I've been dating someone i work with for about a yr now. We've been having talks about moving in together this coming year. We met each others family... and the relationships seems to be ok. He seems ready to take the next step, but there are a few alarming issues. One finanically and two personally. Financially, he is in a extremely money tight place right now. Personally, I've become aware that he has be speaking with his ex. They even went as far as telling eachother that they still love one other. He claims they had very difficult relationship and that they can never be together. And after all this, he's still with me... what should i do? should i be worried about this "other girl"? do u really think that he's commited?
2006-12-28 05:53:08 · 14 answers · asked by wonka 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
not a good idea... ever
2006-12-28 05:54:50 · answer #1 · answered by ~♥Jade♥~ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he still loves his ex, I would be concerned. I know if I had any feelings for my ex and my girlfriend found out she'd be really upset. As I guy honestly, his faith-fullness to you becomes in question when he still admittedly has feeling for his ex. Fine they can't be together, but what stops them for just having sex. The problem is when you guys ever have a large argument, it might drive into arms of his Ex for comfort. I don't think its really fair to you that you should be competing for affection with his ex, especially if says he wants take the next step in your relationship - that mix signals.
Your in a tougher situation because you all so work with him, I avoided office relationships, because if doesn't you are stuck having still to deal with that person at work.
The fact that he is financially unstable right now, there is easy ways you can protect yourself. Keep separate bank accounts, line of credit and especially credit cards. Speak to a financial adviser on how you can protect your assets if you have any investments. If you are buying house together, open separate joint bank account just for the mortgage, so both of you can individually deposit your share of the mortgage. But you probably know all this.
2006-12-28 14:13:49 · answer #2 · answered by Curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I second that thought - NEVER EVER NEVER a good idea to date a co-worker. You've got a 90% chance it will go sour and then you'll be left to deal with seeing them everyday and face office gossip. About your current situation: He's not going to commit to you if he's telling another woman that he still loves her. Regardless of whether they had a difficult relationship or not. I don't mean to be cruel but it may be that he wants to move in with you because he needs the financial stability - not because you're the one. Darlin, it may hurt but I think you should take the garbage out to the dump before it starts to stink. Get rid of him.
2006-12-28 14:01:43 · answer #3 · answered by Lilith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) Tell your boss that you are dating. This protects both of you, in the event that something does go bad. 2) RED FLAG - I think he's 'committed', but not necessarily 'dedicated'; if he is still 'in love' with his ex, you must not move in with him. It will help him financially, but will it benefit you, or his ex?
I have been dating someone from work for 1.5 years now. We are now engaged and getting married in May 2007. The first thing we did was tell our repsective bosses. The second, we opened up to our peers to put any rumours to bed. If the entire office knows your dating, he'll likley be the one to leave if he cheats. You're protecting yourself first.
2006-12-28 14:00:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rule number one (1) in life is and has always been "Never - ever - lie down at work. If you do you had better have another job lined up. Write this off now and either you (or he) needs to take that job you both lined up before you started this farce. You won't be able to work together when this thing goes south. Sorry to be the bearer of one of life's truths.
2006-12-28 14:06:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
not a good idea ,wot r u going 2 talk about if u both work at the same place? if u have an argument u will take it 2 work then home it can b very difficult.
2006-12-28 14:00:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure that you have had many answers already to this question. The majority saying don't do it. This individual still loves his ex as you say and you may not be the replacement. Play it out a lil more and confront him with your true feeling..his response will say it all. Wait it out, don't be in a hurry to do anything.
2006-12-28 13:59:59 · answer #7 · answered by keysram 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT MOVE IN WITH THIS GUY AND BREAK UP WITH HIM! I put that in caps so you would get the message. The man comes with two much baggage. He still loves his ex but is unable to be with her. You watch he moves in with you and will wind up cheating on you with her. Let this man and baggage go and move on to clearer waters. Also why would you want to move in with a man who you know is not in love with you. Clearly he can't love two people at the same time. It is my experience that you should not move in together while you date but rather wait until you get married.
2006-12-28 14:03:00 · answer #8 · answered by ursula_higgs 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two have been dating for a year and he's telling his ex he still loves her, you need to loose this guy NOW.
2006-12-28 13:58:10 · answer #9 · answered by Nina Lee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know for a fact that they've said they still love each other? If so, that's a disaster waiting to happen. You can either hurt now or hurt later, it's up to you.
2006-12-28 13:57:10 · answer #10 · answered by albion53151 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think it's the greatest idea, because if you guys break up it could be nasty and involve the area and those you work with making your employment at said company hell!
2006-12-28 13:57:16 · answer #11 · answered by champagne b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋