I'm getting married how do i decide who in the wedding ?

Question

I have 5 daughters and i have 4women who want to be bridesmaids but i cant have everyone my daughter are 12,14,16,17,and 18 what do i do?

Answer 1

I'm assuming that this is a second wedding since you're already the mother of five girls. (Of course, I could be wrong, but you aren't clear about this.) If so, I think a small wedding party is in order. In your position, I would go one of two ways:

either

a. have all of your girls in your wedding party;

or

b. have your eldest be your honor attendant (your only attendant) and give the others prominent roles in the ceremony (doing readings, for instance).

You will have to coordinate the number of attendants with your husband-to-be, so he may be of some assistance in helping you decide the right course.

And even if this is your first wedding...I would still consider going with a smaller wedding party. I'm assuming that with children those ages, you are at least in your mid-30's. At some point the idea of having a huge wedding party just looks silly (this is strictly my opinion, and someone like Star Jones would surely disagree with me). I'm 36 and single (no kids), but if I ever marry, I would probably only have my sister as my honor attendant and that's it.

And as for those women clamoring to be bridesmaids...I find it very odd! The only reason to do this, as I see it, is to draw attention to THEMSELVES at the ceremony. If these women love you, they will want to HELP you in any way they can - not do something that ADDS to your pre-wedding stress levels by forcing you to whittle down a large pool of bridesmaid candidates. They do not have to be bridesmaids to help you with planning the ceremony (if you'd like their help), throwing you a shower and/or a bachelorette party, etc. I would never, ever ask to be included in somebody's wedding party, but would also never hesitate to offer my assistance. Really, that's very odd!

And congratulations!

Answer 2

Depends on the type of wedding you're planning on, however I think I'd look at family first as your first priority . You might want to choose your eldest daughter to be your maid of honour or perhaps that should go to your closest dearest friend, only you can decide that.

But I think not including your daughters in the wedding might be making the kind of statement to them you don't want to make. The younger ones could be junior bridesmaids and the two older ones bridesmaids.

If your women friends are mature they'll not hassle you over this. They can perhaps help in the planning of showers etc as young girls often don't know how to do things like this.

Weddings should be joyful celebrations without your adult friends getting all po'd because they aren't in the wedding party. Some can be greeters at the church welcoming the guests, some can be greeters at the reception welcoming guests before the reception line.

Congratulations and relax and have a great time at your wedding.

Answer 3

Just have your daughters . depending on where you live & the legal requirments for signing as a witness your oldest daughter may be of age - Here in Aus it is 18.
Tell your friends that you have decided not to have any other attendants; but if it is important to YOU to have them as part of it then you can have them involved in other ways
Check out other answers on here for suggestions e.g; readings etc.
I heard of a wedding where the bride asked her female guests to bring a single bloom of their favourite flower & they each handed that to the bride as she walked toward the celebrant & then her mother tied the flowers together to form the bouquet- you could do something along those lines - but maybe just ask those specific friends to bring the flowers - or have 1 do a reading ; 1 collect the flowers 1 help you get dressed ; 1 drive you to the ceremony venue
there are all sorts of options limited only by your imagination

Answer 4

Start with daughters. Ask them. about the 4 women, my sister had over 1000 guests invited to her wedding. She asked her friends to open the presents and place them on display while pictures were being taken. Then, for the reception, she and her husband walked through and looked at the gifts. Find some way to include them without actually being in the ceremony. Good luck.

Answer 5

when i husband and i got married we had 6 kids between the two of us..we had only the kids in the wedding party...my daughter was my maid of honor..my sons gave me away..my stepdaughters were bridesmaids and my step son was my husbands best man.. this is your wedding...i personally would have your daughters as bridesmaide...maybe the 18 year old as your maid of honor..i think its important for them to be made a part of this union!!

Answer 6

i would include the daughters first. then ask the women to play important roles in the wedding. im a wedding photographer and know how stressful the day can be. ask them to help with the plans. making sure the flowers are ready. the guest lists. caterers. deligate the responsibility. it will make your day easier and keep everyone happy and everyone will have played a major role in your wedding.

Answer 7

You should have your five daughters. Thats it... If you want the other women involved... They can take care of picking up the flowers or ask them to put together your favors. There are many tasks that I am sure they could help out with.

Answer 8

You said there are 4 women who want to be bridesmaids. Who do YOU want to be in your wedding? I would go with your girls. They will ALWAYS be in your life, and will remember how they felt being asked to be in your wedding.

I hate to say it, but friends can come and go. I no longer speak to my maid of honor because our lives moved in different directions.

Answer 9

you should just have all your kids in the wedding if they like the fellow you are marrying,

65% of second marriages fail, mostly because there is no time to grow together as you could starting new with no children,

so tell the older woman sorry and include your kids

Answer 10

Start with your daughters. If you can take all 5 that's perfect. If not, take the youngest and the oldest.