Why do you think some people have such problems disclipling there kids?

Question

I mean you see these parents letting the kids take advantage of the paretns why? What wrong with them? There the parents they should be responsible and make sure they dislpline them correctly. I just don't understand it?

Answer 1

Being a parent of a two year old, I can understand why you see parents "not disciplining" them in public. Nowadays, you can't smack your child, if you show anger and force towards them or yell at them in public, you get evil looks from people, yet at home, it's easier to set them straight without smacking or anything. I also find my daughter runs a riot when we go shopping or anything, because she knows she can get away with it, yet at home she will be sent to the naughty corner. I think it's a case of your damned if you do,and damned if ya don't really. People judge, kids are naughty. I suggest waiting until you have one of your own, then it'll become crystal clear.

Answer 2

One can certainly argue that part of the reason for this is that the authority of parents in their ability to parent has been consistantly challenged successfully in recent years. If a parent feels that a certain method of discipline (not necessarily punishment, by the way as those are different words with different meanings) is warranted, but they are afraid to carry out such a methodology for fear of somebody else (perhaps even their own child who may make such a threat) calling Child Protective Services or some such similar organization, who can blame them for doing nothing? They certainly don't want to lose their child because of some perceived problem others have of their parenting skills or parenting choices. Children aren't stupid, though, so when they see that these threats actually work (as the parents usually believe they will and give their children little reason to think to the contrary by how they choose to respond to such a threat) they set their parents up to let them get away with murder and not allow their parents to actually parent anymore.

So, is there a solution to this problem? Yes, there is. We should let parents do the parenting and only allow such organizations to step in when there is an absolutely clear case of child neglect or child abuse. While some may argue that something as simple as a spanking is abusive under all circumstances, I think we should generally leave such decisions up to the parents. Any sensible person knows that there is a big difference between abuse (not always physical, either), punishment, and tough love. Part of being a parent is making the proper choice at the proper time. Parents, like all other people, are not perfect and make mistakes, but as a society and as a culture, we shouldn't be so quick to second guess what choices individual parents make unless there is an absolutely clear set of circumstances that dictate to society that a particular child is in imminent physical or psychological danger. If and when this happens, I think parents will generally feel much better at taking charge of their jobs as parents and much less worried about other people judging them for perceived parenting misdeeds, and they will be much better parents as a result.

Answer 3

I think we all have a problem disciplining our kids in public because of nosy people. You never know when you pop your child for running off from you if that sweet little old lady at the end of the isle is going to follow you to you car, get your tag number, and report you to Social Services. Yes, it has been done like that before... SEVERAL times. I don't think the kids are taking advantage of us, they are running over us. They are now being taught that if anyone hits them or does something they don't like, they have right to do something about it. And to an extent that is true, but that also takes away from a parents ability;y to discipline a child. The whole "time out" thing is a joke. YES, abusing a child needs to be delt with appropriately, but popping a child's hand for touching stuff in a store, to me, is not abuse. When you have kids, you will understand it completely. you can go ahead and say... My kids will never act that way... Well, unless you change society, they will...

Answer 4

I completely agree! I have 3 children, and 2 are ADHD. It doesn’t matter how well behaved they are at home, if I change one thing they go wild. Whether it be in public, or if someone else walked in our home, they go ape-shi!!! However, I have found tactful ways to reprimand them. They know beforehand, if they consistently say or do something out of line, they are going to be pinched. I am up close and personal with them when I look them in the eye and say, “that is enough.” Because we are quiet, other than a tear or two, no one really notices. And so what if they do? No one will take my kids away due to a call that was placed anonymously from the local Wal Mart. I smile at the dirty looks, because I know if I had not reprimanded, I would be getting the SAME dirty looks from the SAME person!

My children also know that the punishment at home will be extremely boring. However, if they are well behaved, they get to pick out their favorite snack. I also talk and play with them while walking around in the store. They know to keep a low tune, or we will stop. And even when we do get a little loud, who cares? Look around, people are smiling and laughing at us!

Answer 5

So what is correctly? Your way or mine?

Problems with discipline is related to persecution by others

The condemning of our actions with judgment- I think parents fear it. OR they are just lazy!

My son is 3 and I just deal with those folks all the time.
I have no problem disciplining mine or others if they are getting out of hand and their parents as well.

I have earned the title of B at the playground and have taken several smart mouth kids to the parents for some "action" .

I'm hard-nose-old school- it works and mine is "Yes Mame, No Sir" "Please and Thank you" Time out is the tool of choice and "pops" are used as the final straw. Each child is different and the parents need to be very aware of their actions and reactions in disciplining any one. I use the count to 5 or 10 wait rule for myself, unless their is "harm", then its immediate.

Answer 6

some people are just too tired at the end of the day to disipline. They can feel the guilt of being a working mum. Some want just to be their childs friend rather than the parent and others just don't want to deal with the consequences of disiplining (tantrums swearing screaming etc.) Too many excuses too many naughty kids.

Answer 7

my husbands sister(almost30yrs.) and brother and his wife(24 and 26) still live out by thier parents and i always wondered why they stay there but i think i know why, living there is free and the mom complains about them and thier behavor and attitudes but she like them around because she gets help with the chores and whatnot. so, yes, they did and still do take advantage of the parents and they are all still ungratful, isnt that something? disfunctional, i think.

Answer 8

because if you do they call the cops n dcf social services really quick. that's my reason i don't discipline sucks huh