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i work late most days, will they be closer to her than me

2006-12-28 02:15:41 · 14 answers · asked by zolly 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting Other - Pregnancy & Parenting

14 answers

possibly, but that's what happens when you have someone else raising your kids.
just be sure that when you are home you are 100% focused on them and make sure they know that you are their mom and are there for them.

it's hard and life is full of these choices. is there a way you can do soemthing else that allows you more time at home?? kids don't care about money as much as they care about love and that their mom was there for them growing up.

take care.

2006-12-28 02:18:44 · answer #1 · answered by joey322 6 · 1 0

I have done this for the past 15 years, kids are now 16 and 14. here's the thing: if you end up with them really caring about her, consider youself blessed. Because this means they are with someone who really cares about them and doesn't just consider it a job with a paycheck. So when they loved their "Angela"...I always reminded myself how happy they were with her. Also...over the years, they've had 4 sitters....so no one was as consistently there as me. When I am home, I decided long ago that the house could be a bit messier, the chores could remain a bit undone, as the first priority would be to do something with the kids, hear about their day, sit and help do homework, etc., so the "mother things" were still part of my day with them..even if some days I came home too late. Also...when they were little before schoolage, I told the sitter I wanted them on my time clock...so my kids took naps from like 3pm to 6pm and stayed up until 11pm with me...more time for me with them when they weren't cranky and tired. However, of course, when they became school age, it did limit the time they had with me during "awake" hours. Good luck...it's a hard one.

2006-12-28 02:28:02 · answer #2 · answered by lotsaanswers 3 · 1 0

in a different way. Make sure you spend special time with each of your children individually and as a group. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. Live in help will be close to them but you can be the Mom they want to be. If it's a choice between getting dishes done and watching a movie with the kids, watch the movie. The dishes won't go anywhere. Make good use of the time you have with them.

2006-12-28 02:20:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

probably.. I took care of a 2 year old for 5 days a week and 12 hours a day... I didn't live there and he was closer to me than his mom... But, they can be close to her and you too. It doesn't have to be a competition. You are still mom and one day they are going to look back and see how hard you worked to take care of them. Good luck ;)

2006-12-28 02:51:50 · answer #4 · answered by Mrs.Neville 4 · 0 0

Kids get close to everyone they spend time with in their own ways. As long as the time you do have to spend with them is quality time then don't worry about it. I know it's always hard for us as moms not to be jealous of those who get to spend the most time with our kids while we are off working hard to care for them financially. If it bothers you that much why don't you try looking for something closer to home with better hours. Your their mom and no one can replace you.

2006-12-28 02:24:42 · answer #5 · answered by kay2006 2 · 1 0

Nobody can replace you as mom, but yes, you'll have to expect that the kids will be close to their caretaker. Either change your work situation or do your best to spend good quality time with the kids when you can.

2006-12-28 03:07:32 · answer #6 · answered by chicchick 5 · 0 0

Sorry to say, but more than likely yes... I don't know that firsthand.. I'm a SAHM of 2.... My cousins had a live in nanny and they were and are much closer to her even now....

2006-12-28 02:18:41 · answer #7 · answered by Kat0312 4 · 0 0

Difficult.... my Dad used to work at a place called castelini repairing dental equiptment and he gae up his job because he would not see me... how grateful am i looking back... hard decision but I guess it all depends how important "quality family time" is? Your children will still love you but is it the optimum situation?

2006-12-28 02:23:43 · answer #8 · answered by CS 2 · 0 1

Sometime it can be possible but keep them close to yourself if you are around & let them know you work but you love them & take them out & spend time with them.

2006-12-28 02:26:35 · answer #9 · answered by nnene s 2 · 1 0

I think if you love them they will be closer to you, but if she is foreign they might have an accent. I have seen that happen.

2006-12-28 02:23:21 · answer #10 · answered by Penelope Yelsopee 3 · 0 1

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