I'm thinking about my relationship and I think for months I knew something wasn't right, but I tried to stay together because I didn't want seem like I couldn't keep a guy. Turns out it ended horribly and we really don't like each other anymore. I'm 26 and all of my friends are in relationships that have lasted longer than mine. I can't call my ex to get back with him for pride's sake, but I can't help but feel like I failed.
2006-12-28 03:26:58 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dont be so hard on yourself, your not a failure - you dont want to waste time with the wrong guy - if he wasnt the right guy for you youre better off without him. You never know whats around the corner for you.
2006-12-28 03:29:43 · answer #1 · answered by Carrie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have failed... as girlfriend. whether you're single or not isn't a measure of your social status. You don't keep a guy around because you are trying to prove something to others. The moment you determine that a guy isn't the one, your relationship changes. It is time to end it. You are no longer enchanted by the idea of having a future together, and you start to take the other person for granted. You start to pull away, which causes the other person to tighten their grip on you, with negative results. You were using him. The fact that you care more about what other people think about your relationship abilities than you do about hurting those who are close to you is a big issue. It means you are really shallow and selfish, both of which are probably contributing factors to your inability to "keep a guy". You need to rethink what it is that is important in this world and take some corrective action. Otherwise, you will fail every time.
2006-12-28 03:45:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would have failed if you would stayed in a relationship where you were not happy at all. Being happy is not a matter of what people would say or the society trends, being happy is how you feel about yourself. If you were not happy in that relationship then you did the right thing and no one can change that. The right person will come along, the mistake we all make is rush into relationship with the wrong person just because we do not want to take our time. It seems being single is like a sin, something not acceptable when sometimes is the ideal state where you can get to know yourself and take your time to evaluate what you really want out of a relationship. Focus! You will find a great person, just like the one you deserve.
2006-12-28 03:30:51 · answer #3 · answered by Jessica G 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not every relationship is destined for marriage and "'til death do us part." If you went into the relationship thinking it was going to be for marriage and children and forever, then "perhaps" you could look at it as if you failed, but honestly, most relationships in younger people are practice runs or "test drives."
How will you know what you want "forever" if you don't try some on for size?
If you did the best you could and tried to make it work and had some enjoyable times with the other person and treated them fairly, then you have not failed. You have simply had a relationship that ended. There's no sin in that.
And the worst possible thing you can do is to compare your relationships to those of your friends. Everyone's situation is different.
2006-12-28 03:31:44 · answer #4 · answered by Rvn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never avoid breaking up a relationship when you honestly know it's not good for you. I will end in a bad way because you are really lying to yourself and the other person. Keep your relationships real. We don't fail at relationship we only grow up in them. Don't worry about how long they last. The important thing is to enjoy the time you spend with the person. Just relax you will find a better relationship soon.
2006-12-28 03:38:07 · answer #5 · answered by relationcounseling 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You didn't fail. If anything you've learned a valuable lesson. I myself was with the same girl for years simply because I didn't know how to break up with her. It was the biggest mistake of my life - I even got married and divorced over it.
Calling your ex is the LAST thing you should do - even if it WAS for something other than pride issues, once you've broken up with someone you can never really go back unless you two have fixed the reasons you broke up in the first place (that goes for anyone).
If ALL of your friends are in relationships then maybe you need to do somethings on your own. Take classes on new hobbies you've been interested in but no one else (especially your ex) cared about. See movies no one wanted to watch with you and finally live life on your terms and your terms alone. Maybe you've had this hidden desire to do "paint your own pottery" or something like that (which is actually cooler than it sounds at first) for YOU. Maybe while you're there you meet a new guy who obviously had similar interests, but you have to start living the life you want first before you can figure out how to attach anyone else to it.
You can't go around defining yourself by the relationship your in (or looking to get into) - that will never make you complete person, it only makes you dependent one someone else.
2006-12-28 03:37:46 · answer #6 · answered by Bard Noir 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok nicely your first issues first- make your relationship/friendship along with her pal genuinely clean. do no longer hold close out along with her with out your lady pal there. do no longer call or text cloth or IM or e mail her WHAT-SO-EVER. comprehensive detachment as nicely smiles once you have your arm around the one which you love lady pal. Secondly, choose for a walk. take a seat her down. Be common and be common. don't be protecting. examine along with her what her concerns are and tell her each and every thing that has been happening. Your honesty will enable her to certainly pay attention that your are actually not after which you're able to desire to do as I stated interior the 1st step to tutor which you're. Thirdly, in case you certainly are seeing her perfect pal- guy up and tell her the certainty. Mutual communicate ending the relationship. Get your act at the same time.
2016-11-24 20:04:58 · answer #7 · answered by chasse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't feel that way. You gave both of you a chance for few months and if you didn't feel right about that relationship then I guess you did the right thing.
I mean it will be more horrible to continue the relationship because of someone's pride. Relationship doesn't work that way.
2006-12-28 03:31:05 · answer #8 · answered by abby l 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you call your ex and get back with him that would be a failure because everything would be the same.
You can get a fresh start by getting a few session with a good therapist to put your life back on track and to stop feeling like a failure.
You need an emotional tune-up because you can start again...good luck.
2006-12-28 03:30:41 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, only one relationship you'll ever have really lasts, and that will be the last one that you're in. Until you find that one, every other one has to end some time. Relax, and stop forcing it to happen. It'll happen when it's right. Then you'll have a relationship in which you can be happy.
2006-12-28 03:29:02 · answer #10 · answered by AK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't go looking for love or try too hard to make something work. You have to wait for love to find you. If you are with the right person everything falls into place and little effort will have to be made for both of you to be happy.
2006-12-28 03:30:49 · answer #11 · answered by searaydreams 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋