has your experiance put you off?

Question

i have one beautiful little boy. although im very happy the thought of any more kids scares me half to death! he was always screaming when he was born and has behaviourial problems because he is a late talker. he's a lot better but if i got pregnant again i dont know what id do! anyone else out there?

Answer 1

Every child is different and with each child you gain more confidence, experience and ways to deal with situations. Are you more unsure about coping with another baby along side your son in general or what if your next child had behavioual problems too? Nothing is sure in life and none more so when it comes to producing a baby. No guarentees of anything so I would suggest you really look into your heart and decide what it is scares you most and make your decision based on that. I personally think it would be a shame to miss out on another child as I think most children benifit from a sibling - but that is purely personal opinion! I have 3 boys and although they don't have behavioual problems they're all full of energy and unique in every way and I cannot imagine life without one of them now even though they can leave you utterly exhausted at the end of the day.
Your son maybe has behavioural problems just now but that might only be short term - who knows what the future might bring. He may end up being the most most doting big brother anyone could want.

Answer 2

Well I have a 2 year old right now and I'm pregnant. So I'll have 2 whether I want to or not. This pregnancy wasn't planned and I'm still not convinced I'm pregnant yet. I know I am, but the connection I felt with my daughter when I was pregnant just isn't there. I haven't cared much to think about names or even browse the baby section.

Before I found out I was pregnant my husband and I were still deciding whether we wanted another one or not. We leaned more to not. I want my daughter to be involved in a lot. Dance, skating, karate and so on. With 2 we will certainly have to be more choosey in what we involve them in. I wish I was rich, but I'm just not.

My daughter and I are really close I'm so affraid I'm going to break her heart when she has to share me. That is probably what bothers me most. She wasn't a hard baby so I'm not turned off that way. I would have been prefectly happy to have just her. She is a gem. Although there is a little sigh of relief that our house hold sleeps through the night I admit. How scary we're going to go do this all over again...

Answer 3

You can never tell what the next child will be like.

My first was a dream - slept all the time, had to be woken for feeds, never cried at all.

My second was the complete opposite - never stopped crying and I had her permanently stuck to me for the first six months - day and night. She nearly drove me out of my mind!

My third was a perfect angel - totally content and never looked for a thing, and a joy to be with.

I guess if you want another child enough, nothing will stop you. You could be lucky and have a really quiet placid baby, or you could have a screamer again! At least next time, you'll have a better idea how to cope, and you could start putting plans in place now to have your little boy out of the house for several hours every day, and set up someone to take a new baby for an hour or two as well, so that you can get plenty of rest!

Good luck with your decision.

Answer 4

I also have a beautiful little boy who has behavioural problems and I have a younger baby. When I got pregnant the second time I didn't really know my oldest had problems until much later. So I was none the wiser. But no I wouldn't change things even knowin what I know now. I'd still want them both. But having a third is not very appealing!

Answer 5

I have 4. Each new pregnancy was scary due to the experiences with the first, or second, or third... whew... I'm done. Every child is different. I had two that were wonderful babies but terrible toddlers, one that cried so much I was afraid he'd hurniate himself, turned into a disassembler as a toddler and is now a perfect angel, and one that has been middle of the road all the way through... If you want another, have one... with the understanding that that one will present it's own new challenges.

Answer 6

Ive got 4 and they are all different my boy was a late talker, i think a lot of boys tend to develop later than girls, i had one girl who screamed most of the time for the first few months, i had sever pnd, she is 5 now and the most intelligent out of all of them and wants to be a surgeon and the other two i didn't really know i had them they were so quiet, go for it!

Answer 7

I have one son and i'd never have another. My son's father walked out when I was pregnant and was really awful so I had no support and since the birth he has flitted in and out making things hard.
My son is colicy and cries ALOT!! I know that no 2 babies are the same but I would not chance it. He is such hard work. And why would someone want to give birth more than once?! Oh my god the pain!! And where is the dignity? haha
But seriously I think it would be selfish of me to have another when I can shower my son with love, my undivided attention and to be honest I would struggle financially if I had another so i'd be stupid to.
Do we really need to have more than one child?

Answer 8

My daughter was a sweet natured baby-but later developed behavioural difficulties and also had a speech delay. We recently discovered she has Foetal Anti-Convulsant Syndrome-caused by the epilepsy medication I took during my pregnancy. So yeah-it has seriously put me having anymore children. My daughter is doing really well,despite it all-but it's taken a lot of hard work to get her this far. There's no way I could give my daughter the attention she needs and have another baby that could possibly have the same syndrome!

Answer 9

I'd have to say no. My first child cried almost constantly as an infant due to lactose intolerance and gas issues. However, as she grew older, I still knew I wanted another child.

In your case, if you cannot stand the thought of having another child, don't beat yourself up about it. Some people learn that after having one child, they could not or would not want to have anymore. There is nothing wrong with that if it's how you feel and it's better than having a second child and resenting them. I wish you the best of luck with your son and hope you follow your heart!

Answer 10

I have an 18 month old and a 33 month old (both boys) and I am DEFINITELY done!! I used to think maybe one more somewhere down the road (once the boys are in school), but I've made up my mind that we have our hands full, we're blessed with two perfectly healthy wonderful little boys, so we should stop while we're ahead! :)