Should I Tell My Step-Sis That I've Been With Her Husband?

Question

I know what i done was stupid now but at the time it felt like the right thing to do. My step sis and her husband are about 16 years older than me so i would stay over their house alot of the time. When i was 11 my bro-in-law expressed his interest in me. It freaked me out at the time but when i was 15 his praise and attention were appreciated and i ended up losing my virginity to him. We slept together every weekend until i turned 16. I was guilty, he wasnt he wanted to continue but i didnt so i moved outta home to get away from him. Im now 19 and have a neice who's now the age i was when me and him first done it and im scared that he'll seduce her but at the same time i cant tell anyone about me and him cos it will break up my whole family and ill be the isolated one. He calls me a **** now and says that i just used him and that he really loved me, he also says that if it ever gets out he'll kill himself cos he'll go to jail. I dont want him to suffer, I dont hate him. Wat to do?

Answer 1

omg are you more worried about yourself being isolated or that little girl getting hurt. you deffinetly need to tell someone asap. even if its not your sis let someone no how know's if he hasnt already tried something like this on that little girl call the police it is the right thing to do your sis will thank you later for protecting that little girl even if she does hate you for a while tough it out. if he suffers he suffers he brought this on himself and no he didnt love you if he did he wouldnt have seduced you when you were so young and he knew right from wrong obviously with that age difference. even if you dont hate him do what you think is right.and it sounds like you should do somehting about it NOW

Answer 2

I think I would want to get some counseling to determine how I felt and what I think about this.

A man that old should never express that type of interest in an 11-year-old girl. At 15, that still sounds like the power and age difference was too great. I would say that you have a very valid concern about your niece and this man.

You know something that could greatly affect your niece's life and well-being.

He could be calling you up and blaming you because he knows that he did something wrong with you.

Threatening to kill himself can be a tactic, in this context, to control your actions.

I would really seek some counseling advice. If you have insurance, you can seek the appropriate referrals, or if not, there are some low-cost options out there.

I would want some further help to sort this out.

It is a stressful situation and it is not your fault this happened.

Answer 3

This man is a pedophile!!! You need to tell someone. He is also playing with your head. What man in his right mind would be attracted to an 11 year old child. You are not to blame for this. Let's get this right from the start. He is telling you these things now because he is probably scared that you will expose him. But he needs to be exposed. You may not be the only child he did this to. Your step-sister may end up being hurt by this, but think of how many other children he may be hurting. Do they have children together? You're telling someone about this is not going to break up your family. HE is the one that has no regard for his family. Whatever you do, please find a way of telling someone. Go to counseling for yourself if you have to.

Remember, this is not YOUR fault!

Answer 4

Well you are both at fault, but I would say he is really the one to blame!! He was way older and knew you were in your teen years(where you would get caught up in the moment) I think you should not be to hard on yourself! And if you feel your family will fall apart then just don't say anything! But just make sure that you do talk to your neice about being in a situation like that, you wouldn't want her to be in the same boat as you!! Hope everything works out!!

Answer 5

A typical ploy of a pedophile is to use guilt or threats to hide thier actions. Sure as a young person the affection of an older person is most welcome, even to the point of sex, but it is the olders persons responsibility NOT to abuse the younger by offering or engaging in sex. As a "Step-Brother" he should be off limits just like any other family member. You are talking about over 6 years ago, and that is a hard case to get into court, but trust me they WILL throw his ass in jail for it. Now, what about you, are you permiscous now, do you have sexual issues, how are your relationships going?

All of these things are factors in your life that this guy has altered forever. Seek out therapy, and make him pay for it. Once you go to therapy, if you tell the therapist anything about him or this issue, she is legally obliged to notify the authorities, and will do so.

Personally if you were my daughter and I found out about this, he wouldn't have to kill himslef, 'cause I would do it for him. He is a sick SOB and deserves whatever he gets. Scumbags like that mess up so many people in the world by not controlling thier sex drive.

In no way shgould you blame yourself for his predatory, and sick actions. You were just a girl, and not able to make up your mind back then thats why it is illegal for minors to have sex!

You have two choices, forget about it, and never talk to him again, or let the cat out of the bag. Either way you will have issues.

Good luck to you

~Moose

Answer 6

This is a tough one, if it were me, I wouldn't say anything, but I tend to keep a lot of things to myself. That's not always a good thing. Being that you know his tactics on how he seduced you, is there any way that you can non chalantley (spelling?) question your niece about it? Maybe try and have a conversation with her, to advise her on the dangers of having unprotected sex and being safe? You know a person's intuition goes very far. If there's something going on there with your niece, if you offer yourself as a friend, eventually she'll open up to you. Another suggestion would be to talk to a professional about all this.

Answer 7

You've got to be kidding me. You were practically a child this man never loved you. He sexually abused you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You shouldn't protect him. Do you want this to happen to your niece. He seduced you. You were not in the wrong. He is 16 years older than you. He used you and not the other way round. So what if he goes to jail...you can't protect this man. How many other innocent girls will have to suffer because you don't want him to suffer. I feel for you I honestly do and it angers me that this man is still manipulating you even after all this time.

Answer 8

He's a child molestor, a predator of young girls. You are probably not the first and you won't be the last, he is sick.
Please tell your step-sister. You were a child when this occurred. Talk to your parents.
Go see a therapists. You need to talk to someone and please don't believe this so-called man's BS, and that is what BS.
Wake up, grow up and do the right thing before some other innocent girl goes through the same things as you.

Answer 9

You need to report it because he has to be stopped & he will try to get at the niece
if he loved you would he call you a **** NO that is so untrue he is just a pedophile!!
You were a child so don't be hard on yourself you may still feel guilty but don't he was the adult & 16 years older than you.
your step sister needs to know what a creep he is
She will not like you until she understands it was not your fault

Answer 10

i don't know what to say. on one hand if you don't say anything your niece will never know what happened and she won't get hurt.
on the other hand i think that your sister deserves to know what class of a husband she has. i think that you should think a lot before you decide and that you should tell your sister the truth. anyway is your choice. i also think that your sister's husband has most of the blame because he seduced you. You were just 11. And it's not entirely your fault, although you could have just said no