i only found out 2 months ago my boyfriend has a mobile phone which he says is an extra one he keeps at work and that he is not the only one who uses it. i have got the number(which i dont think he realises that i have)so i rang it again and witheld the number,he answered it again. he never brings it home i think he is hiding something.he has 2 main mobys one which just recently he has started to leave at home i found a message on it from an old girl-friend it was sent christmas night at 11.30 which was three days ago. im really fed up of feeling that he isnt sharing things with me.dont want to argue with him and i have told him in the past that i just want him to be straight with me and stop keeping things from me.and now we are back to square one, me always finding things out some advice is needed please.
2006-12-28 04:29:07 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
has he given you any reason not to trust him? if you were my girlfriend, i'd be ticked off if i found out you were going all covert behind my back. all you can do is confront him on these things and expect him to go through the roof. when he gives you the explanations of what these things are, you'll have the option to accept this or reject it. if you can't trust your boyfriend, then you can't really have a relationship.
2006-12-28 04:40:58 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Interesting puzzle here - how you managed to find out about the other phone, and why you are reading his texts. I can only assume that you have had other reasons to suspect his infidelity and have gone all-out to find further evidence. The thing is, that if you set out to do this, you will indeed find 'evidence' to validate your suspicions. I am not at all sure that your boyfriend is having an affair or anything else, based on what you have told us. Do you have other cause for suspicion? If so, then maybe - as it stands, I would think very, very carefully before even mentioning any of this to him as you run the risk of looking like an jealous obsessive.
If, however, you feel you have enough to go on, then confront him in a calm and encouraging way to talk to you about what is happening in your relationship. Despite what people tell you, if there is enough love on both sides, couple can and do recover from infidelity.
It would be wrong to just get up and leave, without even giving him the opportunity to try to talk things through with you.
2006-12-28 13:07:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok first of all-my man has 3 phones all of which I kno about and he hides nothing-this guy sounds lyk he is keepin somthin but u cant jus jump to conclusions. Ask him to come clean about it-I dont particularly agree with keepin in contact with ex's. dont argue with him or accuse him-jus keep ur cool and ask him what is going on. Let him know how it makes you feel and find out why he never told you about it in the first place-if he isn't hiding anything then why didn't you know about it? all I can say is, you need to sort it out because trust is def a big issue in a relationship. Hope it works out ok for you...
2006-12-28 14:28:11 · answer #3 · answered by Tiara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh dear the only reason men or woman have 2 mobile phones is so when they are out of the house the secret 1 gets switched on and just before he returns home he switches back off again,he is defo cheating on you hunni if he aint he is about 2 ditch the **** and find a nice fella good luck xxx
2006-12-28 12:35:12 · answer #4 · answered by robertboozychic 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur question is good but there will be no one giving an answer
i ask myself often too why people lie but its nothing i can do to change them
anyway , u say that u dont want to argue but there is no other way , or u will live with the lies or u will confront him with them and for sure there will be argue
its up to u if u want to hide urself or being honest
2006-12-28 12:45:34 · answer #5 · answered by athina68 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a secret phone once. And not for a good purpose. You better get to the bottom of it. Just don't drive yourself crazy. Dump him if you really start to feel he is showing a pattern of dishonesty.
2006-12-28 12:36:10 · answer #6 · answered by kayaress 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him about it. Tell him you know about the phone.
See what he says.
If he continues, leave. You dont need this, and you shouldnt be in a relationship where you constantly have to guess if he's faithful or not.
2006-12-28 12:33:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
dump him, he obviously has the mobile phone as a way to keep up with whoever else he is seeing while he is away from you, if he is willing to hide the fact that he is getting messages from an ex girlfriend then what else wont he hide from you.....
2006-12-28 12:55:49 · answer #8 · answered by MidnightSkies 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dont seem like something you should be worried about, he's got 2 phones, one for home, one for work...no problem there. so what if his ex-girl left him a message, i talk to ex's all the time, that doesn't mean i want to be back together with them. it just shows friendship. most likely, the phone he doesn't like you to see, is something he just wants for privacy. looks like you really care about him, but you cross the boundaries of privacy and sharing a LITTLE too much.
2006-12-28 12:34:09 · answer #9 · answered by Johnnyboy 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sounds pretty shady hun. My sister' husband has always been secretive, then in february, she found out he has been cheating on her for a long time with a few people. She found out by his e mails. Be careful, if i were you i would end it.
2006-12-28 12:38:28 · answer #10 · answered by mozartbuffy69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋