Please help me how am i gonna continue my affair?Plz help us?

Question

I have been in an affair for the last 2 years and i'm gonna leave to another distant country to continue my undergraduate studies for 4 years.My girl friend is 2 years younger to me and we cant live without each other at all.She is scared that she wont be able to handle the situation when i'm abroad for 4 years(but i'll be 2wice a year).So she wants to take a break or to break up coz she knows that its so hard for us to live without each other and she says i'll mix up my studies and flunk.Then i started tellin her that i wont go abroad and do a degree in sri lanka.(which is our country).But she doesn want me to do that either coz of her.She is sayin im gonna miss a better opportunity.Both of us are very emotional lovers.She is still 17 and I'm 19Tell me the best possible things to continue a long distance affair! Other fact is my parents are unaware of this.Her mom only knows this. My parents are too conventional(remember we are south asians).

Plz help us!

Answer 1

I do not know what the age of majority is for your nationality, but if it is 18, then you are a legal adult and can do as you wish. With the girlfriend...is she also from your country? If she is not, and she is an American, then depending on what state she lives in, she can legally be considered an adult at age 17. (check into this).
Is your relationship to a point where you would be ready to marry? If so, then I would say, marry her and both of you go to Sri Lanka.
If this is not possible, then you and her must sit down and seriously decide if your love is strong enough to withstand a distance apart from each other. Alot of people have relationships that withstand long distances....celebrates, military families, sports figures, government officials, professional persons......some of them last and some of them don't....but then there is no guarantee that relationships that are local will last either. Nothing in life is guaranteed.
You should just try and see which way will work for the two of you and go from there.
What works today may not work tomorrow...or next week...or next month...or next year.
But, you have to start somewhere and love is a very strong thing to have as a starting point.
Good Luck!!!

Answer 2

an 'affair' in the west means that being married but seeing another at the same time

if that were the case then i wouldn't give you any advice in how to do that

but in a relationship - like it sounds you have (taking that neither of you are married to anyone else) is fine

her mother could be an ally to you both too

i would go with your studies - and stay in touch with your girlfriend by letter and phone when you are abroad - and at the end your relationship co uld be stronger than ever

most relationships do need a lot of work to succeed regardless of the situations that folks find themselves - just see this separation as an opportunity to see if you can both make this work

if you can through this then you can through anything else that life throws at you

i do know that you will certainly regret not taking up this opportunity to study abroad

good luck

Answer 3

Phone each week. E-mail every day. Write letters too, and send cards.
Accept that your feelings for each other WILL change. That is not to say they will die, but they MIGHT, or they could transfer into firm friendship. Maybe your time apart will confirm your deep feelings for each other.
Be prepared thought to have a change of heart in YOUR feeling for your girlfriend, the fact is you are not yet an adult, remember you are both still VERY young and are still growing and maturing and changing emotionally.
At present you are far too young to commit to making a decision that will effect the rest of your life.
Do your studies and see what transpires.

Answer 4

Hi machang,
Sorry to say, long distance romances do not tend to work over a period of 4 years. Both of you have physical needs that need to be catered.
Reality is that after a certain time, there is a possibility of both partners going astray.
All the best!

Answer 5

You need to think about your girlfriend a lot. I understand that you are in love with her now, but if you stay for her, is that going to create resentment for you? What do you want to do? If you are willing to stay, it means you've obviously thought about it outside of the context of her. I would seriously evaluate how you feel. Don't worry about what she thinks now, but look at how you feel. If you want to stay, then stay. But if you want to go, and will regret it if you don't, then you have to go and hope that everything works out.