If your b/f wanted to get married in the same place of his first marriage..would you do it?

Question

My b/f and I have talked about marriage. He is currently a member of the local Elks lodge (b/c his father is) and he was married there as well the first time around. He tried, not so hard, to convince me that it’s a nice place to get married; that they have weddings and receptions there all the time. I told him I did not want to get married in the same place he married his ex wife, but that I would be ok with the reception there.

Would you want to marry your b/f or g/f in the same place they married their ex spouse?

just an added detail....this is our 2nd time around. went out in 6th grade and broke up with for a dumb reason (after 2yrs together) and now we are back together after 16yrs...she cheated on him and I know for a fact he is so over her....so that isnt really the issue

Answer 1

3 weddings and he gets a free one?? LOL
I prob would be the same why but I don't think guys put emtions into places like we do. He prob just likes it cause he is a member and it's HIS place..... he isn't thinking about his ex. You on the other are, which doesn't make it a great choice for you. I think by having the reception there, you are meeting him half way.... perhaps use the church angle- to get him off of getting married there. Tell him you really want to get married in a church.

Answer 2

I wouldn't want to get married in the same place.

First and foremost, because I want to get married in place where my husband had only married me. The location can't help but bring up memories of his first wedding, no matter how much he might say it won't. Call me emotional or sentimental or whatever, but this would be absolutely unacceptable. Same goes for the reception.

Other, secondary reasons: I wouldn't want friends/family members who attended the first wedding to be making comparisons: "Oh, remember when Bryan got married here the first time, there were those lovely candles on the tables..."

Finally, I think there are so many other options to have a lovely ceremony other than an Elks lodge. Not to sound snotty, but an Elks lodge just has a "guy" kind of feel to it... It wouldn't even necessarily need to be at a church. How about a pretty setting in a park? The home of a friend or family member?

Best of luck for a beautiful, UNIQUE, wedding and a happy marriage!

Answer 3

Is she doing this to have a great-lovable great-spectacular double wedding ceremony? Is she an insecure person who should be the centre of interest and in basic terms can no longer enable you have your person day? the two way (or the different reason) you may communicate over together with her, see if that's something she is actual dedicated to and greater importantly why she is doing it. understanding her motivation will inform you what you may do by using fact the subsequent step. If she needs a lovable double-wedding ceremony, then tell her you go with for this to be between you & your fiancee, no longer you and yet another couple, no rely who that couple is. If she in basic terms should be the centre of interest then you certainly could see in case you could persuade her that she'd get greater interest together with her very own wedding ceremony (civil ceremony or otherwise). If she is one in each of those individuals who's in basic terms thoroughly unreasonable then which you should to contemplate changing the date of your wedding ceremony (or the time) and not tell her so she would not have an excellent gamble to alter hers. you're the two adults, if she would be able to't act like one, you may do it for the the two one in each of you.

Answer 4

It is supposed to be a day for both of you. You came up with a good compromise by having the reception there. It seems like a better idea anyway. Unless it is my guy's church, I would not want to be married in the same place he married his former spouse. It would be too weird for me, our family and friends. Good Luck and God Bless!!

Answer 5

I don't think I would be comfortable getting married there because the memory of the previous wedding would be on my mind. I think I would explain to him how I felt. I would not want to have the reception there either.

Answer 6

No way that I would. Find another place that you would feel comfortable being in. Why would anyone want to get married again in the same place that they were married the first time?

Answer 7

THIS IS GOING TO SOUND UNORTHODOX.

my first impulse is to say NOOOOOOOOO

but then again, by marrying your sweetie at the SAME PLACE, you are in effect "ERASING" the prior memory.

Henceforth, all associations to the Elks lodge will be indelibly etched to YOUR memory, NOT THE EX.....

Answer 8

I wouldn't, that sounds like it could be really awkward. I would kindly say that any other place would be good, but you would really not be comfortable being married there. I say it's bad karma. Aren't either of you connected to a church? If so, get married there. If not, maybe try to find another place.

Answer 9

I wouldn't be able to do it. I would want to go somewhere else because the people who were at the first wedding will be comparing the two weddings. I would be anyways...

Answer 10

HELL NO!!!!!!!!!!

it is suppose to be ur's and his day not... his and hers.. if he is that shallow of a person well then i would think he is still stuck on his 1st wife and maybe the plans need to be held back awhile till he gets over her.....unless he is just that clueless of a guy to not even think like that...but i know i would want my own memories of him with me not him me and her!