I have been with the same girl for 6 years now and we have been through a lot, we are now engaed and living togher for the last 6 months. I love her with all my heart and I know this because I forgave her for cheating on me a few years back. It was a situation were I was not paying enough attention and she needed attention, but we made it, and are stronger now. But now I have everyone in the world asking me when we are getting married and her parents wont fork over the money for the wedding she wants. It makes me feel like I am not good enough for there daughter, they say they want to make sure I can hold a job, but things are going well for us right now and I want to be married. How do I convince her parents to let us marry, or convince her to get her parents to pay for the wedding. Or should I just let things take the course the are heading. We have been engaed for a year now and I want to be married. Please help
2006-12-28 03:52:25 · 14 answers · asked by simsad31 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Sounds like your frustrations with your future-in-laws have to do with money. I am sure that this is putting a lot of pressure on your relationships (with the parents and your fiance). Talk to your fiance if you both want to get married now, then compromise on the wedding arrangements and do the wedding for something that the two of you can afford and if her parents help out then great, but don't count on them for financial support. Congrats and good luck.
2006-12-28 04:31:37 · answer #1 · answered by skittle 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your best bet would be to have the kind of wedding that you and your fiance can afford. Don't take a dime from her parents!
This will show them that you can stand on your own, and won't need to come crawling to them when either of you want something. This means a lot more than whether you can earn enough money to pay for a big society wedding.
If your fiance has her heart set on a certain type of wedding, you're going to need to talk with her about this. What means more to her, being married to you and sharing your lives, or having a huge wedding?
2006-12-28 04:20:07 · answer #2 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is not the 60's, 70's or 80's! Pay for your own wedding! What is the need for having a big spectacular wedding anyway? Love is what matters, you can get married at city hall and have a bigger and better reception. You could ask your clergyman/woman to marry you at your favorite local and instead of a reception, go on a nice honeymoon. Her parents owe you or her nothing. If you both want to get married, do it and let the years down the line show it was meant to be.
2006-12-28 04:05:17 · answer #3 · answered by notnew2U 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If her parents won't pay for a wedding, and you and your fiance are unwilling or unable to pay for the wedding yourselves, then you should just elope.
Many young couples these days are paying for their own weddings without help from their parents. I think it's really disgusting that this day in age you are expecting her parents to pay for everything. If the delay in your marriage is being caused by your stinginess and inability to pay for a wedding yourselves, then you have a really big problem and I'm not sure that either of you are mature enough to actually be married. Your wedding doesn't have to be huge - just family and a few close friends at City Hall. It doesn't cost a whole lot to get a marriage license.
2006-12-28 04:06:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you two are intellectually and emotionally ready to be married; and, most importantly are of age, go ahead and marry.
Marriage of course is a lot more than just being in love with someone. I hope you and she have discussed all those hard questions that need to be discussed before marriage: Do you want kids? If so, when? What religion (if any) you plan to raise the kids in? Do you want to attend church yourself? Do you expect her to attend with you? How you feel about spending or saving (is she a saver and you a spender? or vice versa?) What are your career goals? What are hers? What sort of place would you like to live? (apt? flat? house? duplex? mansion?) Can you stand to ask directions when you are lost? Can she? Do you like to talk through problems? Or do you prefer to sort things out on your own? Does it drive you nuts that she throws things when she is angry? What will you do if she decides to stray again? What will she do if you decide to try someone else? Will you have joint finances or keep your checking accounts separate? How much debt do you each feel comfortable carrying?
If you feel like you have thoroughly explored these, not very sexy but very necessary issues with your partner and you are still willing to marry her - go for it. Do not wait for her parents to pay for it. Readjust your expectations of the ceremony or party. You don't have to spend like Princess Diana to have a good time.
Paying for a child's wedding is voluntary; not a law. Your future in-laws, have no obligation to "fork over" any money for a wedding.
I can understand your frustration over the intractability of your future in-laws right now. To improve their impression of you you can take good care of their daughter: love and honor her, work hard and make career plans that you and she both can live with. This is no guarantee they'll ever approve - some parents are just like that. But, it does mean you own marriage will be strong and healthy.
2006-12-28 04:28:43 · answer #5 · answered by krinkn 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pay for your own wedding. If they want to pitch in afterwards then ok, but you should NOT be expecting anyone but you and your fiance to pay for the wedding.
You don't need to convince them to let you two marry. Go to a justice of the peace and get married, then save up for a better wedding/reception if you want.
2006-12-28 04:27:25 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go and get married, you dont need a big wedding. Get the license and the judge will marry you. Or you can pay for the wedding yourself. Quit crying you sound like a girl.
2006-12-28 03:57:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you want to get married it should be your responsibliity to pay for your own wedding. I think it is always considered a gift if anyone else pays including the parents. If you really want to get married you will do what it takes to pay for your wedding.
2006-12-28 04:21:00 · answer #8 · answered by roadrunner316 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No one is stopping you from getting married but you. All you need is a license and a preacher to perform the ceremony. You can go to las Vegas and get married by Elvis. Get married, elope do what you must. The big ceremony is for the family. Don't use the family as an excuse. if they want they can pay for it, and if they chose not to do so, then show some initiative and just do it. If she loves you, she'll understand.
2006-12-28 04:12:11 · answer #9 · answered by Neptune 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If she is of consenting age to marry you, why not pay for the wedding yourself if you are financially able? The "tradition" that a bride's parents pay for the wedding is not the norm today.
But if you wish to have her parent's blessing before you marry, you still have some things to prove to her family. If you are truly in love, respecting her parents skepticism and proving your are "ready" will only strengthen your bond with your fiancee` AND her parents.
Best of luck to you both!
2006-12-28 03:59:51 · answer #10 · answered by BB 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋