She is always trying to be one-up on me. My in-laws, her family (husband and kids) are very fond of me and i get along well with them. But she is always trying to run me and my family down (her own brother and my kids). It becomes difficult to attend any social functions with her around. I think she is a bit jealous that i get along well with everyone, something she has not been able to do with her in-laws. But how do I tackle this situation?
2006-12-27 22:29:39 · 19 answers · asked by Aarti 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You've already "tackled" the situation. It's just as you perceived. She's jealous and vindictive because you are well liked and you get along with the rest of the family. So just continue to be yourself and don't compromise your behavior in spite of her rude behavior. The others are well aware of what she is like and what she is trying to do to you. She isn't fooling anyone. Let them also see how decent you treat her. In time her behavior will change and her ill wind will blow itself out.
2006-12-27 22:57:54 · answer #1 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take her out sometimes and talk to her about all the specific issues that made you upset, and let her know that you are genuinely interested in a good relationship with her. Ask her if your behavior bothered her in any way, if so tell her yo will be care ful in the future, now that you know of what upsets her, remind her that to have frictions is normal and friction is good because the rough edges vanish after sometime, Remember to wish her on her birthdays, all this is only to improve your relationship with her if you dont want to then just ignore her or make conscious effort not to cross paths.
2006-12-28 21:14:01 · answer #2 · answered by thachu5 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Continue being who you are. Treat her with respect. When she starts trouble then walk away. Ignore her. It's very childish to behave in this manner. All you need to care about is you and your family. If you have not problem with anyone else in the family, then she is the one with the problem. Let her deal with it. If it gets too much to bare, then take her to the side and in a non-confrontational manner ask her what is bothering her and if there is something you can do to help. Kill her with kindness. Always works. If she is beyond that, like I said before. Ignore, ignore, ignore.
2006-12-28 06:34:03 · answer #3 · answered by BluePassion 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ya best way is not to IGNORE them.
Instead try to win over them !!! Behave normally as you do for most of the time, their behaviour if remains the same, use harsh words and pour out all that you have in your mind.
Immediately be the same old loving lady !!! The very next Minute.
Never let anybody know what you are ??? Best way to tackle diffcult, nagging persons.
This is what I can understand from life till date !!!
Best of Luck !!!
2006-12-28 06:38:13 · answer #4 · answered by romesh_model 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jealousy is a very bad thing. You must walk away from her, try to keep your lives seperate and this then will stop conflict. If she does meet you and start on you, say to her politely there is help you can get with jealousy, there are good Doctors around you know. Then, walk away before any more conversation can be conducted. That should get her thinking
2006-12-28 18:22:56 · answer #5 · answered by rockandrollrev 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ignore her, don't let it get to you, it will wind her up much more, and sooner or later, others as well, and they will rally around to defend you in time. In fact you could start calling her 'Annie' as in anything you can do--- I can do better - Oakley. - do it with a nice warm smile, and laught off her little digs.
I did a similar thing to my Sister in law, who was and still is an evil *****, her problem is she used to walk around with a face like it had just been slapped with a wet kipper, and moan about everything I every done, when we were gathered at social gatherings.
I used to tell her, in a nice warm smiley face, that he looked like Ian Paisley, when she was on her high horse. And I used to do a nice impersonation of him, with her words, She stopped unloading at social occasions when at some wedding, even her friends started calling her Mrs Paisley as a joke. She just dosn't speak to me now, which I find to be a much nicer setup.
2006-12-28 06:40:42 · answer #6 · answered by DAVID C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh, yeah==i am sure of it. how can she not be jealous of you??
she is probably used to being in the drivers seat and now you've come into the family and are one-upping her in every way.!!!!!!
and she probably thinks that you are stealing her thunder as well.
you need to cut this off at the pass.....or you and your family will definately be feeling realy bad in a very short amount of time.
i really do wish you the best of luck with this one.......oh she sounds like a real pain in the a*s.......
2006-12-28 06:48:52 · answer #7 · answered by sweetness #1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is really dificult situation. My best bet is you talk to her family i.e. your husband, her mom and dad and her husband (in short your husband and in-laws) ask them if they have noticed what you are facing and how do they think you should handle her. just be carefull not to critisise her in front of them coz they might not like it (especially her husband wont) just ask them if you have done something to irritate her or something and how can you make her feel cofertable in front of you (believing that she is actually jelous of you and hac no othe problem.
2006-12-28 07:03:36 · answer #8 · answered by urfriendfrlife 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find that being very, very nice works well with people like this. Everyone else can see that she is acting like a jerk, and that you are not. She will either learn her lesson, or leave you alone.
2006-12-28 07:22:20 · answer #9 · answered by Nosy Parker 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely ignore her. Act like it doesn't even bother you. Smile! When you react to her you are giving her exactly what she wants. The more you give into those feelings the more she will taunt you.
2006-12-28 06:33:53 · answer #10 · answered by Lisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋