Did I over react?

Question

I married my husband two years ago. I moved in w/ him, his father, and his sister. The home was paid off 50/50 by my husband and his father. His father moved out about a year ago and when he moved out he said we could keep the house and not to worry about paying him back because that was his gift to us. So basically it is my husbands and my house. Well his sister asked if she could bring a friend to live w/ us and I said yes. Then she brought another sister to live us and I did not say anything either. So now It's my husband, his two sisters, his sisters friend, and I. I decorated the house, put up pictures, brought in new furniture because the house was empty when I moved in. Now his sisters are saying that they don't like a house w/ decorations, and that they wish I never changed anything because it's their home and not mine. If I put up a candle they take it down. If I put up anything they move it around and break my dishes and just destroy everything. I was fed up w/ it yesterday b

Because they destroyed my x-mas tree and my nativity set. So I took everything down and put it away in boxes. I put away pictures, lamps, every single thing.Not because of letting them get away w/it but because they destroy everything. Did I over react? What would you do in this case? It is my home, My husband paid for it and his father let us keep the part he paid for.

The home is paid for and it is under my husbands and my name.

Answer 1

If it were me I would put my foot down and make them leave the house, you and your husband haven't been married long at all and as long as you let them live with you and disrespect you eventually you will get tired of it all and your marriage will end, why is your husband allowing this to go on? Your his wife and he should love and care for you enough not to put up with this bs...... honey if you love him put your foot down before its too late!!!!!!!!

Answer 2

I don't think you over-reacted. You are just projecting your things. Over-reacting would have involved...say...physical violence. What they are doing is SO WRONG and SO JUVENILE. To say that they don't like decorations and to break yours?? That obviously is not the issue. It sounds like they are trying to force you out. You need to find out where your husband stands on this issue. Then the two of you need to present a united front and reclaim your house by throwing the other 3 out, or by giving them strict guidelines and telling them they will have to move out if they don't follow them. I will say that anyone who would vandalize is NOT going to follow the guidelines you set out - they will probably get worse or get sneaky and you'll end up losing more things - so even though it might cause family conflict, you would be better off to remove them from the home right away, although that will seem that you've not given them a chance.

Answer 3

I don't think you over reacted. Afterall, it is your home and you have the right to do what you like with it.
How does your hubby feel about all of this? You do have the right to change your mind, and in light of their actions, I would.
They are being jerks and being ungreatful for the hospitality you've shown them. They are also getting their way by controlling how you live in your home. Maybe you and your hubby need to talk about the situation and come to some decisions about how it should be resolved. If he isn't willing to talk about it, you may need to make some decisions on your own.
Not sure about all the details but am wondering if they actually pay rent, chip in toward utilities and pay for their own personal things (such as food). If they don't not only are they being rude, they are free-loaders and you don't need to put up with it.

Answer 4

Sounds to me that the first thing you need to do is make sure hubby is on your side totally...then both of you go to his dad and without getting into alot of what has been going on (unless he already knows)...tell him you need to go to the courthouse and get the title of the house changed over into you and hubby's names so that if anything happens to him, that it will be settled and will not be a hassle with the rest of the family. Once that is taken care of, I would tell all family members that are not listed along with you on your marriage certificate that they are to move out. Give them a certain amount of time (no more than 30 days maximum) and if they are not out by then, get ahold of the sheriff and request assistance to prevent trouble or interference and move all their stuff out and into a storage unit (you may have to rent it yourself). Give them the address where their property is located and tell them they will have to pay daily storage charges on it for everyday that it is in there (plus divide the cost of the unit to each) and that if it is not removed and paid for by another certain time limit (again, say 30 days) that you will sell the items at public sale or auction.

Answer 5

I would discuss my feelings with my husband and explain to him that his family is causing problems. And if you dont get them out of the house you will start resenting your husband and your relationship with him will more than likely not survive. If your husband loves you and wants to make your relationship work then he will see that as necessary move.
If the sister's and the friend are not minors and with your husband's support change the locks and move their belongings to the curb.
The Deed is in your husband and your names. End of Discussion.

Answer 6

I would make them move...or if they are going to have say so...pay rent / set up a lease / set of rules...etc!

Answer 7

No you did not over react!! , they had no right, I would kick them out of the house.

Answer 8

Tell them to move, serve an eviction notice.

Answer 9

Whose name is on the house?

Answer 10

tell them to move out