This girl is TOTALLY what I have been looking for. We've hit it off really well. We are in love, even though it has only been a month. She has mentioned that she wants to have kids with me. She's 27 and recently divorced and I'm 28. I'm giving it a year and then I'm going to ask her to marry me. Is that too soon? I think she'd say Yes even if I asked her today.
2006-12-28 03:13:35 · 38 answers · asked by Italian_Guy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I forgot to mention that she makes a ton more money than me...so she's not looking for child support. It's just that it seems we "clicked". True love doesn't come around very often...but for the first time I think it has. I want this to work out, so I'm giving it a year so it does.
2006-12-28 03:40:16 · update #1
Oh...and I forgot to mention that I'm Italian and have given her more pleasure over the last month than she has recieved in all of her 27yrs. Geeze...I forget all of the important parts!
2006-12-28 03:45:23 · update #2
things are moving way to fast. are the both of you desperate for love? she might of told every man she was with that she wants to have his kids. you both need to sit down and talk the relationship over, get to know one another before you marry. there's some things you both need to know about eachother.
Mom of B & D
2006-12-28 03:15:31 · answer #1 · answered by Mom of B & D 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A lot of people look perfect the first month even the first four months.. until time reveals the truth of people.
Never rush into any committment... that is why we have so much divorce.. Be sure! And don't make plans to ask her to marry you a year from now! Spend this time really getting to know each other and see if this is truely the one.
You have not seen her in her most ugly state! and everyone has their ugly. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship.. the best that we can get is if we can live with that persons short commings.
She is also on the rebound.. make sure she is with you because of you and not to replace someone else..
Also make sure you use protection.. DO NOT trust her to take care of that... as some women use this to hold a man.
This simply is not right! and pray for peace and guidence and above all wisdome!
2006-12-28 03:19:52 · answer #2 · answered by Esther J 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Giving it a year is a smart move. This gives you time to get to know her better and she gets to know you better as well. This way you are sure of what the two of you want. My bf and I hit it off within the first month as well (I was 23 at the time and he was 30), and we thought the same thing. We have been dating for two years now and are very happy - the reason it is taking so long for marriage is that he is in grad school getting his doctorate and we wanted to wait until he was out for financial reasons - weddings can be expensive. Anyway, I think you are being smart and doing the right thing, for what my opinion is worth. Good Luck and congrats on finding someone special!
2006-12-28 03:20:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You got to go with what feels right for you. I got engaged after a year of dating...however i have known him for a long time. My parents got engaged after 6 or 7 months of dating and they have been happily married for over 30 years. I would reccomend waiting a while for children. You have to be secure in your relationship and have some "just the two of you time" before you bring a child into the mix. Otherwise you might end up resenting the attention that the child gets. You want to make sure youre relationship is solid before you make any commitments (be it marraige or kids) the most important thing is to know how you will weather the storms that arise in any relationship.
2006-12-28 03:19:40 · answer #4 · answered by Courtney C 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoooaahhh Slow down Killer the both of you. After a month you don't really know if she really is what you are looking for. The longer people are with each other the more they find out about each other the more they find out about each other the less they like each other. LOL Plus don't bring think about bringing a kid in this world if the first thing they might have to go through in life is seeing parents get divorced and then shuffled from one parent to the next for visitation. Give it a lot of time killer.
Plus if she is recently divorced she is just needing someone right now. I also take it you didn't get a lot of action in your teenage and early 20's. it is not to late to start. Go out and tet the waters with other ladies before you commit to one. but remember to weara rubber killer because you can't trust them when they say they are on Birth control and of course the pull out method doesn't work.
2006-12-28 03:32:11 · answer #5 · answered by SuperSoldierGIJOE 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have a good plan. Wait a year, and if you are both still in love, ask her to marry you. She only recently got divorced. She needs time to adjust to her new single life and the whole trauma that comes with any divorce. Meanwhile, use birth control. You two are still getting to know one another. You don't need a child right now. Good luck guys..
2006-12-28 03:18:31 · answer #6 · answered by HENRY M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, slow down...you really need to be sure she is all that she portrays herself to be and a month is certainly not a long enough time to make that determination. Use protection until the year is out. There are women out there that want to have a child in order to get spousal maintenance and child support from a guy after the relationship goes south. Be careful not to confuse your "new girlfriend/relationship" feelings with feelings of forever. be sure that you want your life to be forever bonded to this woman (as it will be if you have a child together) - If she doesn't understand that you both need to know each other better before you bring a child into this world then you'll need to rethink your ties to this woman. Best wishes to you.
2006-12-28 03:20:24 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Everyone goes at their own pace, unless you sense something is wrong, not quite right, just off kilter and as long as you don't feel like you are being pressured into it, that she's not moving faster than you, don't worry about it being too soon. My boyfriend and I hit it off quite well right from the beginning, within weeks we knew this was 'it' so to speak. We have now been together nearly 7 months, planning for the future and everything that comes along with that.
2006-12-28 03:18:19 · answer #8 · answered by Sunidaze 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a grip!!!!! A month is no time to get to know a person. You sound like you're operating on emotions only. Emotions will get you in trouble big time. You're old enough to know love is not just about emotions. It's about so much more. The woman was just divorced. Can't you see she's having trouble with not having a man in her life. Just because she wants to have your children doesn't mean she's "ready" to marry you. Are you ready for the responsibilties that come with having children with a women you've only know for (ONE MONTH!!!). You better "slow your roll" and find a single woman to date. Enjoy your life and if you want to see this woman, see her, but do not have children with her at this time. She's only been divorced for ONE MONTH!!!!. Do youself a favor and get to know this person. She may change down the road and want her freedom after having been married. She may just want children to either fulfill her empty space from her divorce or to "tie" you down. Be very very careful. Don't do it.
2006-12-28 03:22:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you are smart for wanting to give it time. Tell her that if you guys stay together for a year then you would want to marry her. And if you 2 get married that you would love to have kids, if that's what you want. But for gods sake don't let her talk you into having the kids first! And if she wants to push the marriage thing then it may be that is why she is divorced. She needs to take a little time.... Reassure her that you aren't going anywhere.
2006-12-28 03:24:09 · answer #10 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its only been a month, and at least your smart enough to want to wait at least a year. You need time to really get to know this girl, talk ALOT, ask questions. Talk about where you both want to go in your life, jobs, kids, family, religion, finances....everything. Make sure your compatible before taking the plunge...Good Luck
2006-12-28 04:13:56 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋