Theres a guy i work with and i have always had a crush on him but i knew he has a girlfriend so i kept clear. A few months ago we started getting along really well and sort of flirting, at the start i didnt think it was anything, but the flirting got more serious. Anyway we have spoken about the whole thing several times and i have told him it needs to stop because its not fair but, everytime we agree for it too stop it does for a little while, then it gets right back were it started. Its getting to me because i have geniune feelings for this guy, he is a good friend and i dont think he would hurt anyone intentionaly but i dont know that he has any serious feelings and it is just screwing with my head. Everytime he hugs me or trys to touch me it sends me mixed signals. I really dont want us being weird around each other, we have to work together and i dont want this to keep happening if he has a girlfriend. Also nothing more than flirting has happened but its not right. Help?
2006-12-27 19:05:25 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First of all, if he keeps disregarding your requests that the behavior stop (and you're not leading him on or touching him back, etc.), then you need to make it much more clear what's going on and that it must stop.
Second, remind him that you are both in a work situation and that, in and of itself, makes the touching and flirting highly unprofessional and inappropriate and is distracting you both as employees while you're on your boss' time.
It is possible that he's just getting a "rise" out of seeing you squirm. But even still, this makes him immature, a bad friend, a lousy co-worker, and a real controlling pig.
Third, check to see if there is a written policy on employees fraternizing in the workplace.
Fourth, write him a note insisting that the behavior (be very specific) stop immediately for all of the above reasons. Keep a copy to remind yourself (and him) of this.
Don't delay. If some relationship DID develop inside or outside of work between you, remember how much you are questioning his integrity NOW due to the fact that he already has a girlfriend, but is still persisting in toying with you.
If he's doing it to her now, he'll surely do it to you when your back is turned too if you do get together whether he's free of his current girlfriend or not. That doesn't sound like the kind of guy you'd want for yourself. And, he's clearly not a "boy" who deserves a "woman" like you.
He's like a child: You need to be real clear, real firm, and real consistent. If necessary and at all possible, walk immediately away from him when he starts this behavior--and don't look back. Tell him you two can continue the
"work" conversation or tasl when his mind is better able to concentrate. Then let him explain to your boss why the work isn't getting out, the client being served,....bc it's no longer your fault, your complicity (in this behavior), or your problem.
2006-12-27 19:20:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the one that must make a move. Sounds like you are not so sure of this guy.Be the adult you are and speak with him, and tell him what you think. I think he might just be playing to see where it will lead. If he is doing this to his girl friend then he will do it to you. Don't lead him on. I think he is fishing, and if you wanted to get caught you would let him reel you in. To me, it sounds like you don't,and you are smart enough to cut the line. So do it. If not and it gets more involved a time will come when going to work will end up being a chore. Good luck.
2006-12-27 19:20:16 · answer #2 · answered by Praynographer ! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On the one hand, if he's always flirting back with you, he's probably not all that happy in his relationship with his gf. On the other hand, if he does cheat on her with you, then it's likely he could cheat on you with someone else if your new relationship goes stale. But generally speaking, you don't really want to get involved with a co-worker, unless you're positive it's just a fling. If one of you changes jobs and works somewhere else, then go for it. If you're ok with him flirting with other girls and he's no longer working with you, then I say see what's there. If there's nothing there, then you've just gained some valuable life experience.
2006-12-27 19:19:52 · answer #3 · answered by more_brains_than_brawn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It may be just a power trip for him but if he is acting that way toward you with a girl friend, keep telling yourself that he would do the same for you were you to be the girl friend and believe it!!
If you tell him that one time, that may well stop the flirting pretty fast.
2006-12-27 19:12:32 · answer #4 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only music approximately this unique situation could be "hotel California" with the aid of The Eagles. nevertheless a large album--I even have an previous vinyl replica that I have been given for my 14th birthday in (choke) 1977.
2016-11-24 19:29:51 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he just wants to *** you once he does it wont be like this anymore. IM not tryin to be mean but im about 99% sure thats whats up. If he has a gurl hes not gonna leave her for you. He just wants in your pants and the fact that you arent turned off that he has a gurl only reassures him that you are willing to be his one nighter. Trust me u get in this situation ur just gonna end up hurt. think bout it!!!!!!!!1
2006-12-27 19:09:19 · answer #6 · answered by fine_ass_fatty21 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
k i didnt read much of that cause its waaay to long but i just say complete honesty is key for a good relationship. and if that doesnt go well then u know it wasnt gona work anyways.
2006-12-27 19:08:39 · answer #7 · answered by Josh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him you both could get fired and he needs to stop
2006-12-27 19:14:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try stop talking to him. good luck and happy holidays.
2006-12-27 19:08:09 · answer #9 · answered by Joho 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Slam him down and do him
2006-12-27 19:12:50 · answer #10 · answered by PAM S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋