I have been dating this guy for almost 5 months now. I am not into him at all. When I do kiss him its only a peck on the lips and that has only happened maybe 5 times. We have not had sex and I have not stayed at his house overnight. He is a very sweet guy and would be great for me but I am not into him like he is to me. He got me tons of things for christmas and has already made new years plans. I work with him. He tells me that he loves me. How do I let him down. and when. I am 28 and he is 40
2006-12-27 18:38:18 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tell him before he really falls for you - just be honest and tell him the facts. You like him as a friend, but you don't see you with him long term. His feelings will be hurt, and you might want to offer to give his gifts back as a peace offering.
Next time, don't date someone you work with - you could even use that as an excuse.
2006-12-27 18:41:46 · answer #1 · answered by Buttercup - VP Bamma Fan Club 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to say it, because I'm sure you've heard it before, but the best thing to do is just tell him the truth.
Sit him down in "neutral" territory (like at a restraunt, or something like that), and explain to him that though you appreciate all he's done for you, and that you think he's a sweet guy, that he just doesn't do it for you. It'll be the toughest thing in the world to do, since I'm guessing he'll send you all the heart broken signs he can possibly throw out, but telling him any other way just won't get through.
I had to do the same thing with a guy I had been dating for four months. We had already reached the "I love you" stage, so I felt really bad about breaking it off and tried to come up with another excuse. Since I wasn't honest with him about the reason, he's been trying to gain back my affection for two years now- it's gone so far we can't even be friends now!
It'll be tough as all heck, but if he just doesn't do it for you he just doesn't do. Let him down gently, talk like two adults, and things will eventually be okay.
2006-12-27 18:46:11 · answer #2 · answered by Ai-chan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow that's a big age range there. I think the best thing to do is be honest with him, theres no right way to tell a person you only see them as a friend. I think being upfront about it could be a good approach but ive always been blunt about things. Perhaps you need to tell him that hes pushing you to fast and you're not ready for anything serious, but first actually you should ask him how he feels about you and why hes so nice to you and ask him for a legit answer to why he loves you, then see if hes sincere or not. Then give him the, i need space to figure out things speech, thats always a bummer but a little less hurtful. Just be honest, aand fair to him and with yourself before it gets deeper and hes buying you rings and asking you to marry him.
2006-12-27 18:42:15 · answer #3 · answered by flawless_agony 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Introduce him to ur "boyfriend", tell him that ur a lesbian, or u could just stop spending time with him and stop leading him on silly, if some hot guy was givin u attention u'd b all up on that too. I feel sorry for him, get out of his life so he can find a woman who wants to have sex with him. Create sum boundaries pussycat don't go out with guys more than 5 years older than u!
2006-12-27 18:43:56 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am always about working out situations with partners... but if you are not into him and you are not married to him.. then you have every right to feel the way you do!
But you do need to let him know.... even thou he will be hurt.. you need to be honest with him.. but Gentle..Be a loving friend!
You need to give him all of his gifts back.. it is the right thing to do.. Do not take advantage of his generosity.. And you need to break it off before New Years.. It will hurt... but it will also create the landmark for him to start the New Year free and Honest!
2006-12-27 18:44:24 · answer #5 · answered by Esther J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This has just dawned on you after five months?
Well, of course not. I'm guessing you've been putting things off, or maybe waiting to see if you couldn't find that spark...
Well... There's no three ways about it. You've got to just tell him you don't feel the same way about him. The sooner the better.
2006-12-27 18:41:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
nicely, your first mistake became relationship somebody you artwork with, yet different than which you're able to desire to tell him you will be friendly at artwork yet it is it. no telephone calls or texts. you're shifting on and it relatively is with out him. he's merely keeping you shut, like a fall back. many adult adult males want to do this. are not getting caught up in his flirtatious techniques.
2016-11-24 19:26:54 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The sooner the better. It's terrible to drag someone on and on. It's not good for you or them. He might be infatuated because you are so much younger than him also. Tell him somewhere where there are other people if your not sure that he'll flip.
2006-12-27 18:42:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him, and return the gifts people in the real world call that leading someone on and using them
2006-12-27 18:43:45 · answer #9 · answered by undeniable 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is always exceptions about being confused about intensity of individuals love for another.be sure of the truthfulness ;warmth ;purity of relationship .love cares not about differences like colour caste creed n age -explore sensitively the depth of waters
2006-12-27 18:45:51 · answer #10 · answered by samrat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋