I've known this woman for 9 years. Because of something that happened 8 years ago between me, one of my ex's and her, we haven't spoken until Sept 05. When we met up we cleared the air and are now close friends. I have liked her since Oct 05 and soon started falling in love with her. She knows this.
At first she became very distant and dismissive. Over the past year we've become even closer. I said to her that I should have known I'd never stand a chance. She said "Oh I don't know about that" and smiled sweetly at me.
About 6 months ago she started staying over, in my bed with me. Now it is almost every weekend. We've now slowly become closer physically. Only simple stuff like stroking etc. A couple of months ago she came back sober from a night out and tried for 45mins and eventually succeeded to remove my underwear whilst we were in bed. The day after she spent nearly 3 hours trying to persuade me to strip for her.
All along she has said nothing is going to happen!
2006-12-27 23:56:24 · 17 answers · asked by confused_friend 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
All of her friends don't know what is going on with her. She has even said to them she's not sure herself. She gets lots of offers from perfectly nice men, but keeps rejecting them for no apparent reason.
She has a four year old son. In a drunken moment in bed, she told me that she just wants to find a man who she finds attractive and has a great personality. She says she wants to settle down with someone before her son starts growing up properly. She has said she isn't attracted to me in the slightest.
She is very self-conscious about her body. I've seen everything from the waist down, and she doesn't even try to hide it anymore. She stills hides everything above her waist though. She tells me she doesn't want me to see her chest, which I've said is a bit silly given what else I've seen!
I've noticed her ways changing. Before if she had a problem with me she would just shout but no she comes to me and we talk things over.
She knows I'm in love with her and the feelings wont go....
2006-12-27 23:59:12 · update #1
When I try to talk to her she avoids the subject as best she can. She says she isn't interested but then acts in a completely different way.
We spent 5 hours together on xmas day and we were both really close.
I've since found out she made excuses to not see her friend that night but didn't tell her I went round. Her friend has even asked me if we got up to anything!
2006-12-28 00:02:01 · update #2
She also acts totally differently around me when we are alone. She is a lot closer. When we are with people she seems embarrassed almost.
I really don't think she is playing games, or if she is then I dont think she realises.
Her friends have suggested she likes me but is scared. Her last boyfriend was not nice and hasnt been involved with their son since her turned 1.
Sorry for the long question, but there's a lot going on!!!
2006-12-28 00:04:32 · update #3
shes not playing you , it seems to me that she fears a relationship because of her past i was like this many a time after the split up of my ex because he physically abused me i was so emotionally unstable that i had to seek counselling so that i could cope with looking after my then 6 month old whom is now fastly approaching six it took a while fort me to gain my confidence in motherhood and in my own body and i must say since i married my husband ive never felt better since he has given me the confidence i need. why dont you try encouraging her beauty do not tell her that she is being silly tell her how beautiful she is and how beautiful her personality is.
2006-12-28 00:17:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to seriously consider what is going on here. Stop chasing this woman. Stop all contact for a week or two, wait to see if she wants you, or she just has you around for comfort. She may realise that she is leading you on, but you need to put your foot down. Else, you will spend some time being used, only to be dropped when a suitable offer comes along. All the best!!
2006-12-28 00:14:07 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you should sit her down and talk this through with her. Explain how you feel and that things can't go on as they are; either you give it a go together or you are just friends, no staying over or stripping etc!
It seems to me that she is confused about what she wants and is, at the moment, using you until she makes her mind up and that isn't fair.
Good luck, I hope it works out for you
2006-12-28 00:03:04 · answer #3 · answered by lucyt20 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, she is playing head games with you. Have you sat down and talked with about this? If not, you need to. If you have, then you need to get out while you can and find someone else. If the games are being played now then later in the relationship they are going to happen as well. Find out where she thinks this relationship is going. You might want to pull back a little and evaluate it yourself and decide if she is the right one for you.
2006-12-28 00:05:33 · answer #4 · answered by jd77aets 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is going to happen with this woman, she is playing with you. She doesn't know what the hell she wants.
Tell her you want to be friends and nothing more. Make it clear.
Move on and start dating someone else, this woman will hurt you, but only if you give her the chance.
2006-12-28 00:03:18 · answer #5 · answered by Finlay S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this is a pretty confusing woman... u should ask her what's happening, does she want to be with you or not. If not, stay away from her, she'll only bring you confusion. If yes, tell her to cut the crap and to just relax. I hope all will be well.
2006-12-28 00:09:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hope it all works out for you. Until she knows what she wants I don't think it will. And when she does it's usually to late. I think (from experiance) that you'll eventually give up and find someone else and that's when she will realise that she wants to be with you. It'll be up to you wether to go to her. Fingers crossed you get it sorted
2006-12-28 00:19:42 · answer #7 · answered by Citizen Ted 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she really likes you but is scared of what might happen, when and if you become a couple it may ruin your close friendship if it were to go wrong, if you really like her tell her! she will come round to the fact that a friendship has blossomed into something more. good luck
2006-12-28 00:02:29 · answer #8 · answered by louise 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow she has some deep seeded issues that she obviously doesn't want to talk about or even recognise or your just a big security blanket till Mr right comes along i admire you for your patients you must really love her but you need to sort this out or it going to break your heart
2006-12-28 00:16:42 · answer #9 · answered by tbone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like she is just a teaser, if that is what you want, go for it, if you want a more meaningful relationship with someone, move on and leave this one alone.
2006-12-27 23:59:27 · answer #10 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋