Is this father abusive?

Question

My gf father tells her things like "you should use more tanning lotion to look better", or "your belly is like that of a trucker" or "you have boxer shoulders", or "you shouldn't eat that much so you don't get fatter".He demands that she "look good" when they go places. He told her to fix herself up one day when he took her to a party with his co-workers. Now she is very beautiful. She is a little chubby, but she isn't fat and I frankly don't find any flaws on her and love her to death.She is attached to her dad and will probably end this relationship eventually because he says no. She keeps telling me that he is a nice guy. Wtf!!! She also thinks he is very handsome, but he looks like crap. I hate how he has made her insecure like this. I tell her she is beautiful, and she rolls her eyes!But she is still willing to break up with the guy who treats her like a princess for jackass dad. Isn't what he does emo abuse?y then is she so attached to him?

Answer 1

I think it is abusive too .. but she lived like this all her life , probablly she will see it latter when she will be mature enough to see things with other eyes .. Its not much u can do now .. :(
good luck ..

Answer 2

The sad part about this is that she will probably end up with some guy that talks down to her the same way her dad does. I can't say her father is abusive, but from what you described I think he goes about trying to help her in the wrong way. He does sound rather harsh.

Your girlfriend sounds like she might have low self esteem (thanks to dad i'm sure), that's why she rolls her eyes when you compliment her... she can't accept compliments because she doesn't feel that way about her self.

As foul as this may sound.... this is not your problem. You can't undo what has already been done. Telling her she is beautiful a thousand times a day won't do any good if she doesn't believe it herself. This is something she will have to recognize and work on changing. She will have to convince herself that she is beautiful. It is very nice that you do compliment her, and i'm not suggesting that you stop, just don't expect to see overnight results after what has probably been damaged for years.

She could be attached to her dad for many reasons, but maybe primarily because he's "dad", and she loves him unconditionally - despite how twisted you think their relationship is.

Finally, if you think that she is willing to break up with you off of the "go ahead" from her dad, you might want to reevaluate your relationship, and decide if you want to continue to put yourself in that position. You see the influence that dad has on your g/f.... don't expect this to change overnight either. And are you willing to deal with it if it does not change at all? Think about it.

Answer 3

This is differently emotional abuse. Where is the mother in this? I know that girl are closer to there father growing up and there is a different kind of bonding yet this sounds like a different kind of bonding like maybe they might be a little to close. Don't get me wrong this can be innocent and she is just protecting her father but the way you describe it sounds like daddy dearest is doing more than being a good father to this young lady. Has she ever she he has touched her in a bad way? Can you discuss this with your mother or school counselor? Also men have a weird way of trying to get a women to take better care of themselves. They think telling them they are fat or getting fatter is what will make a person turn around and do the opposite. But this isn't the way at all, this may just make her want to take something to make her thinner for her father and she could grow up using diet pill and etc. If you care for this person than do what you can do and than if it is hurting you just step aside and please go on with your life. God Bless and Good Luck

Answer 4

Yes, this is a form of abuse and her father needs a good swift kick. My best friend's dad was like that and when she finally slimmed down some and wore a little make-up and looked pretty he called her a whore. Unfortunately, young women want to please their father first because they are really a girl's first love. Are you in a position where you can suggest to him to be a little kinder to her? He will probably say he's doing it for her own good but it is belittling and in the end she will go to a lot more men seeking the approval she never got from her dad.

Answer 5

you will desire to all as a relatives, have a extreme communicate approximately this. you could desire to sit down down and hear one yet another. you could desire to take heed to what your father has to assert approximately you, with the aid of fact im particular there's a rationalization for a fashion he treats you. after which you will desire to have you ever say. tell your father and mom what problems you and ask what you're able to do to alter the way issues are going. in case you cant make that take place, then tell your mom what bothers you, and then she would be able to chat approximately it alongside with your dad.i in my opinion does not say your father is abusive, as long as he does not bodily abuse you (and that i'm hoping he does not, in view it quite is an exceptionally extreme remember). Youre a teenager, i had a huge form of conflicts with my father and mom besides, yet once you row up, im sorry to assert, you come back to comprehend that each thing that they did develop into on your guy or woman sturdy.

Answer 6

yea, that crosses the line right there. He is treating her as a possession. Crazy sometimes.
You can't do a darned thing about it. She is probably used to it and is looking for a man to treat her the same way until she realizes it isn't healthy for her.

Answer 7

my dad is like that. i guess you can call it abusive but htere is nothing you can do. she is probablkyt attached because she has the false assumption that he cares for her. i am not attached to my father. tell her you really care for her and it is ok that she wants to stay with her dad (even tho you don't), maybe she will realise how crazy she is ebing (no offense)

Answer 8

Yes this is abuse,mental abuse and she would be much better off to love herself and make her own choices about how she feels about herself.

Answer 9

there is a syndrome called stockholm syndrome in which people are bonded to abusers, I am sorry you are caught here, you must examine in your own life if this relationship is worth all this pain it is causing you, unfortunately you can attempt to help her but ultimately it is her life and she will need want out,,,i wish you luck in pulling the wool off her eyes, but do look after yourself, thanks for careing enough for her,,to seek advice

Answer 10

While the father, from your description, is not PHYSICALLY abusive, he could be classified as mentally abusive. As he is her parent, however, it is not be altogether unusual for her to feel loyal to him.