My best friend is getting married to her fiance who she has been with for 4 years. Their wedding is planned for March 21 2007 and her soon to be mother in law said long time ago that she wanted to make the bridal dress. In the past week her mother in law's father passed away and she need to know if it would be inappropriate to talk about the making of the dress or if she should wait until the mother gets back home. O also the mother in law is in town visiting for Christmas now and lives in Bahrain so when she leaves she will be leaving the country.
2006-12-28 02:47:45 · 19 answers · asked by jackandjenninaz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The distraction from her grief might do her some good, but keep in mind not to press or be impatient or selfish for the goals of the bride...there are many stages to grief and it may take longer to re-focus the mother in laws efforts...perhaps having her remain close by for a longer period of time might benefit all involved. Best Wishes.
2006-12-28 02:54:31 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the best way to approach this topic would be to attempt to relieve the mother in-law from her duties. Make her aware that you understand what she is going through, and you don't want to put the pressure of a wedding dress on her right now. This way you will get 1 of 2 reactions.
1. You will be thanked for the concern and the lifting of the burden.
2. The Mother In-law will insist that it is no trouble and will want to work on it.
The worst way to approach this would be to try and discuss the making of the dress until you are sure that the Mother In-law is still willing to go through with it.
2006-12-28 10:55:47 · answer #2 · answered by jip223 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her future Mother in law is grieving an that must be respected. However if it is brought up in a light conversation it could also be a distraction for her to have something exciting to think about. I would also think that she would need to get her measurements and this would be a good time for that. Find the right moment and then ask politely. If she see the facial or body language say not now, then wait and be patient. There is real pain in the loss of a loved one and real joy in a wedding . So tread softly and except for now her needs first. Best wishes for your friend wedding.
2006-12-28 11:00:24 · answer #3 · answered by freesample1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess the question is does she really want her to make the dress or is she OK with a store bought dress. Sometime people say things- in passing and really don't mean it. Like my mother in law was suppose to give us something- so family thing and then never did it. Your friend should talk to her about it face to face, while she can. Even if it's just a small conversation to get a yes or a no.
2006-12-28 11:04:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it would be best to leave things alone, this is a rough time and it would be selfish to bring up the dress. maybe she (the mother-in-law) will bring it up on her own. i suggest dropping little reminders such as, "its so sad that he passed away just before our wedding." Just be careful its nothing too harsh. if her mother in law never brings up the dress, wait a few days after she returns to her country to call her. say, " i remember you mentioned that you wanted to make my wedding dress, do you still want to make it or should i just buy one." accept her answer, even if it is to buy one. a wedding dress is not an easy project, and this is a tough time. if she does want to make the dress, email or mail pics of what you like and are looking for, and describe (in detail) what you had in mind
2006-12-28 10:55:10 · answer #5 · answered by sj 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it would depend on the state of mind of the future mother in law. If she were not from another country I would say to definitely not mention it. But the wedding is so close at this point! If the woman mentions the wedding and such then it is okay to talk about the dress, but if she is beside herself with grief, don't bring it up.
2006-12-28 10:52:09 · answer #6 · answered by Cris O 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The dress making might help with the healing of the loss. Then again this woman may not be able to function for awhile. And if she's leaving the country.............
I'd mention to the MiL that under the circumstances, the bride is going to make other arrangements for the dress.
Let Momma take it from there.
2006-12-28 12:12:14 · answer #7 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
out of respect for the death of a loved one i would wait. i'm sure her dress is the last thing on her mind right now. maybe the mother in law will bring it up but that would be the only way that i would talk about it. then again even then i would tell her not to worry about it right now just focus on herself and her family.
2006-12-28 12:25:38 · answer #8 · answered by chrisarea_99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wait until she gets back but you know... I think it would be a good way to divert her attention to something else. Mother's love weddings and I'm sure it will make her happy to talk about the dress other then the death. Maybe it will even open her up and allow her to grieve in a healthy way!
2006-12-28 11:03:03 · answer #9 · answered by goldie89lynn 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe this is the best time to bring this up. At the same time, she needs to judge the mind frame of the future mother in-law. If she is not overly distraut she may welcome the distration, specially with the situation you describe of her living out of the country. But you must be mindful of her situation at this time. If she is highly emotional and having a rough time with the death of her father than you should wait.
2006-12-28 11:00:42 · answer #10 · answered by John 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋