You can only be happy with another person only if you are happy with yourself on your own. If you are not hapy with yourself and try to find someone to make you happy, chances are there will be lots of problems in the relationship later on. Am I right or wrong?
2006-12-28 03:43:45 · 18 answers · asked by Kevinlad 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you're totally right. "chances are" - so sure you're going to have a few rare exceptions but overall, it's doomed from the start.
In my experiences I've seen people look for relationships to find a missing piece to them or their lives. Sometimes they are lucky enough to find that person as well as someone who compliments them as well, but mostly they find someone that just excites them in some new way. After a while this excitement will always wear off and the things that you liked about them at first become the things that bug you the most. I used to like one girl because she seemed shy and coy all the time - later she complained that I don't "talk to her" and my whole thing was she never talked back.
If you're looking for someone else to fill a void in your life, you'll probably find them, but people also come with their own issues and baggage. At first we overlook the baggage because we just want this void filled - after we finally settle with feeling complete we realize how much clutter this new person has actually brought with them and that's when the relationship either falls apart or the two roll up their sleeves and get to working out the problems.
After my divorce I spent a year away from all women trying to figure out who I was and what I had to offer a woman. Up to that point I was only defining myself by who I was with. When the year was up I found I was okay with being who I was and didn't feel the need to have anyone in my life - that's when I met my current finacee.
Coincidence? I think not.
2006-12-28 03:53:45 · answer #1 · answered by Bard Noir 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not necessarily. Being happy certainly makes it easier to have a good relationship, but I think the reason they fail is far more complicated than whether or not a person is happy with himself. Issues about compatibility are probably more to blame. People marry for looks or status and often don't look at the real life day to day things that make a relationship work--being able to agree or at least compromise on things like: religion, politics, finances, sex, child rearing, house chores, vacations, spending time with relatives, careers.
2006-12-28 03:55:06 · answer #2 · answered by schweetums 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i can agree to the extent. yeah if one person is not happy the relationship cant work. but if you have the will you can make the relationship work bc the other person can make you happy again if there is will. but i think relationships don't work bc people don't know how to communicate. people don't try to solve the problems in the relationship and give up. instead they should try to figure out what the problem is and what can be done about it.
2006-12-28 03:50:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must be happy with yourself as an individual before you can be in a relationship with ANYBODY! Including mama, papa, kids, siblings, coworkers and etc. If you have problems that you have not let go, then you will bring them with you and that will possibly hinder the relationship. Is that fair to the other person?
2006-12-28 03:48:25 · answer #4 · answered by notnew2U 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I kind of agree with what you are saying. True, only we can make ourselves happy. We cannot depend on someone else to do that for us . But, relationships do not necessarily fail because people are not happy with themselves. What if that person is unhappy because they are doing all the giving and getting nothing in return? It is possible that they are unhappy because their "partner" makes them unhappy. See what I'm saying?
2006-12-28 03:47:34 · answer #5 · answered by Lt 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
60 percent of marriages fail due to a lack in belief in one and other along with selfishness. As well, it's because laws for women FINALLY changed about 40 years ago and they were legally ABLE to make choices about their own lives. 40-50 years is about enough time to show social change.
2016-03-28 22:21:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is true....only you can make you truly happy. Love is learning how to love the other person and if the other person doesnt know how to love themselves then that relationship is screwed
2006-12-28 03:46:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're absolutely right. People need to master singlehood before they can master relationships. Unless (like me) they like singlehood so much that they don't even bother with relationships. Self-fulfillment is the key to total happiness.
2006-12-28 03:58:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships fail because of men. Most everything bad that happens in this world happens because of men. Start there are one of these centuries you might find the solution.
2006-12-28 03:48:53 · answer #9 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your right but just cause your not happy with yourself doent mean that the relationship will fail the relationship could have failed even if you are happy with yourself
2006-12-28 03:49:32 · answer #10 · answered by Mo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋