Problems related to baby-sitter and child-care.?

Question

My two and half year old daughter cries and does not want to part from me when I drop her off at my baby-sitter's house. My baby sitter has 2 8-10 year old grandsons and my daughter doesn't seem to like them. My daughter never cried before. This worries me. Also sometimes she says that the baby sitter gives her a whack. I don't see any bruises on my daughter's body and am not sure if my daughter is telling the truth. Has anybody had similar situations? How did you deal with such situations? What are indications of abuse at the baby-sitter's?

Answer 1

It isn't unusual for a child that age to suddenly start to cry when you leave her, but you should definitely look into it. Any time your gut tells you there may be a problem with your child you are better to be safe than sorry. Ask the babysitter what kind of discipline she uses, both with your daughter and with her grandsons. Maybe she whacks the grandsons and your daughter has seen this. It is also a good idea to drop in unexpectedly (maybe on your lunch break) or pick her up early without calling. You might consider changing sitters. As I said, it is better to be safe than sorry.

Answer 2

My mom also babysat over 30 children and when their parents left them. They never cried. An when their parents picked them up they never cried for the babysitter. They were well adjusted
So to me this means something is wrong. Out of the mouths of babes does mean something. Sure some kids story tell with a high imagination however when you ask them about the sitter and they get mad and are against going. Their truly is a problem. Ppl could sugar coat it all they like.
My sister is a college teacher. My other sister is an early educater and I am in healthcare. I have been abused one time at the age of 4 or 5, maybe more then once. But I simply remember one incidet and it was a family friend!
And there you have it
I would cry when my mom wanted to leave me for a second if that wan was around. Ad no there were no visible signs other then my cries. My mom never left me again. She was and is a terrific mother!!

Answer 3

You can certainly talk to the sitter about discipline and find out what her philosophy is. I would tell her I don't want her to spank, hit, or whack my kid and after you'd discussed it, see if you're even comfortable leaving your daughter there.

The boys may well not be doing anything really bad, but they play differently than she does and they're just not interested in a 2 y/o girl. I wouldn't be crazy about having them around my child to tell the truth. A vulnerable little girl and a curious pre-teen aren't a good mix.

I was very unhappy with ds's child care when he became a toddler. We were fortunate that we were able to hire someone at home to watch him. I've always felt more comfortable with bigger "centers" in general, though, because there are lots of people around and parents in and out, hopefully keeping things safer...

Anyway, best of luck. Child care is a huge, scarey headache. I hope you'll find a better situation for your daughter.

Christie

Answer 4

I was in a very similar situation.... a couple of times. First time, the daycare provider TOLD me that she was locking my then-four month old in a room because she was "crying too much." Now, by baby had a gentle temprement and good manner, so it struck me odd that my sweet little baby started crying all of the time for no reason. And it was worse when I took her to daycare. I would pull up, ring the doorbell, she would hear the babysitter's voice, and go into screaming fits. Like she was terrified. I asked the babysitter later on and she told me. My daughter was immediately removed and I felt terrible for not taking the babysitter to task sooner.

Second situation: new babysitter. She's fantastic! Her kids, however, not so much. The older two (who are about 8 and 10) would push my 3 year old around. Now this didn't happen then first time she went to daycare there (because she was little and dependent on everyone... she started there at about 4 months old and I took her out at 3 because she is in a pre-k program). Anyhow, my husband and I decided to send her back at 3 1/2 because she is going to school half days and my husband needed time to actually WORK at his office (he was taking her to work with him). So, she started going back about two days a week. Sitter is still fantastic! But because my kiddo voices her own opinion now, and is (sort of) pushy when those kids are pushy, they started being very mean to her. Not sharing, hitting, biting, you name it. And I'm sorry, I will believe my daughter ANY DAY over what another kid tells me (unless I have concrete evidence).

THe point of this is to trust your instincts. If your gut tells you that something is awry, then it more than likely is. See about getting a new sitter. Until then, take your sitter to task about it. Contact your local SRS office as well (to see if that sitter has been reported before). The first sitter I told you about, well, I called SRS to see if she had been reported before. Turns out she had. For very similar situations (as mine) AND child abuse AND child neglect! She lost her licensing, but found a loophole and had her business name under another person's. The saddest thing about that whole situation is that she's suing me because I didn't pay for my daughter's last week of childcare. I had a contractural agreement with her. And she won. I am stuck paying her court costs and the owed daycare now. It's $1200. $1200 for a woman who locked my baby away and treated other babies like crap? Not fun. But, I can't go to jail, so I'm paying. Like my baby did.

TRUST YOUR GUT.
Hope this helps.

Answer 5

My mom babysat for 30 years and is wonderful with kids. I've seen many children come and go within that time and a good percentage have difficulties watching thier parents leave even when then they have so much fun at my moms. She has had tons of over protective parents that of course would accuse my mom of anything and everything that came out of the child mouth, which most of the time ended up being lies or the child mis-understanding. Not to say that they're aren't bad baysitters out there just be sure to have solid proof (not what your 2 year old says) before you go accusing her. You could really offend her and end up loosing a good babysitter.

Answer 6

If you are uncomfortable, then find another sitter or a YMCA that provides childcare....when my 2 1/2 year old son said the baby sitter slapped his hand for touching the remote (she had a 3 year old and a 2 year old at home) I quickly found another sitter.

Answer 7

Has she been around other older kids before? She might be upset because she's adjusting to change. Keep an eye on it and if you feel she's genuinely unhappy, change sitters.

Ask her how the babysitter gives her a whack. Get her to show you. Then you can better guage what she means by that comment.

Answer 8

hey chill man.
the fact that daughter is crying is perfectly normal.
children at this age go through what u call seperation anxiety.
notice that almost all children, who have to part from their parents in the childcare, cry and wail like as if it is the last of their parents.
*opp's.. haha*

and children who are 8-10 would not understand the fact why ur baby daughter is crying and they would just think that she is being spoilt. dont worry about that.
perhaps u could get ur baby sitter to explain to them.

if u dont see any bruises on ur daughter, it means that even if ur baby sitter had whack her, it would be a gentle one..
to discipline her.
i know she is ur daughter, but please dont over react.
perhaps u could have a good talk to ur baby sitter and do what is best for ur daughter.
alright? chill and dont freak out! (:

Answer 9

You don't get bruises from a slap on the butt, I would say she is telling the truth. Personally, I wouldn't let my kids go back to her, she sounds really mean. If a child cries when being left with a babysitter it means they do not feel comfortable there.

Answer 10

kids sometimes make things up if they don't like someone, my daughter use to throw up at daycare and tell us that the daycare lady made her throw up (like literally, sticking her finger down my kids throat) it was annoying cuz I knew she was lying, when in fact she didn't like going over there cuz she made them take naps and my daughter wanted no part of it. we ended up finding a new day care and she loved it. You should talk to your babysitter and tell her hitting or spanking is not what you do to your kid and please don't do it. If your daughter truly hates it there find a new babysitter, or better yet a daycare where they actually teach and spanking isnt allowed