I had a misunderstanding with my son; now its my daughter in laws who hated my guts. My son is depending her bad attitude. Tell me how to have a better communication with both of them.
2006-12-28 02:04:06 · 12 answers · asked by lucy p 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
If the boy and the girl are below 7-8 years old,buy the book "Positive Discipline for Preschoolers" by Jane Nelson.If the boy and the girl are over 12 years old,by the book "Positive Discipline for Teenagers" by Jane Nelsen.That is the answer to your question.
2006-12-28 02:07:17 · answer #1 · answered by Livia 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Beyond keeping the lines of communication open, really all you can do is apologize if you've offended and leave it at that.
Many daughters-in-laws are still working out their relationship with their own mother. Having someone ELSE'S mother as an influence can be too much to handle. Don't be an influence. Don't give unsolicited advice. Don't call more than once a day, in fact, if they are newlyweds, keep it to once a week. My MIL's overeagerness to be a part of my life turned me off from her for a solid 4 years. You can't force a relationship.
Do offer to help with the kids. Do occasionally bring over a thoughtful gift (but call first!) Above anything else, be willing to give the DIL her space. She wants to have her OWN family, not be a junior member of yours. And if you caused her husband some upset (remember, he's the love of her life) then her loyalty should be with him and not you.
Be open to communicate and inside yourself, forgive her for "hating" you. Again, apologize whether you think you did something wrong or not. It will catch her off-guard. You will get along eventually.
Best wishes.
2006-12-28 10:20:59 · answer #2 · answered by meanjanine 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell them how you feel. Let them tell you how they fell. Your son is probably caught in the middle and feels he has to choose sides. Maybe an invite over for dinner and a long chat about what happened will clear the air. Good Luck.. It can be tough being an in-law.
2006-12-28 10:22:44 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you truly love them both, tell them you love them always! My mother-in-law always tells me she loves me, she gives me hugs, kisses, she even talks with me and asks me how things are going in my life, and isn't one sided with her son- she always says, "Now you know you can come to me about anything-even if Blank (her son), does something, you can come to me anytime." My husband can get upset when our 15 month old son cries (a lot sometimes), so it can get stressful, but she talks to me about this, and it makes me feel better! So the more involved you get with your daughter in law, the better things will be. My mother -in -law also tells me I'm her daughter too. She doesn't look at me as an in-law, but more of as a daughter.... I think everyone should do this, it really helps! :)
Goodluck, so if you have to be open with your in-law and tell them you love them, and that you are there for them both and they can always come to you. There was a misunderstanding, so simply state that, but that you are sorry, and you love them very much.
2006-12-28 10:10:45 · answer #4 · answered by m930 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Work it out with your son. My mother in law treats my husband like crap and it makes me mad. I will always take his side over hers. If you want to communicate better with the daughter in law, you have to be able to work out your relationship with your son. Just try talking to him. If you owe him an apology then you need to apologize. I don't know your situation, but it can take a while to undo years of hurt, so just be patient. But if he doesn't forgive you, don't blame your daughter in law.
2006-12-28 11:47:07 · answer #5 · answered by kat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
White these family tension will always exist, both sides have to work it out. Actions speak louder then words. Work on building your relationship with your son first. Then his spouse will have less excuses to be mad at you. Good luck
2006-12-28 10:15:21 · answer #6 · answered by Gator 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way is to sit down and have an honest talk. Get it all out in the open and talk about it so you all can get past it! Then when things do get better, bite your tongue more often than you think you need to.
2006-12-28 10:07:55 · answer #7 · answered by wish I were 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you need to understand that they are one now. Offending your son or your dil will only hurt you in the long run. Tell them you are sorry and be sincere.
2006-12-28 10:07:21 · answer #8 · answered by mama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd start with your sons. Explain to him that you dont want distance between you and your family members.
If that doesnt help, go to your daughter in laws and apologize to them for whatever upset them, and explain to them that it was a misunderstanding.
Just tell them you want to be close to them, but you dont know how to, and you want to start on a fresh page, and you need their help to know how to do that.
And then let them work it out in their own heads, and then you all can be friends again.
2006-12-28 10:07:04 · answer #9 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm sorry, I overstepped my bounds. Will you forgive me and let me try to be a positive person in your life? Good Luck
2006-12-28 10:10:11 · answer #10 · answered by gigglings 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋