What are the issues one should consider before marriage?

Question

While planning marriage what are the issues which one should consider? If a man and a woman are good friends does that gurantee that their marriage will be successful? (This type of questions had been asked from various points of view, none the less answers based on experience or maturity are always valuable. That's why I'm asking.) I am very shy in nature and can not initiate talk with new people. I am confused about choosing life-partner. Please give your advice.

Answer 1

One, what do you have in common? Leave the romantic interludes out of it. Take that away and see what you still enjoy together. Two, there may be times with less money. Try seeing what you both can enjoy together without alot of money involved.
Also see if your prospective mate is giving or if she is the taking type. Behavior many times changes after marriage. Is she thrifty or does she love to spend alot? Is she still at home, or does she have her own place? Can she manage money? Can you manage money? Can she cook? Does her room look clean? Do you or her love to party alot? Is one a church goer and the other uninterested? You have to be upfront with your real desires and/or goals, your likes & your dislikes. Conversation is a necessity. Open communication is a must. Shy is cute but, it doesn`t help when you need to express what bothers you. Do you both want children? Is she close to her family? Are you close to your family? Do either of you want to make a move out of the area? Do either of you have jobs/careers/activities/ hobbies/ interests that will take you away for long periods of time? Do you want animals? What kind? Are either of you allergic or afraid of certain kinds of animals or pets? Do you want to rent or own? Who would handle the funds? Individual accounts or joint? Credit cards? Check balances? Watch for overdrawing, non-payments. A big one is what outstanding debts they have prior to marriage. A loan? It is sad to marry and find you are already $10,000.00 in debt, and you find out when the bill collectors come calling a few months later. It can put quite a strain on the marriage. Friends is a great start. It is no guarentee that it will work. Is there someone that is constantly going to be calling, & visiting. Can you deal with it? Does anyone interfere with your relationship now? Are you able to step in when it is too much? Are there any medical issues? Can you handle them? Can you accept her as she is, without expecting to change her?

Answer 2

You must discuss preferences for religion and children, possible future career changes (and who will handle the finances), and disclose all debts. People have differing ideas about monogamy in marriage, too, so this is also very important to discuss, as are division of housework and caregiving of any kids. Most important, however, is that there be a close friendship, strong personal and sexual compatibility, and a high level of attraction between BOTH partners. Unfortunately, "good friends" isn't any guarantee of a successful marriage. It's a start, but quite a bit more is required. If you're too shy to raise these topics before marriage, you and your partner may suffer consequences later; pre-marital counseling would be especially important in your case.

Answer 3

God should be included in your relationship.
The man and woman should be of the same yoke.
If there are differing levels of Godly worship there will be , more difficulties than if there is an equal amount of Love for the creator of all things.
There is also a necessary amount of give and take along with agreeing that these two people are different and will never see through the same eyes. Confluence is a necessity.
never to be condescending.
well, hey- try just looking at the Bible. It tells exactly what is needed to make Love. Then the relationship will go much smoother.
I know it sounds silly but , we were all given an instruction booklet with life. It truly does help. Try it

Answer 4

Many many things to talk about and agree before marriage. Everything to where to live, how to live, friends to associate with, in laws, Finances, religion, sex, spending money, leisure time, work environments (men/women ratio) and the list goes on.
Basically, I believe the old saying of engagement for two years is pretty good because during that two years you really get to know them through everyday crisis, major crisis, holidays, ups and downs etc; Because too many people make a lifelong comittment based on knowing a person a couple of months. It's true, and is probably why so many failed marriages. All issues don't seem that big until your faced with them.
If you have been married before, or have children involved.......even more issues to talk about and agree on.

Answer 5

Being best friends may be strong foundation for a marital relationship, but there are many more things one should consider. Trust, mutual respect, goals, honor, attraction - not just physical, but mental and emotional, and opinions concerning morals and values. There are no guarantees that any relationship is going to last forever. Communication is key and both parties must be mature enough to know at times what needs to be said and know what things never need to be put into words. Best wishes to you.

Answer 6

do they want children how reliable are they, what do u see in their past that may come up in the future, do they have alot of extra baggage, that might interfere in their marriage to u, how do they act under stress, and crisis, can they problem solve, what kinds of problems have u had with this person, as they will always resurface after u marry them. money problems, their spending habits, are they honest, and trustworthy, or do they lie, what does their character say about them. got to look into their past and see what they did it may give u a glimpse into their future. how well do they keep a job, do they easily get frustrated and give up on things, or do they follow through and deal with life's problems, have they ever walked out on others, if so it could happen to u in the same way.

Answer 7

1) Children. How many....if any, etc......
2) Finances........both parties work? Should the woman continue to work full time if you have a family?
3) Trust, intimacy, sex
4) In Laws, and ex relationships
5) Geographic location (where you will live)
6) Buy a house or rent
7) Religion
8) Political ideas

Answer 8

Look at your core goals and value in life. Are they they same? Do you believe in the same things such as religion, work, family, friends, etc? Do either you feel really strongly on some issues that you see that break marriages up today? Like things like some definatley not wanting children, time you spend apart, etc.

Answer 9

The things you need to consider when finding a mate to marry are: a good job, good health, sane family, good heart, faithful, honest, devoted, and caring. These are the major qualities that are most important. Once you find her, then you can focus on the question, "Will she take care of me if something happened to me". Get that answer...and keep the woman who says yes. Thank you.

Answer 10

The first issue, and it's a big one, is to decide if you both want to have children and if so, how many. Another issue is money. Who will manage the money and pay the bills. Next, where to live. I would suggest living as close to your work as possible. Are you going to buy or rent?