I have been dating this girl for 2months now. I started dating her not too long from when she broke up with her BF, whom she'd been dating for 1yr now. I like her, she likes me. She recently called me to tell me that she isn't sure if the relationship will prosper because she thinks we are very different in terms of views, beliefs etc. She also claims that she misjudged how long it will take for the emotional ties to her ex to be severed. She claims that she feels like she can fall in love with me. But, if she does not clear her head as to what she wants, she might hurt me or whatever. I said we can work things out. I don't know if I should just call it quits. Well I like her a lot. That is why I am investing my energy in this. What should I do now? Please Please help a man in his darkest hour. Thank you very much for reading and responding
2006-12-28 06:18:53 · 12 answers · asked by Michael O 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like she has a lot of excuses on why she needs to break up with you. Let her go. She needs time to be by herself and figure things out.
2006-12-28 06:21:46 · answer #1 · answered by Diane A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Michael
5 people responded to your first question with very good ideas on the situation. You pro bally didn't like what they all tried to tell you. Put your emotions off and read them again. It has only been 2 months and I am sure you like her very much and would like it to continue. BUT the first few weeks of a relationship is exactly how the relationship will be. This relationship started with her not over her last BF, she isn't clear in her head and she is trying to tell you this without you thinking its you. It isn't you-its her and it isn't that she doesn't want you, she isn't sure what she wants.
You can give it time and date other girls and you can date her too! Dating and relationships are supposed to be carefree and fun not heavy hearted and confused. I bet you are a really nice guy and there is a world of girls out there to date and enjoy your time with! You just have to see this for what it is and figure out if its making you happy, I don't think it is.
Good luck.
2006-12-28 14:30:22 · answer #2 · answered by uzurhead 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She said she noticed you guys had very different views and beliefs, and that is one reason she is hesitant--value systems are a really important part of any relationship and if major life/worldviews and beliefs conflict, it is likely to lead to conflict between the two of you later on--I am speaking from experience. I think you should discuss her concerns further with her.....as for the ex issue, I can relate to that--I was on the rebound when I got into my current relationship and it wasn't until I was able to come to terms with the first breakup, that I was able to put my heart and soul into the new relationship....it ended up hurting my current boyfriend's feelings ALOT......maybe she doesn't want to put you through that and just needs a little time by herself to get over the first boyfriend....I would keep trying to communicate with her and get her to share her feelings, but don't pressure her or she'll feel cornered and back off even further......good luck, hope you can get it to work out!!!!
2006-12-28 14:33:47 · answer #3 · answered by dizzylizzy20_11 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i started dating a guy about 1 week after ending a 4 year relationship, and i understand a lot of what she is saying. when you get out of a relationship like that, it makes you jump into new relationships without thinking because you don't want to be alone. give her some time to think and she will probably come around, i did and i have never been happier with this new guy. just tell her to be honest with you and if you find out she's been seeing other guys, stop talking to her. i think she just needs to get over her first before she moves on. give her some time and respect her feelings, she may be saving you some pain.
2006-12-28 14:25:04 · answer #4 · answered by krazy_chic6944 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she still has feelings for her ex, which is sounds like she does, then you need to be VERY careful. Women have a habit of using new men as a rebound relationship to help get over old boyfriends. Once they are over said boyfriend, they have a tendancy to move on to a new guy. Did she break up with her ex or did he break up with her?
If he broke up with her then she may be simply looking for validation from you. She may feel rejected and unloved and may need confidance from you until she can stand on her own again.
Just be very careful. I see nothing wrong with dating her but take things slow. Watch out for the "L word" because that could lead to a world of problems right now. She needs time to work things out in her head. Just be there for her and keep letting her know that you really care for her.
Guard your emotions but also know she needs acceptance and reassurance right now. It sounds like she is feeling insecure from her previous breakup.
Good luck!
-Holly
http://www.iconfessional.com
2006-12-28 14:23:49 · answer #5 · answered by Holly 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Until she gets full closure on her passed relationship, there is nothing you can do but wait.....and at the end, there might not be anything to wait for if she decides to get back with her ex. So the question is....is she worth the pain of waiting? or is it just lust? because if she is just telling you she could fall in love, that means she isn't in love with you yet, and that you might have more invested in the relationship then her.
2006-12-28 14:26:14 · answer #6 · answered by purpledragonflyjrh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bro. Diane A hit the nail on the head. Your girlfriend is just being honest with you. She does not really like you. You were just the "rebound" guy. It was nice while it lasted, but you are not the one for her. Give her a big hug, say that you understand, and let her go. You want a woman to be with you because you are truly her type and she really likes you.
Besides, there are always pretty girls out there.
Mr. M on "the latter is."
2006-12-28 14:25:34 · answer #7 · answered by Humberto M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is still heart broken from her break up. Women need time to heal they are emotional beings. Try to be understanding and helpful to her, give her some space to breeth. She just came out of a relationship it is not healthy to rush back into one. Give her time and do not become her rebound. Let her heel.
2006-12-28 14:25:31 · answer #8 · answered by george 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drop her. She's obviously not ready for another relationship. No matter how much you like her, she's stringing you on by keeping you around. When she's mature enough to end one relationship and begin another, then you can see if she's still worth it. But don't waste away on something that may never happen.
2006-12-28 14:23:16 · answer #9 · answered by deacondarlin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
back out for a while tell her you understand and that she can call you whenever, wait for a few weeks at the most and call her and ask her out if she says no move on
she probably likes u but needs to thinks things over
2006-12-28 14:25:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋