Just wondering how many mothers have a daughter who can't stand them no matter how much you try???!!!?

Question

I mean I have poured everything into my daughter since birth. I could have given her up at birth, but I wanted to see if I could make a difference. After three years of struggling I met a wonderful man and married him, my soul mate!!! She hated him from day one even though he blessed her with everything. She made things really difficult between us especially when her two brothers came. She accused me of not loving her as much even though I assured her everything I was doing for them I had done for even better. Her clothes for infant life came from the finest stores theirs came from Wal Mart, her toys were store bought theirs sometime Garage sales, but even though she thinks in her Senior Year that we should sacrifice everything; so that she can have the finest of everything; because of her added stress I looked to alcohol for some relief, and she went and told the world I was an alcoholic. I find myself wanting her to finish school and just get out!!! I don't know this child!!!

Some of you have said terrible mother; maybe so. I have tried to take her places do different things with her, but here lately even my sons ask me mother why do you keep trying when she continues to treat you so bad?? Even though she has told her friends various things about me some of them have seen her (TRUE) side and have expressed that life with me would be alright with them. In fact a couple of her friends that have moved out because of certain draastic issues have come to me to talk. If I can reach other teens why not my own. She puts me down in front of others; because I do not know fashion. It is not that I do not know fashion, I can not afford fashion sacrificing for her. She says I should let my hair grow out, but who has time running errands for her and last minute plans that she procrastintes about throwing my world upside down. I do love my daughter and I have always loved her, but God says turn the other cheeck I have turned hundreds with her comments. LOST!!!!!!

Answer 1

First let me say I was a daughter who treated her mom badly and now years later we are best friends. That does not mean that we don't work each others last nerve. Now I'm going to give you a little tough love so hang in there.

You may find that your daughter wanted you all to herself and you took that away when you fell in love. She has not gotten over her anger at you for making her share you with a husband and 2 son's. You were hers and hers alone. Now you are spoiling her and creating a monster, have you heard yourself? You buy for her but slight your boys, that is a no no. Your making your boys pay for something they can't control. Stop the madness and sit her down and tell her that she can be mad as she wants to be at you for how ever long but that when she gets over it you will still love her with all your heart. But she will need to get over herself because you can't keep up the I love you.. I hate you game anymore.

Who is the parent here, your daughter knows how to manipulate you and you allow it. No one can come between you and your husband unless you let it happen. It's because of all these things she does not respect you and you are the only one that can change it.

On another subject, you drink because you choose to, she (your daughter) nor anyone else drove you to it, stress or not. Stop making excuses about the drinking and do something about it if you have a problem, which you made it sound like you do.

I don't know what you look like but if your attractive then your daughter may also have a insecurity about her looks, teen age girls have awkward stages too and they tend to be jealous of their attractive mom's, sister's etc.

Want your daughter to love and respect you? Stand up and show her what a strong woman, mother and friend you can be without the material things. Give her your love and when needed a swift kick in the pants. You're forming a woman that some one will one day love and may possibly br someone's Mom one day. How do you want to see it turn out?

Answer 2

look she does not need the finest this and the best that. What she does need is you to spend some time with her, Go out together forgot the man sometimes and do things together. she was their before all the others so i expect she is a little jealous. tell her you love her and hug her eveyday. try to ignore her remarks. Don,t always give her her own way. Sounds to me like she sends you on a guilt trip, dont, let her. talk and listen to her more. Its never to let you dont, want her leaving home and not bovering with you again. Give her praise and encouragement. Why do you say you could of given her away, did you not want her, its not her fault she is not wanted. She was just an innocient children. dont, blame her for things in the past, she is genetically half of you the same as the others. all the best. Get a good childcare book. concentragte on the positives. all the best
It was never meant to be easy being a parent.

Answer 3

If your daughter has heard this same story come out of your mouth--no wonder! We can't possibly know what kind of mother you are just by this short narrative, but I can tell you if she hears this stuff on a regular basis the two of you will continue to have problems.

I have a 16 yr. old daughter. Very rarely does she show how much she loves her family or how much she feels loved. It's really hard to see through the hormonal fog! Just remind her as often as you can how much you do love her and try to focus on that instead of material things.

And I hope as a mother you would never tell a child you thought of giving them up, especially in anger!

Answer 4

You do know her very well, she is still your little baby, the most beautiful baby in the whole world. Do not give up in loving your daughter despite her naughtyness. Two wrong can never make a right. Be patient with her till she can be old enough to be on her own. Some times people may not know what they have till it's taken away from them.

Do not forget to tell her that you love her and creat opportunity for both of you to spend time alone with each other. She surely maybe missing you so much and rebelling about it. Both of you are gifts to each other. You are not alone and know that you are one of the most wonderful mother in the whole world.

Answer 5

Stay away from the alcohol. Children learn from the examples we set. If you have given her the finer things all her life, she is going to expect them. Tell her that if she wants these things now, she has to earn her own money, the SAME WAY you and your husband do, to provide the things the family needs. If she doesn't like it, then tell her thats her problem. You are not a bank and that she is an adult now and has to learn to take care of herself, and that time is now.

I have 2 daughters ages 6 and 16 months and currently 20 weeks pregnant. My oldest daughter works to get the things she wants, I want her to know that money doesn't grow on trees and that you have to work for what you want. Teaching children this early on, lets them know, you won't get served on a silver platter, unless you earn it yourself. **Good luck and stick it to her. She is not going to like it, but you have to put your foot down at some point, and the early the better**

Answer 6

I guarantee you it is a huge amount for children these days dont see the danger till when it is too late, so they refuse to listen to their parents because they presume they know it all and parents are old fashioned, every parent would dearly love to see their daughters held their head up high but when the parent give the caution, they turn it the other way and get offend which somes turn in to terrible hate and more.

Answer 7

most mothers have daughters like that I think

normal I think

it was in my family

if she gets a job that will be few less hours you will have to deal with her and then she can buy the things she wants. She will need like $20K a year for clothing to compensate for the garage sale item trauma. My wife is like that.

Get a little more alcohol, watch a movie, relax, tell her you love her, help her get into a good school

Answer 8

Just keep on loving her.

See if she will do some counciling. maybe it would help if she could talk with some one. You never know. My daughter gets on my nerves from time to time. I think it's because we are so much alike.

Your daughter sounds like she has some issues she needs to talk about.

Good luck!

Answer 9

I know it's difficult.And you probably feel terrible.She is a teenager now,right?You know,there is one book which can help you.It's "Positive Discipline for Teenagers" by Jane Nelsen.You have nothing to lose if you try at least.Buy it,read it and see if it's worth.I think it can change your life and your daughter's life and really contribute for your relationship.There is a site which you can check if you want,it's giving more information and you can ask questions there:)
http://positivediscipline.com/

Answer 10

I would suggest spending more time with her, setting time aside to spend together doing anything at all-have lunch, go window shopping, attend a class, anything. Show an interest in the things she's interested in. Be observant of her moods and be a good listener when she needs one.