do u discipline your child?

Question

and do people around you(family or friends)approve of your stand for swatting or no swatting of your child?

just curious...cuz i hv 5 ...yes i sd 5 children and I do "spank" not beat,LOL, and I hv a respect from my children that most parents do not hv bcuz of the lack in loving their child w/ disc.....after all how r they gonna knw if their doing wrong if they dnt have a lil pain inflicted on the cushiest part of their body.LOL...it also says in the Bible that you even hate your child if you do not use "the rod of correction". God sd that, not me, just quoting in my own words, what the scripture has to say bout it. there is a diff. between "beating your child" out of anger versus satting them bcuz they nd you to knw that you care bout the wrong and right things that they so choose in this life of their, cuz when they get older they will go to jail if they "break the big peoples rules" do u agree or disagree w/ me.

commenting on Elena: THE ROD------------here are some verses from the Bible and what GOD has said on this issue

"He that spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes(Prov.13:24)

what God says goes exactly opposite to the feelings of many parents and educators. the passage clearly states that a failure to apply the rod is due to the parents hating the child. "No!' cries a mother, "I love my child too much to spank him." The parent who responds like this does not understand: 1) the authority of God's word,2) the nature of love,3)his(or her) own feelings,4) the character of God,5)the needs of the child.

The same exact God who said: "Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not.....(Mark 10:14)," also said:

"Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying(Prov. 19:18)."

"He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes(Prov. 13:24)."

"Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but hte rod of correction shall drive it far from him (Proverbs 22:15)."

"Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die, Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shall deliver his soul from hell (Prov. 23:13-14)."

"The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame (Prov. 29:15)."

"Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul (Prov. 29:17)."

I am not trying to change anyones minds on this matter, just seeing where people stand.....I guess that makes me a fool....bcuz I actually blieve God and not man.....the Bible is an instuction manual of life. God put it into our hand to use, not as an alternative, but for us to pick up and actually read and blieve that HE knows better about us than we do. Man has tied to take HIS authority away, by trying to do away w/ His word being Truth and Holy. After all He created us.....I think I will just stay that fool( in so many peoples eyes) bcuz I care bout what God thinks of me, not what man thinks. After all, I am just a steward of my children for God, they r not my children, but HIS. The least I can do , is to raise them for HIM, and HIS ways work,mans ways are deceiving. They may seem like the end result will be better, but look at how mans way is working......just look at the children behavior these days. Let God be true, and every man a liar.

Answer 1

God said, "spare the rod, spoil the child!" I believe the problem with kids running wild these days is because parents are suddenly afraid of what others will think if they spank their child. As I explain it to people who disagree with me....You're not doing it hard enough to hurt them, you do it to make them think twice, the next time. They are your children, your responsibility. Tell those who but in (no pun intended) to take care of their own responsibilities. (I know, easier said than done, huh?)
Good luck!

Answer 2

About spanking and swatting,I totally agree with Elena's opinion.I have 7 children(and 8th on the way) and I've never spanked or swatted any of them,simply because I have effective discipline methods and know what 'discipline' actually means.Spanking and swatting don't learn your child.These only punish him/her for the made mistakes and are used as a vent for the parent's anger.Violence(beating, spanking, swatting, slapping,etc.) discourage the child and makes him/her less confident.Such children are tend to find aggressive spouses in their life and consider violence as acceptable means of solving the problems.Children who are being slapped, spanked, beat, don't have lasting(durable) change in behavior - parents continue spank them regularly and nothing changes.Punishing methods often suggest our children unforeseen lessons:to behave as they want (bad) when they are not threatened with punishment or spanking;to revenge on you,to think about the "big bad parent" instead of thinking about their behavior which has caused the punishment.Spanking hides some problems.After some time passes,spanking loses the effectiveness(which some parents surprisingly find in it) and there is one moment when the child grows in lenght and weight,when spanking is physically impossible (unfeasible).
It's absolutely possible to teach and bring up children without spanking them,yelling at them,taking their toys away,etc.It's possible not to punish them but to make the responsible,kind people.I see you have problems with discipline(as long as you have to resort to for violence and physical methods) or you don't know simple things about discipline(I'm not sure which one is about you),so I suggest you can buy some book about it.In her answer,Elena offered you to read 'Positive Discipline for Preschoolers'.I have read that book and I think it would be in great use and advantage for you.
Oh,and another thing.I saw a little disagreement between you and Elena about The Rod.I have read the Bible as I can see you have.Except the thing about the rod,there are written many other things - one of the rules - "Don't lie".Don't you lie?Say "YES" and I'm going to shoot myself.Another thing - there is written that women have to obey men and men say everything which will happen in the family.Is that way in YOUR family?Does your husband say what you will do without even talking with you about it?If YES,then I can't blame you about the missing effective means of discipline - you have a lot more important things to improve in yourself.
what am I trying to say is not to throw off the Bible.The things about family written inthere are about the patriarchal time.Now things are different.There are no more patriarchal families and it's absolutely understoodable why means of discipline suggested by the Bible are changed with more effective ones.
in the end,I would suggest you see that site http://positivediscipline.com/ .You can ask questions there,read about discipline,etc.
Oh,and another thing - I don't know if you have noticed but I saw that every one answer has at least 3-4 thumbs down...Why would be that?And why Elena has only one thumb down and...let's see...3-4 thumbs up?Maybe it's not only me who agrees with her.Think about it.

Answer 3

Elena And Julia are right.I have a 3-year-old daughter who was born when I was 15.Till now I haven't stricken at her and will never do it.There are effective methods which I prefer to none-effective like spanking and other like this.'Positive Discipline for Preschoolers' is a really important book for every parent.I have read it and about 12 other books for parenting.The means of discipline included in the mentioned book are the most effective and (which is most important) make sense!
All parents try to do their best—but the best of intentions don't always produce the best results. Dr. Jane Nelsen, an experienced psychologist, educator, and mother, believes that children misbehave when they feel thwarted in their need to belong and in their need for love and attention. An authoritative approach, using phrases like "Because I said so!", will only lead to rebellious behavior. Instead, parents need basic principles that bring them and their children closer. They need Positive Discipline. Dr. Jane Nelsen explains that parents who use kindness and firmness to teach life skills will encourage self-respect, self-discipline, cooperation, good behavior, and problem-solving skills in their children. In Positive Discipline, revised and updated for the next decade, she shows all of us, parents and teachers alike, exactly how her practical program works-answering, step-by-step, such important questions.
"I Was Punished, and I Turned Out Just Fine"

An excerpt from “Parents Who Love Too Much” by Jane Nelsen and Cheryl Erwin.

How fine is “fine”? Fine is relative. Yes, most of us turned out just “fine.” We can laugh at some of the punishments we received as a child--and even say we deserved them. However, if we had been allowed to learn from our mistakes instead of being made to pay for them, is it possible we might be even better than “fine”?

Punishment is designed to make children “pay” for their mistakes. Discipline that teaches (the definition we prefer) is designed to help children learn from their mistakes in an atmosphere of encouragement and support.
http://positivediscipline.com/

Answer 4

Yes, I discipline my two-year old son. He definitely has moments of defiance, and if I don't start training him now on how to behave, he will become a terror.

We have been disciplining him since he was very young to help him learn how to be safe and to know what is appropriate behavior. He is learning that he can't yell at us when he is frustrated, and we don't yell at him. Cry when frustrated? Sure. That's appropriate. Scream? No. Ask for help? Absolutely!

We would swat his hand when he touched something that wasn't safe or that he could break.

We have received compliments time and again for how well-behaved, sweet and happy our little boy is. He is far from perfect, and we are far, far, far from perfect as parents. It's been quite a learning process, and there have been mistakes along the way. Hmm...and he is only 2 years old. Oy! I'm sure there will be many more lessons along the road.

Answer 5

Yes, a swat when needed never hurt them, and as far as my friends, they were my kids and I didn't care what they thought. I could take my kids anywhere ( had 4 ) and never heard oh no here comes those kids, because my kids new they would be told once to stop, and they knew if they didn't what would follow. Either it would be standing in a corner or a swat, and it didn't matter where we were. I think what ever form of discipline you use it has to be consistent,( If its no once its always know.) For instance, if they touched Grandma's favorite pretty, and it was no no it always was no no. I ask that people didn't pick up there things, I made my kids leave it alone.

Answer 6

yes i disipline my child. when there little i tell them repeatedly and show them mommy says no thats bad or dont touch it will give you an owee. when there a little older its a time out. when they are school age then its put your nose on the wall. if all this doesnt work i tell them to knock it off or they will get a spanken. if that doesnt work i do swat there hand only hard enough to mean bussiness and hurt there pride. my older girls well no point in spanking there almost as big as me so i take stuff away like there tv's, dvd players, ipods, stuff like that. as for my friends and family. yes they aprove and believe i should spank my children more often as my kids are brats but hey this is working so far for us and i hated getting spanked. but it usually only took once or twice till i was older then i got slapped. i know how it feels to be the child hating my mother for slapping me i dont ever want my child to look at me that way nore feel that way.

Answer 7

As a general rule, we do not spank our kids. However, there have been a couple of occasions when we have felt that it was the necessary punishment because of the severity of the behavior. For the most part, everyone agrees with our belief. However, there was one instance when my daughter had to be spanked at 3 years old, and my parents threw a fit because they felt she should be given a break since it was Christmas Day. However, we did not waiver in our decision and she never acted like that again. Both of my kids are excellent, well-behaved kids and I firmly believe that some of that has to do with the fact that they did occasionally get a smack on the hiney!

Answer 8

You are right that spanking is effective if you are only interested in the transitory effect.By spanking you will put an end to disobedience - for the current moment.Sometimes we have to be careful when executing means of 'discipline' which later will have negative effect.Do you really think that your children respect you or they are just afraid of you?What is the personal example which you show them?You are rather teaching them that it's normal for big people to beat little people.You suggest them that it's not safe to make mistakes and they are not allowed to learn from these mistakes.The longlasting effects of your attitude will be these:You kids won't be brave enough to take risks or will take risks rashly,to spite you,without estimating the consequences(being afraid of the spanking or the punishment doesn't make one child think of the consequences of his/her behavior but just to be afraid of the punishment).
If I was a gambling person,I would guess that your children will turn out as malcontents or as creatures absolutely dependent of somebody else's approval.You will ake your children lie you and be secretive in order to avoid the spanking or punishments.
Children are not adults and they don't figure out things the same way as adults do.Studyings confirm that children who have been beat are more likely to beat when they grow up.Violence leads to violence.Most parents don't want to make their children aggressive.It's interesting that people often spank children because they have been aggressive.Did you notice the contradiction?Parents sometimes spank the young child and say "That will make you not to beat your younger sister anymore!"Really?The child probably thinks a lot of things but none of them makes him not to hit his sister.Here are some of his conclusions:
1."This adult is dangerous.I'll be careful about him not to see me what am I doing,so he won't spank me again(I'll be "good" just while I'm being supervised)"
2."Only adults are allowed to beat.When I grow up I'll beat too.(which doesn't sound very optimistic for your grandchildren,does it?)"
3."People beat other peope when they are mad and angry.When I'm angry I'll beat the others too(I start tomorrow in the kindergarten!)"
4.I'm a terrible person.I can't expect from people to like me.I deserve the bad attitude that they have to me and they will treat me with from now(Here is one sure recipe for choosing a husband-violator,underrating at the job place,endless school fails and office failures)"
Did you see the sentence "I won't hit my sister again"?Of course not.If the aim was to teach the child NOT to beat,this method is ridiculous.
Real discipline isn't connected with punishments or spanking.The word is from latin "discere" which means "teach",not "beat".
Many parents think that children will obey us if we make them suffer for their bad behavior and reward them for the good one.According to this type of thinking punishments and rewards will make the children choose the good behavior to the bad.Similar contentions may be valid for dogs which spend their whole life worshipping the master but people with dignity(which we want our kids to turn in) are different than dogs.Many dog-trainers already throw off punishments and rewards,taking up more effective means of discipline.If dogs don't deserve such an attitude,what to say about kids?
And about the Bible.God has said that about the rod.Researchers into Bible have said that the 'rod' is the one which herdsman have DIRECTED sheep with,not BEAT them.
And as an end to all this,I may advice you if you have problems with discipline,buy "Positive Discipline for Prechoolers" by Jane Nelsen.

Answer 9

If my child did something wrong that was serious enough, yep, they got a spanking. Like playing with matches in the house after having been warned----twice. Although I did not when the cop came to the house with both of them in tow after they had hid behind the bushes and threw a large dirt clod and broke his window on his police car. He wanted to know when the last time was that I had given them a spanking. I told him I would but I did not and gave them a lecture and they never did it again. I alway found that one can give a child a serious lecture in private and they understand and it is corrected. If it does not work, they got a spanking.

Answer 10

Spare the rod, spoil the child.
You discipline when it is appropriate (ie. defiancy)
You set your rules, they break them, do the time out thing.
But sometimes (not often)...spanking can be appropriate...but
not infront of others...as you are not disciplining to embarrass the child either.