A fellow walked into his doctor's office, complaining that he thinks he might have a tapeworm. The doctor made a physical examination & said,
"I want you to come back tomorrow to start treatment. Bring a banana & a cookie with you."
Despite the odd request, our hero complied & returned the next day with a banana and a cookie.
Doctor: "Okay, drop your pants & bend over. This is going to hurt a bit."
Although stunned by the turn of events, the patient dropped pants bent over. The doctor peeled the banana and rammed it up the guy's @ss. While the doctor consulted his watch, our hero danced around the room, screaming his head off.
After a minute the doctor ordered him to bend over again. This time the doctor took the cookie and rammed It up the patient's @ss.
"Okay, tomorrow I want to see you here at the same time. Don’t forget the banana and cookie." said the doctor. The now humbled patient, with tears of pain in his eyes, nodded his head.
The next day, the same routine ensued. First the doctor rammed up a banana, waited exactly one minute, then rammed up the cookie. And the next day, and the next day and the next...!!
Every day UP went a banana, waited one minute, then UP went the cookie.
After a week of treatment, the doctor finally said, "Tomorrow‘s the last day of treatment. I want you to bring in a banana & a hammer."
"Not a cookie?" asked the very frightened patient.
"No, a hammer." confirmed the doctor.
On the last day, the doctor said, "Okay, you know the routine".
So the man dropped his pants & bent over. UP went the banana, & the doctor looked at his watch and picked up the hammer. One minute passed. Then two minutes. Three, Four minutes passed.
Finally, a little head poked out of the patient's @ss.
"WHERE'S MY COOKIE???"
**WHAM**
2006-12-27 22:20:42 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
OMG my sides are hurting I am laughing so hard. ROFLMAO
2006-12-27 22:45:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
gOOd try, @ the same time I had one to share with everybody here. Hope you don't mind.
The Escaped convict
A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." "If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain... do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"
His wife responds:
"He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear." "He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too."
2006-12-28 00:12:27 · answer #2 · answered by Coldie 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Did you made that up? Damn' it's good! lol
For making me laugh, let me repay you with my original piece made 2 days ago, with what else (sigh)...a blond joke:
In a Sky jumping school, all students were readying for their very first jump. Naturally, all were excited and nervous. With their plane aloft at 8,000 ft, the Jump Master made a final reminder:
So girls and boys, this is it!. Remember what I've been telling you all along...forget your 'Altimeter'...on your descent when you see People on the ground starts to look like Ants, that's the time you open your chute...OK? Everybody nodded.
A little while later, all 20 students were out of the plane. One by one, their chutes began to pop up like mushrooms over the sky...except for Blond jumper. To the horror of her jump mates and the crowds below, blond jumper chute didn't open and she went free falling to the ground. Thud!!!
>>>Fast Forward to Heaven's Gate, with St. Peter screening all new comers>>>
Blond's turn now:
ST. PETER: So, what are you IN for?
BLOND: We'll.. I fell from a plane
ST. PETER: I know, based on your files, you forgot to open your chute?
BLOND: No, I was all the while focused on the way down
ST. PETER: Then why did you not open your chute?
BLOND: I tried, but I guess it was too late
ST. PETER: Hmmm, that's strange. It also says in your record you're clean of drugs and the chute's not defective...
BLOND: (adding with conviction)...and I followed the jumpmaster's instruction to the letter
ST. PETER: (who's about to close the book and call it a day, puzzled, looked at blond)..so, what about the instruction?
BLOND: ...to open my chute when I see Ants on the ground starts to look like People....
lapuks2000@yahoo
2006-12-27 23:30:18 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Kite 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny but sick! 8/10. Good laugh!
2006-12-27 22:28:07 · answer #4 · answered by cats 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wahahah!! 9.5/10
2006-12-27 22:25:03 · answer #5 · answered by Paula 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I give that a 10. LMAO
2006-12-27 22:23:40 · answer #6 · answered by Big C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not bad
7/10
2006-12-27 22:34:50 · answer #7 · answered by kicking_back 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ummmmm . . . I understood it but I didn't find it amusing.
2006-12-28 02:12:11 · answer #8 · answered by Jayna 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
VERY FUNNY.....BUT I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A BANANA IN MY *** NOW!
2006-12-27 22:47:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good one
but sick
2006-12-27 23:01:15 · answer #10 · answered by nsh_rulz 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋