Can he get custody if I die?

Question

I am in the process of writing up my will - I wanted to know whether or not a will is enough to have my son taken care of by either my parents or my siblings in the case of my death. I want to prepare for just about anything. My son's father is no where to be found & I don't want him getting custody of my son by court order just b/c I have passed away...any insight would be appreciated!

Answer 1

I would write up a living will and contact a lawyer. I am in the same situation and her dad is a low-life. I have not contacted him for child support for a few reasons...he could not pay much at all (maybe $50/month) and having him in her life would not be worth it. Granted, it'd be nice for her to see his parents b/c they were nice to me, but I'm worried they'd run off with her. I have this gut feeling that it'd be bad to make contact.

On the note of getting custody, the rules vary by state. You should contact a lawyer because you need to have some proof of him being an unfit father. You also need to have written legal proof saying his father does not help out in anyway, he took off, and he has never contributed to your son's well-being. That way, if you happen to die and his father tries to get custody, he can't turn around and say, "Oh...I've always been there for him, blah, blah, blah." I don't know what your religious beliefs are, but I was raised Catholic. When my daughter was 1 month old, I had her Christened and appointed my brother her godfather and my sister her godmother. We all signed a paper in the church that they are the godparents so if anything were to happen to me, she would be raised in the Catholic faith. I also believe that if anything were to happen to me...THEY would raise her. However, I don't know how legally binding a church document is in my state so I am going to have legal papers written to show that this is how I want things to happen.

I know this doesn't sound like much help but the only person that can actually do anything to (for the most part) guarantee legal custody to someone else in your family is a lawyer. I HIGHLY recommend seeking one.

One last thing. I read Blunt Honesty's statement and he is correct. His father can petition for custody but you really do need to start proving NOW that he is unfit. The father seems like a low-life if he is going to leave his child...if you can find him, he may be willing to sign away his parental rights b/c he may be worried about having a responsibility. In that case, you're good to go.

Good luck and I'm sure you'll do what is best for your son!

Answer 2

Technically no, a will isn't enough but it is the right step. If you all were married, You will have to get a divorce with you fileing for full custody. If he doesn't show to court then you are auotmaticlly win and everything will be set for you and your son.
If you two were not married but his name is on the birth cirtificate then you may have to take him to court and strip him of his parenting rights. This will also make it to were your will will be followed.
If his name isn't on the birth cirtifacte and ya'll weren't married then your will should be enough unless the father finds out that you have passed on. Then he could patition for parental rights, posibly granting him full custody, joint coustody (with whoever your sons gardians become), or rights to visitation. But he would have to go threw court and prove that he is his father threw a DNA test. If this happeneds, then the only way to stop him would be that the gardians would have to prove that he is an unfit father.

Every states laws are different, So I would dobble check with a lawer who has a degree in "Family Law". Look at the link below, there is a section there covering "Child Coustody" Maybe that will help you out some more.

Answer 3

If he is listed on the birth certificate and has not had his rights terminated then he will get custody. It doesn't matter what your will says, he will be the legal gaurdian. Now, he can sign away his rights which would make him no longer liable for the child or you can fight to have them terminated so you can designate where your child goes. It's completely outrageous, but true. Also, your parents/siblings could fight to prove him unfit after your death and they might win, but it's thousands of dollars in lawyers and court costs.

My aunt married a man with 2 children. She raised them (mother was a big druggie loser) and then he died in a fishing accident. He had it listed that she take his two boys in the event of his death. The court said too bad, she still has legal right and you don't. She fought for over a year (they were with their birth mother) and she did finally win....she had to sell her house and used every penny of the life insurance her husband had, but she did get the boys back.

Answer 4

A will strictly deals with property and liquid assets. It cannot be used to determine custody. As the natural parent, the father has the right to claim custody and more than likely his petition will be granted. In many cases when the father appears to abandon the child, it is really his attempt to separate himself from all of the drama that goes along with dealing with the mother. With you out of the picture, the father would be more likely to be involved in the child's life.

Answer 5

You can leave him to your parents if you want, but nothing can stop the father from petitioning the court for custody. If he is not a danger to the child, the courts could grant him custody, regardless of your will. Your child is not a possession that ownership can be granted to someone. The father has rights too, even if he is not exercising them now.

If you want to make sure it happens the way you want to, you should find him and have him sign away his parental rights. Get an attorney to work out the details for you.

Hope it works out in your favor.

Answer 6

i was doing a living will recently because i'm expecting my second child and i want to prepare for everything. so i had the same problem. me and my children's father aren't married and although he's a great father i don't want him to have custody of our children should something happen. i just know that i'd feel more comfortable if they were with my family. so i work for an attorney and i asked him what could i do to make sure that my wishes were carried out and he said that a will is a legally binding document that can sometimes include a clause that won't allow anybody to contest it. talk to the attorney or person who is handling your will and make them aware that you want this clause included in your will and that should protect your child.

Answer 7

Through my experiences with courts and lawyers in matters of custody with children is anyone to get in front of the magistrate with real concerns generally gets a positive out come for the well being of the child.
With regard to him not being around depending on how long he has bin gone with no contact , it makes it a harder case for him to win the longer he leaves it.
A little trick i learnt when i was young ,thanks to a cop friend was in situations like this , keep a diary of every thing to do with the situation , visits , time betwean visits and of how general behaviour of every body present . As this is the best kind of evidence of every thing even after we move on .

Answer 8

You should have your son's father sign over his parental rights to you, so that in the event that you die he will have no option of using his parental rights as a factor in getting custody over the person you put in your will.

Answer 9

I have a similar situation. My lawyer wrote up my will and I specifically chose two guardians. She said that the court would pay attention to my wishes, especially since the father has not been involved with my child for many years. He would basically be a stranger to her. There are no guarantees though I suppose.

Answer 10

see a solicitor and write a paper to say if anything happens to you that you child go to other members of the family if need be set up adoption papers that come into force as soon as you die and have it known by the family that they must sign these papers ,have it written that the childs father has dserted it,and has had nothing to do with it and that the child do not know him ,,,,if you are not married to him he loses sertain rights ,,,,he can still appeal ,but if he hasnt been in his life he will have a hard time getting this child ,and also as the child gets older he also has a say in where he would like to go ,,children have their own minds too,,,,,but see your solicitor and cover every corner as you must have a really good reason to wish this ,,,,,and knowing some fathers i dont blame you ,,i would do the same ,,,,but yes there are things that can be done ,,,,a member of your family who you want the child to go with may need to be with you also to agree with any write ups,,,,,good luck and i wish you well and your child ......kat