All my life I'd always been a "loser" with women - couldn't get a date to save my life in most cases. Then I met a woman a little over a year ago who was everything I wanted - attractive (very), intelligent, nice, everything. We fell in love with each other and things got very serious; we even talked marriage. Then after her birthday in September, she pretty-much dumped me. I mean, third time she says "I want to marry you" and then six weeks later she's sleeping with some other guy. Pretty painful to say the least. Anyway, I'm at a crossroads: I'm afraid I won't find something else, the "beggars can't be choosers" mentality, I can't lower my standards (I'm just not that way) and I REFUSE to "use" another person to get me over her, thus hurting that other woman in the process. I feel caught between a rock and a hard place and since more (non-serious) relationships are the best way to get over past ones, I'm at a loss. What can I do?
2006-12-27 19:43:35 · 10 answers · asked by Phoenix 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She obviously did not love you if she was with another man. You need to think of your self and not others right now. You sound like a nice guy and although you think that you will not find another woman like that....well just give it some time. The perfect woman for you is out there somewhere just waiting to be found. You are doing the right thing by not using other women to get over the one that you just lost. But remember...It's HER LOSS not YOURS. Think of it this way...it's good that you found out now, that she is a cheater than after you got married. It sounds like it was a blessing in disguise. Good Luck and stay sweet!!
ps. Don't listen to Jacky either....she sounds like a loser and not you!!
2006-12-27 19:51:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perfect relationships don't come to an end. If a relationship comes to an end, it means that there's something that was wrong. Love is blind. You may just think that it was perfect because you loved her so much that you looked past all of her imperfections. I've been there before and it took me about a year to realize that I was being treated like dog sh*t. The best way to get over her would be to try your best to forget about her. Don't listen to music that makes you think about her, don't do things that make you think about her... just change up your routine to make sure that things around you won't make you think of her. After some time, you'll be mostly, but not completely over her. Then try to date other women. You'll find someone else. There's always one special person out there for everyone.
2006-12-28 03:56:34 · answer #2 · answered by pandabear™ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Find something to occupy your time with that will also make you feel good about yourself. If you don't already, go to the gym or join a sport, club etc. If you think you're a "loser" with women, what do you think you did differently to attract this "perfect" one in the first place? Relationship autopsies although grim, can really help you learn from past mistakes AS WELL AS past successes. You seem like an eloquent guy and if you just believe in yourself a little more you will radiate confidence...which is quite irresistable! Good luck! ;)
2006-12-28 03:50:26 · answer #3 · answered by ArrestingDistraction 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hi there ,im sorry that you have been hurt like this .....it really is hrd when this happens ,but you will move on a different lady will come into youre life take time out to sort out youre felings and the fact that you are not wanting some cheap one night stand says lot about you .......that you wouldnt want to hurt a woman do you realise how mny woman re going to be interestd with you for just saying that ..... this other woman didnt have any real respect for you when one moment she is talking bout marriage and the next she is away with someone else that is not on at any point .....good luck andtke care XX
2006-12-28 03:54:10 · answer #4 · answered by a parent hows been there !! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm in the mist of going through the same thing. I was with my ex boyfriend for 4 1/2 years, I was in love. He was the one. then one day out of nowhere it was over. I too refused to use another to get over it, but at the same time I felt unwanted by the opposite sex. All I can say is eventually you'll feel the urge to go back out there and try dating, and it will be hard. But it is also fun.
2006-12-28 03:49:00 · answer #5 · answered by gopats_54 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have had many relationships where I always thought this is the one and I was so dearly attacted to them, and always felt the same way you did. But once you are able to let go and move on it becomes so much easier to find that "special" someone else. Also remember to always love yourself first. You will not be able to love the other person in the relationship if you don't love yourself firt. It also takes time. Lots and Lots of time.
2006-12-28 03:48:30 · answer #6 · answered by Renee B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if it ended that way, then it was not so perfect after all. stop looking behind you and reminicing. move on.... DO NOT use another woman to help you forget because you will hurt her and yourself in the process... try to do something you like and get support from friends, hangout and have fun. eventually you wil forget all what happened and you will find someone else who will love you for who you are and will be lyal and trustworthy
2006-12-28 03:51:46 · answer #7 · answered by messy_missy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to relax yourself. Take a break from the relationship scene. Hang out with your boys, work out, work more hours, find a hobby, collect stamps if you have to. You difinitly do not want to jump into another relationship with your state of mind.
2006-12-28 03:56:09 · answer #8 · answered by se7enshooter 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you pick up the pieces and start living again.
2006-12-28 04:09:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
www.sosuave.com. if this doesn't help u - nothing will help u and u re quite a loser. pardon my french
2006-12-28 03:49:31 · answer #10 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋