My fiancee and me were talking about having kids soon. She mentioned that she had an uncle that was considered "retarded", but now she believes that he had undiagnosed Autism. Were autistic children given the label "retarded" in the past when people couldn't figure out immediately what was wrong with them??? Also my fiancee said that if she knew she was carrying a child with Autism, she said she would definitely abort (going further to say she'd leave the country to have it done if it was too late in the pregnancy). I disagreed saying that Autism can be treated. She said she didn't want the extra hassle and used the word "tard"(which I find VERY offensive) when describing the autistic (her uncle was a source of shame to their family). Help!!! I need to get her educated or something as to this condition so that she can have an open mind. Any ideas or comments??? Thanks in advance - Lance
2006-12-28 01:09:56 · 6 answers · asked by LanceMiller77 2 in Health ➔ Other - Health
There are many diagnostic tests for Autism. A common one that comes to mind is called the Childhood Autism Rating Scale (CARS). A diagnosis of autism is made by a professional by observing the child's behavior and by obtaining a developmental history from the child's parent's or guardians. People with autism are very frequently mis-diagnosed, although these days, there is greater awareness of the condition.
Regarding having a child with autism, although it is challenging I'm certain (but raising any child is as well), they can be some of the most loving, creative, logical, and delightful children! I am a special education teacher, and the students that I have had in my class with autism have made teaching very exciting and joyful.
You may want to share some success stories about people with autism. Do an internet search for names like Temple Grandin (a college professor), Jerry Newport (an author), and Valerie Paradiz (another PhD). Many of these individuals view their autism spectrum conditions as key factors in their success in their fields.
The following articles may also be helpful. Best of luck to you and thank you for taking a stand for kids with Autism!
"The Discovery of "Aspie" Criteria" ~ What if Asperger’s Syndrome was defined by its strengths? - http://www.thegraycenter.org/sectionsdetails.cfm?id=38
"Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew" by Ellen Notbohm - http://www.southflorida.com/sfparenting/sfe-sfp-autism,0,6196233.story
Website of Paula Kluth, Ph.D. - http://www.paulakluth.com/autism.html
Positively Autism (free online magazine, includes free resources/activities) - http://www.positivelyautism.com
Teaching Tips for Children and Adults with Autism by Temple Grandin, Ph.D. - http://www.autism.org/temple/tips.html
2006-12-28 03:09:28 · answer #1 · answered by special-education-teacher 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your fiancee has a point in that raising an autistic child is very challenging. If you think that would be easy, you are the one in need of some education. While there is no "cure", there are treatments that could help - unfortunately it sounds like her uncle didn't have access to any of these. But the chances are pretty small that you would have autistic children. Even if you did, the diagnosis could not be made until after birth and the child fails to develop normally.
It does sound like the two of you have very different opinions about children, and it's good you are discussing this before the marriage!! If your fiance was somehow traumatized by this uncle, that may be an additional issue to deal with.
Good luck!
2006-12-28 01:35:10 · answer #2 · answered by WildOtter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, autistic children and those with a host of other developmental disabilities have been called in the past that horrid expression you used. Autism is not treatable, there are therapies that improve the lives of children with autism, primarily applied behavior analysis (ABA) but that doesn't make autism go away or be cured. There is no genetic test for autism (there are some rare autistic-like genetic diseases that are testable but not your 1 in 166 births autism,) and it generally doesn't manifest until a child is 12-24 months old. You don't want to go to the airport of a country that allows abortion at that point.
Regarding your fiancee's insensitivity to developmental disabilities, everyone reacts differently but those people who are heroes, who are great people, who are people everyone would like to spend their whole lives getting to know and love don't call the most challenged among us retards. While I'd forgive this in a 13 year-old boy, a grown woman should know better.
My son has autism. He is 6 and I love him. He will never be normal but he'll always be my son. There are no guarantees in parenthood, and autism, while bad, is not the worst thing that can happen. To see a parent really rise to the occasion check out this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f4B-r8KJhlE&search=Rick%20dick%20hoyt%20can
That guy makes the rest of us look like shadowy half-men. So ask yourself does your fiancee have it in her to be the mom that your children deserve, no matter what? That's really the issue.
2006-12-30 15:22:20 · answer #3 · answered by JF 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you will change her mind. You might want to re think your relationship with this person. Autism occurs in one in one hundred sixteen births. Those aren't very good odds. I cannot condone late term abortion or the term "tard."
2006-12-28 01:33:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
to be common, autism doesnt ensue in the womb, its a social/developmental postpone in the concepts after beginning you cant discover in the adventure that your new child has autsim if the concepts isn't completely functioning or progressed,
2016-10-06 02:56:21 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your fiancee is a tard.
2006-12-30 08:46:00 · answer #6 · answered by ........ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋