When you date someone with children,most of the time you can become attached to them.But what if it is'nt working out between the two of you,but you still want to be in the kids lives?
2006-12-27 20:33:54 · 3 answers · asked by Smooth 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Im in this relationship with this female who has a one year old daughter.I became highly involved in the childs life despite the fact that me and her mother was not happy.I know deep down in my soul that I love this little girl like she was my own,but yet I can't be with her mother..it's just now working out.We dont talk anymore and she is extremely selfish.Is it selfish of me to want to be in her daughters life,and not be in her mothers?
2006-12-28 16:08:39 · update #1
First you have to determine if this break up is mutual. If you have been contemplating a break up the other person most likely senses this, especially if you are arguing alot, but you need to come clean tell this person that you dont feel that this relationship is working out and you no longer want to be in it, explain why it isnt workingout and this is the way you feel. also tell them the things that you do like about them, fun times you have had and you will always have those good memories but that you are not the one for them and it would be unfair to them if you pretended to be happy in this relationship and continued, tell them how much you care for the children and that your hope is you can remain friends. this may not be possible if this person believes that they still have a chance in getting back together they may need time to get over you and still theres no gaurentee that you will be able to continue a relationship with the children, your presnce may make it difficult for the other person to establish a new relationship with you still around..so maybe you can slowly ween yourself away from the children and spend less time with them but, let them know you love them, kids generally dont care about your relationship with mom but, your relationship with them is what's important they dont want to lose a friend and the mother should understand this. what ever the mom's decision is concerning the kids you must except and move on please do not let this go on any longer honesty is the best policy in this situation and more than likely someones going to be hurt ...most likely everone evnvolved will be in one form or another. these kids deserve someone who'd going to be around for the long haul and so does she, think about it and if your sure whats wrong in this relationship cant be fixed.....then move on and spare this family anymore pain.
2006-12-27 21:14:49 · answer #1 · answered by quietstorm 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The answer is "it depends". It depends on how old the children are. It depends on how close you have become to them. It depends on a lot of factors. The best thing to do is to make it quick and let the mother of the children explain to the children that it has nothing to do with them, etc. But, it needs to be explained so the kids know that it isn't them, even if it "is" them. I think you should just talk with the parent, explain that it isn't working out but that you do love and care about her children and hope that she explains to them that it is not their fault and that it's just a simple matter of the two of you, as adults, not being in the same place in your lives right now.
2006-12-28 04:37:17 · answer #2 · answered by achristian520 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is tough...the age of the children often determines what will happen. You can put it behind you...but the children can't. I do not envy your situation good luck
2006-12-28 04:37:13 · answer #3 · answered by Wat Da Hell 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋