A relaitive gave me a check for the holidays. They are rude to me the rest of the year. I want to refuse it. How do I respond to them?
2006-12-28 02:30:19 · 21 answers · asked by Falcon 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Say to them, "Thank you, but I don't need you to acknowledge me only once a year when you feel you HAVE to." Then hand it back.
2006-12-28 02:34:48 · answer #1 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Accept it and try to tell them what they did that you don't appreciate also give them a warning sign that next time you won't accept any gifts from them if they continue with that attitude. There is something else you can do with that check if it is big enough how about open an account at the nearest bank.
2006-12-28 03:37:40 · answer #2 · answered by laurechery 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could return it with a very polite note saying thanks for thinking of me but I can't accept this, and leave it at that.
On the other hand...this would not help the relationship...and you could go BLOW it on something you really want but don't need...and consider it payment for putting up with their rudeness all year!!
A side note here: I had certain relatives that were SO RUDE to me the first 5 years of my marriage, but they'd spend a LOT of money on us on occasion, and it kept us beholden to them, because after all you can't write someone off who has just given you an expensive item... This might also have given them 'permission' to be rude. I did not like this at the time but was gracious anyway, and...it took years...but I did win them over, and they ended up loving me because I was so kind to them. It was tempting to return their gifts and tell them a few things, but I took the high road and although the payoff was not immediate, being kind did work, and I am so glad it did. My husband so much appreciates the person I am and that I was so kind to his parents. If I had wanted he'd have broken off contact with them 15 years ago, and we'd have all been the losers. My kids would have lost gps, and my husband would have lost his parents. My father-in-law died last year and now I am especially glad that I did not return evil for evil.
2006-12-28 02:44:55 · answer #3 · answered by Cris O 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Maybe it is their own way of apologizing. Not saying it's the right way to do it, but maybe their hearts are in the right place for a change. Don't be rude and refuse. Accept with kindness and remember to send a thank you card.
2006-12-28 02:49:46 · answer #4 · answered by †♥mslamom♥† 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them the truth. Given the situation, I don't think you have a lot to do with them during the rest of the year, so you shouldn't care what they think if you refuse the gift. Besides, if you take the money, you will seem at their pity. So just say no.
2006-12-28 02:34:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
To refuse a gift is a very big insult. Are you sure you want to do that? I am not sure rudeness warrants a gift refusal. If you want to treat them like they are insignificant then don't cash the check and see if they figure it out...
2006-12-28 02:35:39 · answer #6 · answered by The It Girl ∆☻乐 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could either politely reply that you appreciate the gift but cannot accept it OR you could take it and put in the bank towards collage.
They are who they are and refusing the gift might make you feel better but will never change them.
2006-12-28 03:51:30 · answer #7 · answered by Julie Hartford 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I like the charity answer. I think this has more to do with how you think about the money then the money itself so the money ultimately is immaterial. My suggestion is to do whatever you want with the money. It is a gift. Do not allow them to control you with the money given or to put strings on the money. If they do, remind them that it was a gift and to not give you any more gifts if they intend to put strings on them because you will not accept them.
2006-12-28 03:27:03 · answer #8 · answered by brighterdayscounseling 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a holiday gift. Rude or not, why refuse it? We all get gifts from family memebers we don't like. We don't throw it back at them. We be gracious and move on.
2006-12-28 02:52:43 · answer #9 · answered by dana j 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How can this person be rude if they thought enough of you to give you a gift? Be gracious and accept the gift. Buy something nice with it and think about how much kinder you can be.
2006-12-28 02:33:06 · answer #10 · answered by Reo 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Void it out and mail back to them. Put in a kind note stating something like,
I don't feel right accepting this from you as the rest of the year you treat me differently
Or just tear it up, and make them wonder!
2006-12-28 02:53:27 · answer #11 · answered by momof3 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋