My friend and I have this "relationship"...?

Question

My friend and I have known each other for about 2 1/2 years. We pretty much play the part of boyfriend and girlfriend.. always have.. I take care of him, his kids, groceries, etc. etc. We have a great love life.. but he continues to use the phrases "When I find a girlfriend.. " or "Well when you find yourself a boyfriend.." He's told me from the get-go that we will never date, ever!.. So why does he continue to spend so much time with me.. We do EVERYTHING a married couple would.. He hands me the phone when his Mom calls, haha.. we buy each other things to show we care.. We spend time with one another's families.. I would love to have a real relationship with this man, but I don't get too attached knowing that he's always on the lookout for another girl.. Sometimes I feel as though I'm wasting my time.. What do you think? Honestly.. I know the "YOU'RE SO STUPID" comments are going to pour in, but be nice.. I just wanted a few opinions.. preferably from a man's standpoint.

FYI. He knows how I feel.. and just won't date me b/c of our age difference.. Me = 22 and Him = 29.. He is afraid I'll want kids, and he doesn't want anymore.

Answer 1

The good new is he must care about and respect you because he was honest and upfront with you about his intentions, but the bad news it sounds like you have accepted being just a stand-in until he finds whatever it is that he wants.

Yes, I realize you love him, but you are not getting the love you need in return and if he does hook up with another girl you are going to be devastated. You are going to have to make a choice about what you really want in order to be happy long-term.

If it were me I would upfront about how I feel and ask for a real relationship and he still held his ground, I would distance myself from this relationship, maybe even having to a least temporarilly terminate it, so I could move on with my life. As long as he is in your life and you are holding out for false hopes that he will change, you are cutting yourself off from other possibilities that will make your truly happy.

Any change in life is difficult, and if you do have to end it with this man it may be the hardest thing you ever have to do, but it would be easier now on your own term than to be the one cast aside if he does find someone else.

Answer 2

honestly, you need to sit down and talk to him about this. you obviously have feelings that are more than a friend for him..and to find out if it can be returned or not is something you have to straight up ask him about..it's the only way to know for sure.

i mean you guys sound like you know each other very well and can definitely tolerate each other for long periods of time..but that's all good, but is there a spark?? is there intimacy?? can you connect on that intimate level?? i mean.. roomates can get a long great, but do not make a marriage. this is all stuff you have to talk to him about. maybe he gets along great with you in all those ways..but doesn't have the chemistry to be in a relationship with you?? perhaps he thinks you're the one who doesn't want the relaitonship??
being comfortable and doing those things is not a relationship..it's a fill in.. basically i do the same thing with my best friend. he stays with me..we have dinner together, we do pretty much everything together..but that's what he is my best friend..it just throws it off b/c he's a male (and most people cna't grasp how we are not more) and we've always kept an open line of communication about our feelings..and you need to do the same thing in order for it to be fair to both you and him.

Answer 3

Comfortability. That's it. He has someone to fill the gaps, and believes that you feel the same way. PLEASE tell him how you feel. You are doing yourself a diservice if you don't.

Answer 4

hey you want to be my friend ????? I would love to have someone like you untill i find a gf

Answer 5

He's playin'