10 month old ALWAYS crying... suggestions PLEASE?

Question

I have a 10 month old that crys ALL the time~ He just wants to be held-by me. It's so frustrating for me. Sometimes my mom will offer to watch him and once I call and check on them she says "Oh he's fine he has been sitting in the floor playing the whole time" The moment I get over there to get them (I also have a three yr old) he starts screaming for me to pick him up. I talked to my pediatrician about it and he said that I will have to let him just cry it out ..so one night my husband sat in the boy's room with them and I came into the living room and put on a pair of headphones (I can't stand to listen to him just cry). We did this for 2 HOURS!!! And he was still crying. I have never seen such a stubborn child!! I love him dearly and I am glad that he obviously loves me so much but... how am I suppose to get anything done? My husband works 12 hrs a day while I stay at home with the kids. I would love for him to at least once be able to come home to a cooked meal or a half way clean house! This morning he had no clean socks and I felt AWFUL but here I am again ...sitting here holding my youngest and not getting things done! I even try to sit in the floor and play with him and that doesn't work unless he is in my lap. Just this past week it has gotten even worse. Before he would at least sit in his high chair at lunch and eat but now he won't even do that. Even my three year old is starting to get frustrated when my husband came in last night he said "daddy .. he crys and crys and crys!!" How do you entertain your children while you are busy? My oldest sits and plays with his trains and cars .. always has. But I can't seem to find anything to keep the baby happy!? Suggestions will be GREATLY appreciated! --by the way I am positive that there is nothing wrong with him because the minute I pick him up he stops crying. And he is good if I am not around.

Answer 1

Alright so heres the deal my 16 month old daughter started doing that right around the same time as your baby...and what I did was if I was cleaning..I would put music on and dance around the house and when she seen that it was fun shed dance too and Id be able to get the house clean a dinner on the table...also another thing that worked for us was I would put her high chair by the kitchen sink while I was washing dishes and in the empty side of the sink I would put warm water and her bath soap and let her play in the bubbles...sure it got everywhere but she was happy and so was I


Good luck I hope these suggestions help

Answer 2

Try to let his daddy do a few things for him for a few days, especially if he could do either the getting up with him in the morning, or putting him to bed at night. I am a stay at home mom of 4, and only one of my children had separation anxiety this bad. He was used to me do everything for him and did not think anyone one else could care for him. So his daddy started to change more diapers when he was at home and to put him to bed at night, easier with my husbands work schedule. It was hard at first, he would cry and reach for me if he saw me, but after a few days it got much better. He realized others would make sure his needs got met also, but he is still a little more clingy than the other 3 were. He is also very stubborn and does not like change. He is almost 13 months and I am having trouble getting him to take milk out of a sippy cup. He will drink juice out of a sippy cup, but has never gotten juice in a bottle and he will only use one kind of cup. I have tried all sorts of cups for milk and offer it only in a cup during the day and he still won't take it. So you might have a stubborn baby who does not like change. I would do things gradule and while you can't hold him all the time, do give him his snuggle time. He will be running away from you to play with his brother soon enough. So as long as he can let you go long enough so you have clean clothes, clean dishes, and can get everyone feed don't worry if your house is cluttered or a little dirty. You also might want to try a sling, or front or back baby carrier. He will be a little heavy but you could get some stuff done, and work out at the same time. The breast feeding sling worked best for me, because there was nothing in between him and me. There is also a lot of different ways you can sit an older child in one of those, and you can easily move them into a reclining position if they fall asleep while being toted around. Good Luck. ps remember brother needs time with you too.

Answer 3

Oh, this sounds very stressful for you! I think God gives you 2nd children to show you how little you really know about kids after having one!

First, determine if there are any physical reasons why he may be acting this way. Is he maybe teething? My daughter is 12 months, she just went through a phase exactly like this - she cried at the drop of a hat, she refused to go to anyone but me when I was around, she just wanted to sit in my lap and moan. We dealt with the tooth pain and she became less needy.

Second, look for emotional reasons why he is acting this way. If he truly is only crying and upset when you are around, then it seems this is a form of trying to get you to do what he wants. If you do not want him to cry and carry on when you dont pick him up, then you need to show him that that type of behavior does not work to get what he wants. And then you need to stick to it.

My daughter is also a kid that just wants to be held a lot. I always remember that this stage goes away fast and there will be days in 10 years when I will wish I could hold her again. And I try to remember that the housework and the cooking are not my priority - I am not a housewife. I am a mom. Those are 2 different things.

I have also learned ways to get things done and acommodate my daughters need to be around me. I have a cupboard in the kitchen with fun "toys" that she can play with while I'm making dinner; I often sit her on the counter while I get ready in the morning (never leaving her side of course); and I try to make the first few minutes after I get home all about her.

Answer 4

Is he teething? Sometimes when they're teething, they'll be good for everybody else, but cry for mommy when she's around because they want the comfort. You really need to stop picking him up or it's not going to get any better. Try finding him a cartoon character to watch on tv that sparks his interest. Atleast for an hour a day. Being negative about letting anything work to help your little one stop crying is going to be your biggest obstacle. Try being positive about the situation. Set a plan and a routine to help you get organised. Not having things done around the house is not helping your stress level and could be affecting the patience you have with getting a handle on the crying one.

Answer 5

Oh my God!! I thought I was the only one. I have an 11 month old who acts exactly the same way! He does not get tired of crying and will go on for hours. As much as it hurts me, I have gotten to the point where I will place him in the crib and shut the door. I quietly do random checks of course to make sure everything is alright. You know what, I think he is actually getting the point. He will sit for short whiles by himself. Hey, its a start from where he refused even a minute alone. You may want to try it!

Answer 6

I'm so sorry it's hard. Just remember that this too will pass. They grow up so quickly. I'm a work-at-home mom with an infant who has a little separation anxiety as well.

Separation anxiety is at its all-time high between 10 & 18 months, so it sounds like your son just misses you a lot. While flattering, and probably the only time in his life he will want you sooo darned badly, it IS hard to get things done.

Maybe you can try giving him a stuffed animal or blanket that you kiss for him. Or give him the t-shirt you're wearing so he'll feel your warmth and smell your scent.

Answer 7

I'm so sorry but all I can do is laugh at your question. My son has gone through several phases where he'll go to sleep just fine every night for a couple of months... then on the flip side he'll cry for at least a half hour before finally falling asleep. His most current phase at 23 1/2 months has provided 6 weeks of him crawling out of his crib, opening his bedroom door and running through the house. We bought door knob covers shortly thereafter, which provided little relief. For the last 6 weeks I've spent 2-3 hours every night standing outside his bedroom door puting him back in bed hundreds of times before he finally colapses for the night... at least so I thought. Now he's waking up anywhere between 1 and 3 AM and crying, making my only option to put him in bed with me, which is a new-found feat since he tosses and turns, head-butts and smacks me for a while before he finally falls back into a deep sleep. All you can do at this point is to make sure that your son is accostumed to his bedtime schedule. Make sure that you do everything in the same order and at the same time every night leading up to bedtime (i.e. dinner, bath, story time, bed... this deviates from the orginal 3 B's "bath, bottle, bed" for their first year). Also, be sure not to include any exciting activities in your schedule two hours before bedtime. Remember, bed time is the time for "winding down," this includes any sugary foods or drinks!

Answer 8

Sounds like baby has trained you very well with his separation anxiety. The issue is you picking him up every time he cries. Baby will have to learn that he is o.k. when you aren't holding him and this will just take time. Tell baby you have work in another room and reassure him you'll come back, leave him and go into another room for a couple of minutes and let him cry. Then go back and spend some time with him. Repeat over and over, slowly extending the time you're away. And don't cave. He'll eventually realize that he's o.k. and you'll come back to him.

Answer 9

I know its hard but dont pick him up as soon as he starts crying. Talk to him and show him toys. Play with the toys and look like you are really having fun. then let him try, it takes a long time to break him of it but soon he will be able to soothe himself and that is an important skill. Good luck!

Answer 10

I'm going to have to agree with Las Vegas. My twins know that when I say be quiet, that means be quiet. When they got to the age where they understood what be quiet meant, then they had to abide by it or else. I mean, who's really in charge? I felt like if they were in charge, then they needed to go out and get a job and help pay some bills. Otherwise, my house needs to be just the way I say it should be. Everyone in it needs to be obedient to me.