't know in America. He is just too machist. Be careful with that relationship, darling.
2006-12-28 06:25:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's just the different culture where the man wants to feel like he's got more power over you. Maybe you could talk to him about it and tell him if he won't change his strange secretiveness then you don't want to be with him.... and if he really cares about you - he'll understand and hopefully change his ways.
2006-12-28 06:39:58 · answer #8 · answered by l04i16 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude...this is not stereotypical of any kind of man other than a nutcase...you need to really evaluate if the relationship is actually worth all the BS your going to be putting up with now and in the future.
2006-12-28 06:25:36 · answer #9 · answered by tuffness9999 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You had better give him some ground rules & very fast or you had better leave him because he seems like he may get violent especially if he is kicking things around & even in front of his Mum!!
He is a control freak & the potential for a dangerous one!!!!
2006-12-28 08:11:12 · answer #10 · answered by ausblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋