I really want to have a baby, I'm 23 with my own home and have pretty much all I ever wanted. I am not really the monogamous type and have been considering asking my best guy friend to help me out, so to speak. I don't want anything from this person and it is someone I really care deeply for. I have no qualms about raising a child bymyself but if he wanted to be there that would be great but not really neccessary. Do you think it would be ok to approach him about it or should I not do it?
2006-12-27 19:23:03 · 16 answers · asked by pattiwish 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I have considered becoming a foster parent or adopting but it is a really long proccess....And either way the man would always be around no matter what...I've known him since I was younger and our parents are really good friends who would most definately support it!
2006-12-27 19:45:33 · update #1
I think that is a great idea! I applaud you for being a strong woman and knowing what you want and what you don't want! You seem to really have your head on straight! I must also tell you that having your own child is the most fulfilling, rewarding experience ever! I don't knock adoption or fostering but having a child is the best experience ever! Just go ask your friend to see if he is willing to help you out, so to say!
2006-12-28 04:27:52 · answer #1 · answered by surelycoolgirl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, it would definitely go against my values.... Honestly, I think it would be pretty selfish to ask your friend to create a child with you and not necessarily want him to be a part of that child's life. You would be asking him to either intentionally become a dead-beat dad or become a parent without the commitment that normally comes with child-producing relationships....
Also, if you're "not really the monogamous type," do you think you will be able to commit to your child? If so, I think you should think about adoption, as this idea just doesn't seem quite right.
2006-12-27 19:34:12 · answer #2 · answered by Christina 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm old fashioned but I'd say that would be not the best thing for your child.
My advice would be to wait a few years until you are a little older. Your feelings about monogamy might change, and it might be a better time for you.
Being a parent is a pretty big deal. It has more responsibilities than you can imagine. Give it some thought and try not to be selfish in making your decision.
2006-12-27 19:28:58 · answer #3 · answered by Warren D 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh, this is hilarious!
You reject adoption because the process takes so long (gee, what a bummer!), but you forsee no problems with volunteering to become an unwed mother. You imagine that everyone will behave in the way you would LIKE them to behave, but I think you'll find that other people seldom check with you to see how they ought to conduct themselves.
A baby isn't an accessory, by the way.
My advice: If you need "unconditional love" from somethinig smaller, get a dog. If you want to draw attention to yourself, get a new hairstyle.
2006-12-27 23:37:11 · answer #4 · answered by silvercomet 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you considered adoption? or being a foster parent?
Either of these two ways is a viable option for someone in your situation. There are also sperm donor banks that ensure privacy. It would be okay for you to bring up the topic with that person and see where it leads. You should definitely get his take on the subject before you approach him though.
2006-12-27 19:30:56 · answer #5 · answered by beaton_tlc 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are still young. Wait awhile. You may fall in love and want to be in a monogamous relationship with someone in a year or two and it would be much better for a child to have 2 loving and present parents. What's your hurry?
2006-12-27 19:27:27 · answer #6 · answered by puter_patty 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think a sperm bank would be better. He will have a legal claim to the child as his father and could make things very difficult for you especially if you have things like a house.
You would need a good lawyer to draw up a proper contract for him to sign that is iron tight.
2006-12-27 19:26:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
whats the hurry? Why not try looking for a good guy to settle down with? 23 you have plenty of time. what will you do when u do find mr. right & he is scared away by the Best friend & u having a bay????
2006-12-27 19:27:55 · answer #8 · answered by Baby On Board 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are young and could still fall in love,There are lots of issues to consider especially the feelings of the child later on in years,Give yourself some time.Your friend may not want to.
2006-12-27 19:30:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah spermbank, you can choose hieght, hair colour and even iq levels of the donator with never a worry about legal hassles, much better as all the doners will be screened for STD's ect, I don't know if even your good friend would want to tell you about his sexual exploits or whether he's even been tested for stuff.
2006-12-27 19:31:22 · answer #10 · answered by kijed7n 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋