I am so lonely. I'm very shy. Ladies? I'm not unattractive. Tell me how to get a girl. How do I approach?

Question

I'm am a good looking 35 yr. old man. I have had a handfull of relationships in this life. This is the longest I've been alone and single and I'm needing a companion, but I'm soooo shy and low selfesteemed. Please give advise on how to approach and strike a convo with attractive ladies... Whom you've never met. I need to tell u that I have lost all associates due to a major change in my life. I'm trying to better myself, but it has left me alone and friendless. Should I just walk up and start talking and if so what about? There are a couple o girls in mind. But Im so shy.

Answer 1

If you're asking girls, you're not going to get the answer you need.

In terms of Shyness:

Force yourself to talk to women, start viewing yourself as the "catch". Go talk to girls in clothing stores to start there are plenty and they're usually attractive.

Feeling confident is about being happy, happy about yourself. Contentment that you are worth it. If you send the signal that you are needy and insecure you won't inspire any attraction.

1. don't get jealous, confident men aren't jealous of anything

2. be calm, cool. lay back a bit and stop worrying.

3. start walking, talking, and moving a little slower. It conveys a more confident attitude when you make slow movements with women.

4. Change your posture, shoulders back, arms at your side, a decisive looking strut, head UP!

5. Use eye contact when talking with girls (it is actually significantly linked to an emotional connection if you can maintain strong eye contact ) Don't try this with men, staring is actually threatening.

6. Speak in smaller, more meaningful sentences. A confident guy doesn't ramble on and on about meaningless things.

7. Take a stand. If something you think goes against the majority's thinking (ex: they're picking on somebody) stand up for what you feel. You will look confident and they will develop more respect for you as a person if you sometimes go against the majority.

8. If you're in a relationship with a women, being more laid back and not calling unless she does can help you cause in looking more confident.

9. Remember to stay busy with your own life, get your career set up, start a new job, think about your education and feel more confident about that area of you life. It will often help you become more confident in other areas.

10. Don't put pressure on yourself, have fun with women. Once you understand them and all their doublespeak you will feel so confident that you could have a relationship with absolutely any woman you want.


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On approaching women;

Be direct and humorous, this is probably the only time you should be direct in a relationship. Ask for the digits. You'll either get a: 1. "Yes" or 2. some kind of excuse "I'm taken, I'm a lesbian, I don't have a phone" etc.

Once you have that, you wait a week and call her up set up a date on a Tuesday, Wednesday, Monday or Thursday. NEVER the weekend or Friday, maybe Sunday.

When you take her out, make sure to keep it short. I.E. VERY short then you can't make any mistakes with her. Physical activity will release dopamine into her system, so choose something like bowling, mini-golf, or rock-climbing. This will cause her to associate this pleasurable experience with your date together. It will also help remove any nervousness you have on the date. Don't take her to dinner on a first date.

Make sure to NEVER talk about a second date. Don't ask for one. Be calm and cool about it all. Kiss her at the end of the date and make NO mention of future dates. If she invites you into her place, DECLINE. She will think you're the only man alive who would refuse that.

You want her WONDERING whether you like her or not.
Hope this helps

Answer 2

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Answer 3

If you are looking for a woman, then stop calling them girls. That might be your first mistake right there. I have read some of your questions and you come off sounding very young. Maybe if you act your age, woman might find you more attractive. You need to understand that woman find men more attractive as they get to know them, men are usually opposite on this. Just relax and don't try so hard. Most woman love it when a man makes her laugh, maybe you could start there. Good luck and GOD bless.

Answer 4

you can smile and just wave hi. maybe they will come up and start a conversation with you first. 4 u it shouldn't be very hard. just smile and say hi talk about your favorite sports places you been around the world. places u would like 2 go to. HOPE THIS HELPS HAVE A GREAT DAY :)

Answer 5

I dislike men coming up to me with a line just because they want to chat me up. Its a turn-off.

However, i liked those who take the time to get to know me, have good stimulating conversations and is considerate.

Try going out in a group of friends. however, since you said you have 'lost it all'... try getting someone to set you up. They probably will set you up with someone they know you would like and is suitable for you. Good luck.

Answer 6

I'm a lot younger than you, but I know what you're going through. Find friends first, don't go out there looking for an immediate dating relationship.
ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS FRIENDS FIRST!
Approaching people is a little hard to do, but try to have somebody you know with you. That way, when you are out there trying to find somebody, it'll be easier for you to come out and introduce yourself. OK?

Answer 7

some girls are just as shy so get in a group and be friends for awhile and then talk to her alone and just be yourself and not some mr.stud let her know your feelings ..

Answer 8

its a lot easier to talk in groups so try to put yourself in group situations with a few girls your bound to click with one of them. it might also help if youre a little drunk...

Answer 9

add me to messenger [e-mail] and i will help u

Answer 10

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