we were fighting and he had to much to drink ( he cant remember a thing) and he hit me, does this mean he is going to do it again? Im really scared - its the first time he has done anything like this in 5 months!! He said he cant remember and he cant believe that he could do something like that to me - but is this a acceptable excuse?
2006-12-28 00:20:47 · 79 answers · asked by Immortal 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
up to here ----- 71 answers.
So, just to surmise:
69 answers saying he is likely to do it again
2 answers say give him the benefit of the doubt.
all the answers with personal experience say he will do it again
It's your call
2006-12-28 03:00:17 · answer #1 · answered by SeabourneFerriesLtd 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
RUN!!! He will do it again. Saying he was drunk is NOT an excuse-not remembering a thing is NOT an excuse. There is NO excuse for something like that. Walk away now and don't even consider loking back. It's only been 5 months-sounds like his true colours to me! If he can do it once he can and probably will do it again-and guess what? He'll probably say he doesn't remember.
2006-12-28 07:11:59 · answer #2 · answered by Tiara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,
This is a good question indeed. I believe that if he had alcohol again he may do this if you get into another fight. Once something happens, it takes a VERY long time to build up that trust again. Like, do you trust him good enough to believe that he won't do that again. A lot of the time, if they did it once, they may do it again. If he was walking fine and didn't slur a lot of his words when he was talking, he wasn't that intoxicated then. His head would have been moving all over the place like Jack Sparrow does in the "Pirates of Caribean" movie. If none of that was there, I would say that he is creating exscuses so that this can be waved off. If he does it again, then I would say that he can be abusive. Hope this helps.
Wee Man.
2006-12-28 00:30:06 · answer #3 · answered by boychuka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No woman ever ends up an abusive relationship thinking it is one. It's small steps...and this can be the start.
I hope you leave him, however (to be pragmatic about this) I bet you love him and you hope that this is a one off. If he is a good man who loves you then he will be disgusted with himself, and willing to do anything to make it ok. If you feel that he deserves a seond chance then do it on your terms. Please listen to me here. Insist he gets help for his alcohol problem and his anger management problem. If he is unwilling to do this then it indicates that he does not love you enough in the right way.
Think about it another way - if you drank so much that you thumped you partner you would be willing to get help for it, cause it shows that there's a huge problem. Please, leave him if he will not get help. Leave him if he doesn't admit there's a problem.
You need to accept that, untreated, he will do this again. If you get him help (and he embraces it) then maybe he won't.
BUT, if it happens a second time...then leave. Cause after that point he's got you. He knows that you won't leave him, and he can do what he wants.
I'd beg you to tell you family about this (or friends you are close to). This isn't a thing YOU should be ashamed of - this is his shame. If you must stay with him then you owe it to yourself to be safe - and part of that is not being silent.
2006-12-28 13:59:59 · answer #4 · answered by Mango M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, he will hit you again. Don't believe what he says about not remembering. A friend of mine was seeing this guy that used that same line on her time after time, and she continued to buy it. She almost lost her life because of him. You might also want to find out if he is doing drugs. You need to leave immediately. No excuse is acceptable for this kind of behavior. Good luck.
2006-12-28 00:25:30 · answer #5 · answered by In love with Life 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
There is no excuse for hitting your partner and I'm sorry babe but you have to get out of this relationship now.
I know its the first time he has done it and you were both drunk but you are always going to have this in your head, especially when you guys are having a fight.
You cannot be with someone you are going to be scared of every-time you two have a disagreement.
You cant stop him form hitting other women but you can stop him from hitting you, get rid of him babe and find someone who wont use their fists to win an argument.
Good luck xxx
2006-12-28 00:44:36 · answer #6 · answered by anastacia500 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, there is NO excuse for hitting ANYONE, and yes if he hit you once he will do it again and have yet another excuse for doing so and on and on. Get out of this relationship before he puts you in the hospital.
2006-12-28 00:57:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes he will do it again. if hes done this before 5 months ago whos to say it wont hapen in another 5 motnhs or even in a shorter time? and also you stil have some idea of what you are doing if your drunk.. and also no girl deserves to be hit by a guy. you can do so much better. i hope you make the right decision.
all the best.
2006-12-28 00:29:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
it is not an acceptable excuse. if he gets drunk to the point he can't remember a thing especially something as striking another person then he has a problem and i think he would do it again drunk or not. i know that is not what you want to hear and I'm sorry but its true
2006-12-28 00:49:03 · answer #9 · answered by snowflakes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex tried to strangle me-I'd been with him 6 weeks,
Stupidly I married him and got pregnant.
When I was 7 months pregnant he tried to kick my daughter out of me.
After years of his alcohol abuse, and the neglect that went with it- I got out.He even used to wet himself.
I then got married to someone else who was mentally abusive, he was so selfish and had narcassistic tendancies, he made me so low that I ended up with severe depression.
He was so controlling, and me me feel so weak.
I basically ended up shut down, living 10 miles to the next town and completely reliant on him-
His temper was so explosive and he was so paranoid all the time.He even chased his boss with a machete.
I had to ask him if I could check my e-mails or my ebay account.
My point is never devalue yourself.
If you stay with him make sure he knows that he can never do it again.
Stay in control-
Tell him to give up the booze
If he loves you enough then he'll do anything to keep you.
You deserve to be treated like a princess.
Also I read one of your previous questions-
You are only 19, I was 19 when I got married the 1st time.
Am I right in thinking that you are living with him in his country [from a previous question]
I think he's trying to manipulate you, and trying to bring you down,
He will start making you depressed
Please honey you must, you must not make this easy for him.
They are so clever, he will try and bring you down as he has already crossed that line.
2006-12-28 00:25:03 · answer #10 · answered by Elle J Morgan 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Get out and stay out. If you stay with him he will think that its OK to hit you again because all he'll have to do is apologise.
You have the right to be treated with respect and not live a life of fear, when will the point when you say enough is enough, the 2nd time he does it, 3rd, 4th or 5th?
2006-12-28 01:22:26 · answer #11 · answered by simon m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋