I've been dating someone since this past summer. I'll admit things got pretty serious pretty quickly. On Sunday she said we needed to talk about "us." She said she needs space. She still loves me and her feelings haven't changed, but she just needs space to figure things out right now. I asked if she was dumping me, and she said no. We were talking about getting a dog, living together when my current lease is up, and going on a trip this spring/summer. I'm so confused. If she loves me and her feelings haven't changed, why would she do this? I flat out asked if she had cheated on me, and she said no. She'd been REALLY hurt in the past when someone cheated on her, so I don't think that's really an option. Is it possible she's just scared because we've moved so quickly? What do I do? Do I sit back and wait for her to come back to me or do I still call and text her so she'll know I'm still interested?
2006-12-28 04:15:41 · 13 answers · asked by Sarah S 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I do plan on giving her space. To a certain extent, it's a catch 22. I don't want her to think I'm not interested, but I don't want to bombard her. I have NO problem with slowing down and not discussing things WAY down the road. I'll give her space. It's just confusing because she'll still call me. We haven't exchanged Christmas presents yet, but she wanted me to know she still wanted me to have what she got me. I'll do whatever she wants me to do, but I don't want to come across and too needy and pathetic. I love her, but I don't want to appear as someone who can be walked all over.
2006-12-28 04:40:48 · update #1
She said she isn't dumping you. I think she realized that it isn't wise for things to move this fast. Talk to her and ask her how she wants to define the relationship - are the two of you still a couple? She will know you are interested if you ask her that, but dont come on too strong or she may run away.
You can even make a plan to reevaluate living together, say a year down the road. That can give you some security while giving her the time she needs before taking such a big step.
Oh, you can still take the trip by the way! See if she still wants to go.
2006-12-28 04:19:48 · answer #1 · answered by ÜFÖ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I didn't even read your whole story but i know, there is no such thing as space.
I'm a chick and when i say i need space from a guy, i really mean ''back off ...i'm not in love with you and the space is the time i need to get over the gulity feeling i have for hurting your feelings"
When i am in love, I couldn't get enough of that person.
When my eyes and heart become hungry ..I need to be free... I need SPACE
But this is just my opinion.
Relationships are like everything else in your life, you live and learn from them. They can make you a better lover or a softer kisser. It can make you cold or heartless. Love is a battlefield. Love is all your options and all your strength. It can lift you up and crush you down. Love is something we want, need and have to give and don't want to live without it.
Fly blue bird...there are more chicks in the world
2006-12-28 04:25:41 · answer #2 · answered by Lovefly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've only been going out a few months and you're already talking about moving in? Ask yourself this, who's doing the talking about the moving in thing? Instead of talking about moving in, ask her about it. Ask her, and LISTEN to her answer, "Do you think maybe it's a little soon to be thinking about moving in together?" I need some space could be her telling you that she's not ready for that. Don't lose sight of the fact that she's more important then your current lease being up. After all leases can be broken.
Consider this your first lesson in womaneese. :)
P.S. Hey Lovefly, I think I fell in love with you just reading your comment. ;) My sentiment exactly, love is about fun! when the fun turns into something else, love goes right out the door with it. One thumbs up for you!
2006-12-28 04:28:16 · answer #3 · answered by albion53151 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be patient with her, she is trying to sort out her feelings and maybe things did go to fast for her and she just wants to process and think about everything...thats ok....let her...if you push her it may cause her to walk away...and I am sure you don't want that...let her know you care, and want to talk when she is ready, and I am sure if she has been cheated on she knows how it feels so don't panic and think thats what it is....just breathe and wait it out a little....(but not too long...you need to move on if it takes too long....I am sure if she wants to continue with you ....she'll come around in no time)
2006-12-28 04:22:32 · answer #4 · answered by zeekandthefam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she asked for space them u give it to her. but let her know that u wil always be there. things were just moving to fast and she probably has to think things out. so relaaax....and yes sit back and wait for her to come.
Now i did u a favor of advise do the same thanx!!
2006-12-28 04:21:06 · answer #5 · answered by Upgraded Beauty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people need space to themselves. You can't stay "together" 24/7 with anyone and not feel "trapped" You have to have some privacy as well. Just give her time to sort things out. Sometimes you just have to have quiet time away from other people......... Hang in there dude........
2006-12-28 04:19:29 · answer #6 · answered by Missledtngirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her some space & see what happens... There's nothing else you can do... If you refuse to give her that and you're up her *** 24/7 she's going find this as a great reason to dump you and you'll only have yourself to blame...
2006-12-28 04:18:19 · answer #7 · answered by I wanna have a midget :) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
look, this girl of your is really afriad because she has been hurt in the past and doesn't want to get hurt again. She still loves you but wants to take things slower. ask her if she wants to go more slowly and she what she says. just relax and call and text her to make sure that she still knows that your intresetd.
2006-12-28 04:20:34 · answer #8 · answered by madsion 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
girls who say they need space...really do need space. dont go too fast and text her right away...if this all started sunday of this week...maybe wait till the earliest of saturday to text or w/e the hell you want to do. but dont be so worried, her saying she needs space is not telling you that she wants to break up, she is just tryin to get room in her head most likely, cuz if it was so fast, she wants to get it all to sink in. my advice, make sure she dont feel rushed the next time you DO talk to her.
2006-12-28 04:23:03 · answer #9 · answered by Johnnyboy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she probably just needs some space. just give it to her. its really hard to not think that the outcome will be bad, but if you love her just do as she ask and i'm pretty sure she should come around.
2006-12-28 04:19:23 · answer #10 · answered by Dory Ian 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋