2006-12-27 19:47:04 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
what does the kidcorn say to the mumcorn?
I want my popcorn!
2006-12-27 19:52:42 · answer #1 · answered by ~ ANGEL ~ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A frog leaps out of the magical forest where he has lived all his life and into a real forest. Since he lived in the magical forest he has magical powers. He sees a bear chasing a rabbit and thinks to himself, this isn't right, everyone should live in peace. So he stops the bear and rabbit and tells them that if they stop chasing each other he'll give them both three wishes.
The bear thinks for a second and wishes that all the rest of the bears in the forest were female. Poof, all of them are female. Next the rabbit wishes for a crash helmet. The bear looks at the rabbit wondering why he would want a crash helmet.
The bear thinks for a second making sure he makes a good second wish and wishes that all the rest of the bears in the country were female. Again -- poof -- all the rest became female. Then the rabbit wishes for a motorcycle. Now the bear steps back and looks at the rabbit in amazment. How dumb is this rabbit he thinks to himself. All he had to do was wish for money and he could buy all the motorcycles he ever wanted. This has to be the dumbest creature the bear has ever seen, he thinks to himself.
It is time for the bear's final wish and he takes a second to think and makes sure he doesn't waste it. After a minute he wishes that all the other bears in the whole world were female. And again poof they are all female.
Next the rabbit puts on his helmet and jumps on the bike. He turns around and smiles. Then he says, ''I wish that that bear is gay.''
2006-12-28 04:13:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This guy goes into a bar after a promotion to celebrate with his buddies. Aftr a few drinks he notices, behind the bar, a big jar stuffed with $50 bills, so he asks the bartender about it.
The bartender replies, "Oh that's just a running bet we have here. You gotta pay $50 into the pot and if you complete 3 tasks, you win the whole jar. As you can see, no one has ever won."
After a few more beers and 2 shots of Tequila, the man announces in a slightly tipsy voice, "Screw it, I just got a raise. I can afford to lose $50!" and he slams a $50 on the bar. "OK. What do I gotta do?"
"Well," says the bartender "like I said, there are 3 tasks. First you gotta finish a whole bottle of our homemade 200 proof Fire Water, after that you gotta help my pit bull tied up out back. He's got a sore tooth and you have to go pull it out for him. If you survive THAT, you have to go upstairs and pursuade the landlady upstairs to have sex with you. She's a virgin and she's 106 years old. Raping her is obviously out of the question."
"Fair enough" said the half-drunk man. The alcohol coursing through his veins had emboldened him. "Gimme that Fire Water!" And lo and behold, he managed, to everyone's shock to finish the whole bottle without pause.
Barely able to keep the contents of his stomach down, he was turned and nudged, by the astonished bartender in the direction of the back door, where the dog was tied up outside. The man stumbled drunkenly through the door and bravely slammed it closed behind him. A fierce barking, accompanied by breaking glass, garbage cans smashing, yelling and groaning erupted outside. After a minute or so of this racket, a loud dog yelp, followed by it's whining was heard.
Shortly afterwards, the man stumbled back through the door, his clothes torn, blood dripping from multiple bite wounds and looking like he'd been hit by a truck.
Then demanded in a drunken slurred voice, "OK. NOW WHERE'S THAT OLD LADY WITH THE SORE TOOTH?!!"
2006-12-28 04:23:25 · answer #3 · answered by Mary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man 1 : Hey buddy! I just bought this new, expensive hearing aids, and I'm not deaf anymore! I can hear perfectly now!
Man 2 : Really? How much was it?
Man 1 : Just yesterday.
2006-12-28 03:54:08 · answer #4 · answered by Michelle 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm driving by a cematary and my aunt asks me "I wonder how many people are dead in that cemetary. I looked at her and said "Thats a good question. . She said "I know. . . ALL OF THEM ARE". . .. . . . . Then she asked me "Do you know why they put fences around a cemetary"> . . . I said No, why. SHe said "Because their just dying to get out"
2006-12-28 04:00:44 · answer #5 · answered by Jeremy Medlock 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A boy asks a pirate with a pegleg, hook and eye patch how he got his peg leg
The pirate replies 'Yar, shark bit me leg off at sea."
The boy asks about the hook.
"Yar, lost it swashbuckling with other pirates."
The boy asks about the patch.
"Yar, A seagull pooped in my eye"
"And that made you lose your eye", asked the boy
"No, it was me first day with the hook."
2006-12-28 03:50:32 · answer #6 · answered by alwaysmoose 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
whats the difference between a hooker and an onion? Nobody cries when you chop up a hooker.
2006-12-28 03:50:40 · answer #7 · answered by Dannyboy 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
lol to all except the michael jackson one.
2006-12-28 03:52:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
michael jackson
2006-12-28 03:48:26 · answer #9 · answered by I hate carrots 6 · 1⤊ 3⤋
I can't do it here
2006-12-28 03:48:37 · answer #10 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋