What is the best way one can keep from saying anything negative?

Question

You would think it would be so easy, but it seems almost impossible to change that behaviour. Has anyone been negative and changed.

I'm talking about how to react when your brother in law tells you how he is making $100,000. and year while retired and his company is paying his health care. While we are paying over $10,000. a year in health care and seeing all our savings going because of a government that has sold out it's middle class. While friends brag how their stocks are going up and our family is fighting in Iraq for a war that we were lied into. Things like that.

It's my son and grandson fighting in Iraq. We are on medicare part B, Supplemental to pick up the 20% that medicare doesn't pay, and Part D drug plan. Sounds like a lot of help , but actually costs us over $10,000. a year. How can middle class retired people possibly keep this up?

Answer 1

Smile and don't say a word ; )

Answer 2

Jackie, first, don't ever think that your husband is not appreciated for the sacrifices he is making for our country. This is NOT a war that was lied about, although the media would have you believe that. I could go into detail, and remind you of all the things that had gone down leading up to it...back in the days of World War 11, men were dying at a rate of 10,000. a day...and Viet nam, 3000 a day...this has been the most strategically, best war ever fought on record of this country, with the smartest, best miliatary ever produced...Ignore the insensitivity of others at this time, people are always going to be rude and cruel,....I don't know why you are paying so much, if your husband is in the military?...But the main thing is, if you would feel better, you might just tell the person how YOU FEEL...about it...and let them know, that you really have things to worry about, and even though you don't think they meant harm, you really dont want to hear things like that right now...sometimes, honesty is the best policy..as for the war 'we were lied about?" I guess everyone forgets about the three thousand chemical warfare uniforms that were found in an abandoned hospitial in Iraq...I guess everyone forgets that the wmd were used in the eighties to destroy his own people as an experiment, and anyone who thinks he was not stockpiling them, and transferring them to Syria or Iran,..while he kept our weapons inspectors from tracking them down, is fooling themselves. Sadaam, did not wipe out a whole town and then say to himself, "well, gee, that works, so now I will forget about it..."..no dear, no matter what the media crazies try to tell you...your husband, and all the men and women who offered to keep this great country great, are not fighting in vain. We were bruttaly attacked, and just like an infected sore that has to draw the poison to the top, before it can heal,..we are over in Iraq on a fantastic mission...Sadaam can no longer murder and torture anyone,..almost all of the terrorists have been caught, or killed..Afaganistan people are on their way to freedom, so are the Iraqi's, and your husband is responsible, for saving the lives of many people around the world who were living in fear under a hitler type monster...To answer your question then, my advice is simple...tell them like it is...you are not saying anything negative, you are letting them know, that even though they might not like their life the way it is, there are others out there who truly are suffering worse, at least for the time being. God Bless you through Jesus, and may They keep your husband safe, and your family...And thank him for me...(assuming you are referring to your husband, but whoever it is fighting for us, thank them..)...Well, thank your son, and grandson, for their selfless, honorable, sacrifice, so that people like me, can sit here on the computer all day, and play and feel safe that no one is going to attack us again...God Bless you and yours, Jackie...xxx..I wish I could help you myself..but can't even afford my own insurance..maybe they should stop giving it to all the illegals, sorry, i feel bad for them, but we as Americans should always come first....take care of your own, I say, then help others.

Answer 3

Yes, I've trained myself at various times to say only positive or informational things, not to criticize or blame others. But the type of person I am makes it very difficult - definitely not Little Miss Sunshine. I have periods of success when I remember to take a few minutes before I speak and answer the 3 Questions: "Is it true?"
"Is it kind?" and "Is it necessary?" Anything I say must answer the 1st question before I say it. After that, if it's kind, it doesn't have to be necessary. If it's not kind, it must be necessary to prevent someone from being hurt or duped.

Answer 4

Many of these things you mentioned are too big for us to have a control over. We don't know why many things seem to be unfair. I'm sure your brother-in-law has other problems of his own, which he doesn't say. Im sure too that you have some days where you are happy despite your troubles. Focus on what you have, not what you don't. Perhaps you might find something there to be thankful for.

Answer 5

No, it isn't impossible...it just takes a little self discipline. It can be done. Before speaking, hesitate and think of what you're going to say before saying it. I like to keep these two key phrases in mind when I interact with others:
"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people".....Eleanore Roosevelt

"Practice the three R's....
Respect for self;
Respect for others,
Responsibility for one's own actions"
....Dali Lama

Keep in mind that you have full control over who you are at any given point. You ultimately decide how you're going to interact with people. Believe me, I came from a background that was very negative and I did change my habits!! It can be done.

Answer 6

The second you catch yourself saying an ugly, say something good about the thing you spoke negative about. example:
"Look at Johnny. What a stupid idiot he is." I MEAN
"Look at johnny, what a smart guy he is. He just did something really stupid"
"I hate you, you dumb MF" I MEAN " I love you, but i hate what you just did"
"You always do that. Why do you always F every thing up"? I MEAN
"I notice you tend to do this alot. Can i Help you with this"?
"Damn, What a ugly B itch she is today" I MEAN " She is usually really attractive. I guess shes not feeling well"
BEST OF LUCK TO YOU WITH THIS

Answer 7

Think positive 24/7. That's what I do and when everyone is happy, so am I.

Answer 8

sometimes If I am In a foul mood I an negative. try to remember that people do not want to hear neg BS and try to think of pleasant topics to discuss and think before you talk "will this sound negative?"

Answer 9

My mother has always told me if I can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. I try to be tactful ( not one of my biggest traits though)

Answer 10

Think For 10 Seconds ....and say " MMMMMmmmmmmmmm" !