I'm engaged but I don't want to change my last name to "casternopoulos" what the hell should i do?

Question

don't get me wrong i love my guy but his last name goes badly enough with my first name which is Esperanza. It just seams completely sexist for women to have to change there names. Am I wrong for feeling this way?

Answer 1

Its your name, and there is no compulsion to change it if you get married. In my country where I live, people change their cast (Surname) or Last Name after marriage but it is not mandatory even in the eyes of Law. You have to chose how you want to be called.

Answer 2

As others have said, no, you most certainly do not have to change your last name. Your fiancé should understand this, and not insist that you change it.

I do want to add, however, that I think Esperanza Casternopoulos is a very cute name! : D If I knew you, I would probably insist on addressing you by your full name all the time (even though you might want to eventually slap the s*** out of me for doing so)!

Answer 3

you need to have study the finished article. The sixth paragraph/quote from the bottom reads, "college officials later had a replace of heart, yet Hell now says there is not any way he will ever enrol his son there." As you will see that, college officials although more beneficial about their selection, and rightly so i'd upload, yet now that's the Hell kin refusing to bypass to the faculty now that he has been allowed to signal up. For the record, Christianity does not practice recognition. It teaches tolerance. recognition and tolerance are 2 diverse issues. To invoke "recognition" ability I as a Christian ought to settle for one's sins besides because the sinner. to acceptable invoke "tolerance" is to settle for the sinner yet not the sins. thus, basically having the superb call "Hell" does not characterize tolerance. i'm satisfied to work out the faculty officials had a replace of heart on the count number.

Answer 4

As a Florist and Wedding Planner its common now days that the young lady keep her maiden name. Or in some cases some brides choose to take their husbands last name and never droping their maiden name. You see this world wide such as Hillary Roddem Clinton.
My last name has never been drop and is still on my drivers liecence and Ive been married for 27 years. I would however discuss this with your husband to be cause some have a major problem with you not using their last name.
Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 5

I don't think it's sexist at all to change your name. If you don't want to change your name, then don't but it's not sexist. If he's forcing you to because you're a lowly woman and you don't have anything to your last name THEN it's sexist. There is nothing sexist about a meaningless tradition. If you're so caught up with what people think about your name, maybe you're still too immature to get married...You are who you are no matter what your name is!

Answer 6

I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with a woman not wanting to change her name with marriage. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. I think that it is old-fashioned and sexist to change your name just because it's tradition. If you WANT to change it, then by all means do. But it sounds like you don't really want to. I mean, you are getting married, not adopted, so it isn't really "required." You know?

I have a beautiful Hispanic maiden name that goes great with my first name. My husband's last name is of Scandinavian decent. I love my maiden name -- so I kept it by hyphenating it because I also love my husband's name. That is what worked well for me. You just need to figure out what works well for you! Good luck!

Answer 7

I did not change my name when I got married 20 years ago. We are still happily married. My guy is fine with this. I would definitely discuss it with your fiance to make sure he's ok with it. You are not wrong for your feelings. I explained it to my husband that my name is part of me. It is who I am and then I asked him how he would like it to change his name to mine. Then he understood that your name is uniquely yours so he was fine with it.

FYI -- You will have a lot of people ask you why you didn't change and will get some flack from insurance companies, etc, but don't let that bother you. This is none of their business so you can either answer or give them a stare -- as if "why is it important for you to know my business." That usually fixes things. Later there may be questions from your children about this. What I told my daughter was that daddy loves me and I love him and that's all that matters. I hope this helps. Giving away your name is like giving away part of you. If you don't want to, you shouldn't have to.

Answer 8

Absolutely not. This is a deeply personal choice for all women to consider. If you really don't want his last name, you really don't have to take it. I am getting married next year, and I am taking my fiance's last name because it is more important to him than it is to me. (and it helps that my last name gets butchered all of the time, and his is Bennett. :) )

Just talk to your fiance about it, and reassure him that it isn't anything he's done wrong. It's your personal choice, and if you want to keep your last name you have every right to keep it.

Now, having children is another story. If you are OK with his last name, giving it to your children should make him happy. Just make sure you discuss all of this before the wedding.

Good luck!

Answer 9

Don't change your last name. In America, the woman does not HAVE to change their last name. I know plenty of women who kept their last name after marriage. Personally, I changed mine because my maiden name was so hard to pronounce for a lot of people.

Answer 10

No, you're not wrong. Do what feels right for you. I know lots of women who didn't change their last names to their husbands. It's common for women who are established in business not to change their names.