I've got a relative coming over in 5 minutes and she is 70 something and all she does is whine about me.
2006-12-28 04:30:04 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
When she is rude to you, look shocked, and say softly, "Is there something in my manner that is causing you to be rude to me?"
Hopefully this will shock HER into realizing her unacceptable behavior, and she'll apologise and good relations can be restored.
Good luck!
2006-12-28 04:51:09 · answer #1 · answered by Honey W 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"Like crude" What does that mean? Like you are crude oil? Are you saying she is rude and crass?
There is nothing you can do about a rude older relative. Our elders think they know better than we do because they have lived longer. They're right...they do know more.
You are letting her get under your skin. Do you, deep inside, feel bad about yourself because you know that her criticism is spot on? She's right, your shoes are ugly? It is tacky that you have tatoos all over your face? That your pants are so low and so tight the rest of the world has to look at the crack in your *** every time you sit down (this is NOT sexy) or we are forced to look at that roll of fat (muffin top) that escapes the top of your pants and the bottom of your shirt? Is she focusing on how your hair looks like you groomed it with an eggbeater? Or that you don't have a job, have never held a job and you just hang out w/ your thug boyfriends all day and night? That you kick over garbage cans at night for fun? You're shooting heroin? Selling crack? Dating a pusher? Listening to loud rap songs where women are only referred to as ho's? Are you acting like a ho? Are you dating a guy who beats you up and then forgive him when he says he's sorry for the 90th time? Did you drop out of school because it was 'boring'? Do you mooch money and never pay it back? Do you act like a self-absorbed, shallow, vain teenager?
If you are doing any of these things with the mistaken impression that they are "cool" then she is right to give you a hard time.
If you aren't acting like an idiot, ignore her whining. Change the subject to something that is easier to whine about...say the weather, or politics or the dog.
2006-12-28 12:42:30 · answer #2 · answered by krinkn 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Uh, no. Anyone who treats you with no respect shouldn't be allowed to visit, I don't care if they are a relative. I'm forced many times to let my 81 year old mother have it right between the eyes. As I'm pushing 60, I can get away with it. She hurt me for to many years, and I've told her no more.
Besides she lives in Florida and I'm in Delaware.
Just very nicely tell them once and once only that they are NOT to treat you with anything other than respect. If they can't deal with that, then they can leave and not return.
Hope this helps.
Age is not an excuse.
2006-12-28 12:38:36 · answer #3 · answered by Barry 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Theory #1:
A lot of the times the elderly people are just lonely. In their life time a lot of their friends and family have passed away. Maybe she just wants somebody to whine about to make her feel better. Yes...very strange, but it could be true.
Theory #2:
You are doing things worth wining about. This may be hard to hear, but she is older, and she has experienced many of the things you have, so why not listen to her for once?
Theory #3:
She obviously wants to be rude, and you don't know how long she will live. You could=
A. Just have fun with it, and give her reason to whine.
B. Smile at her and make her confused of your happiness.
C. Look her in the eye and say, "Look, I don't know what it is, but I am tired of you telling me off, could you just stop and enjoy the life with me that you have? If not...don't even talk to me."
Whatever the theory, there is always an answer, on theory three, I highley recommend letter "B", it is fun to use, and she will just get tired of your happiness and stop bugging you. She may even say, "Stop that smilin' of yours! Your making me feel happy, which is tearing up my personality!" Lol...good luck with your reletive!
-Azooga-
2006-12-28 12:51:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Tell her to go home until she can be civil and act like it. If she can't then don't allow her back into your home, your the one who is paying the bills not her. You do not need to be drug through the crap every few minutes just to make her ego feel good. No one needs that. She does not have the right to judge you she is not the god of judges. Someone with higher power is. Good luck.
2006-12-28 13:47:20 · answer #5 · answered by twentyeight7 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you tell her how you feel? Tell you she makes you feel bad about yourself and that you don't want to be around her because of it. if she gets nastier, ask her to leave. Old age does not give anyone the right to be rude. If anything, at her age she should know better. Maybe she needs a reminder. Good luck.
2006-12-28 12:45:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
you need to understand that one she is old, two she is set in her ways. when she does this just smile and nodd and remember enjoy the time you have because she may not be with you long.SMILE!! things will be fine.
2006-12-28 12:33:47 · answer #7 · answered by here to help 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Try to ask her why she is continually rude to you and why does she always have to complain about you.
2006-12-28 12:45:21 · answer #8 · answered by MusicWoman 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to be quiet and if she can't say anything nice to leave.
2006-12-28 12:32:16 · answer #9 · answered by Jodi C 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
well- tell her to s hut the f uck up!
2006-12-28 12:46:01 · answer #10 · answered by Cheesy Stuff 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋